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Cheat Sheet / Updated 05-12-2023
Want to find out more about how to be the person you’ve always wanted to be? This Cheat Sheet tells you how to act "as if." Explore how to behave without giving the game away. Try a few easy exercises that will strengthen your body.
View Cheat SheetArticle / Updated 05-11-2023
With household names like Ryan Reynolds, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and Megan Thee Stallion going public about their struggles with anxiety and depression in recent years, mental health is finally becoming less taboo. It wasn’t long ago that any deviation from the norm was treated like a shameful secret: Mental health conditions were ignored, waved away, or handled in private — and often inhumane — ways (think lobotomies). The ongoing lack of visibility into these struggles served to perpetuate the myth that mental health issues were pretty rare — and that the few people who did struggle were somehow to blame for their condition. Today, we know mental health conditions are actually incredibly common: According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience a mental illness. And that number is growing: the stress, fear, grief, isolation, and uncertainty of the global pandemic led to an increase in mental health issues — particularly among young adults — according to the CDC. Of course, that’s a conservative picture: In cultures, professions, and communities where mental illness stigma remains alive and well, addressing your own struggles has consequences — anything from social ostracization to losing your job. Meanwhile, a lack of access to affordable health care and unbiased information creates additional barriers for those most in need of support. And, when left untreated and unacknowledged, one person’s poor mental health can create a ripple effect that impacts their loved ones. When we look at the toll that untreated mental illness takes on our society, it’s safe to assume we’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg. It’s a complex, sensitive, and crucial issue — which is why awareness remains so important. What is a mental illness? According to NAMI, mental illness refers to a wide range of conditions that affect “a person's thinking, feeling, behavior or mood.” Waking up on the wrong side of the bed, it is not — while symptoms can ebb and flow, mental illness is partially defined by the impact it has on day-to-day functioning and personal relationships. Following, are some of the most common types of mental illness. Anxiety disorders Anxiety disorders can manifest in a number of ways: from racing thoughts or risk-averse behavior to an upset stomach. Anxiety disorders are the most common — and the most treatable — form of mental illness, impacting more than 40 million Americans over 18. They include: Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) Panic disorder Agoraphobia (an extreme fear of large crowds, open spaces, leaving one’s home, or being unable to escape) Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) Social anxiety disorder Check out our many Dummies books on Emotional Health & Psychology. Mood disorders While anyone can experience a mood swing, the highs and lows are more severe, persistent, and disruptive for those living with mood disorders. There are a variety of mood disorders, each with their own diagnostic criteria and symptoms. A person with bipolar disorder may experience drastic swings between high moods (mania) and low moods (depression), while a person with major depressive disorder experiences the lows — changes in sleep and appetite, persistent feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness, lack of motivation, inability to focus or make decisions, and feelings of emptiness — without the highs. Mood disorders include: Major depressive disorder (MDD) Persistent depressive disorder (also known as dysthymia) Bipolar disorder Substance-induced mood disorder READ MORE: Depression For DummiesBipolar Disorder For Dummies Psychotic disorders Psychotic disorders make it difficult for a person to discern between reality and delusions or hallucinations. These disorders are characterized by distortions in one’s thinking and perception. Disorders include: Schizophrenia Schizoaffective disorder Brief psychotic disorder Delusional disorder Substance-induced psychotic disorder Other mental health conditions include eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia, personality disorders like borderline personality disorder (BPD), developmental disorders like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and dissociative disorders like depersonalization disorder. Treating mental health conditions It’s not easy living with a mental health condition, but there are several options to make life more manageable. Some of the most popular include: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) teaches common sense principles that help people break out of unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors. It’s thought to be the most effective form of therapy for a number of conditions, including anxiety, addiction, depression, eating disorders, social anxiety, and personality disorders. Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is a form of CBT. While DBT also helps people recognize unhelpful thinking and behavioral patterns, the primary teaching is mindfulness techniques that help patients regulate their emotions in a world full of suffering. It works best for people who have trouble controlling their responses to strong emotions. READ MORE: DBT For Dummies Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) uses mindfulness to help people build their interpersonal relationship skills and manage anxiety related to said relationships. READ MORE: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy For Dummies Mindfulness is more than the buzzword du jour — it’s a great way to manage anxiety, addiction, and even everyday stress. Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of — and accepting — the present moment. Meditation is one of many ways to cultivate this skill. READ MORE: Managing Depression with Mindfulness For Dummies; Managing Anxiety with Mindfulness For Dummies; Meditation For Dummies, 4th Edition When all else fails, medication could be the missing link. A psychiatrist can help determine if psychiatric drugs would be a beneficial form of treatment.
View ArticleArticle / Updated 05-11-2023
Listen to the article:Download audio According to Exodus in the Old Testament, God issued his own set of laws, the Ten Commandments, to Moses on Mount Sinai. In Basic Beliefs of Catholicism, the Ten Commandments are considered divine law because God himself revealed them. And because they were spelled out specifically with no room for ambiguity, they’re also positive law. That's why they’re also known as divine positive law. The 10 Catholic commandments that form the divine positive laws apply to the family as a whole as well as its individual members. However, they are not the only laws that Catholics are duty-bound to follow. Catholics are also expected to be law-abiding citizens and follow natural moral law, canon law (also known as church law), and all legitimate and ethical civil laws of their city, state, and nation — provided they don’t contradict the laws of God or the church. The Ten Commandments of the Catholic church are not negotiable. They apply to every human being above the age of reason (at least 7 years old). If you look at the Ten Commandments in order, you’ll see that the first three deal with your personal relationship with God, whereas the final seven deal with your interpersonal relationships (loving your neighbor). For the most part, the Catholic church's ten commandments are simple and clear, with many of the rules verging on common sense. For example, most people don’t need to be told to honor their parents or not to steal, cheat, lie, or take an innocent life. However, for some people, relying on common sense isn’t enough. So in His divine mercy, God revealed His divine positive law to remove all doubt and ambiguity. The church doesn’t see the Catholic Ten Commandments as arbitrary rules and regulations from the man upstairs; rather, they are commandments for protection. Obey them and eternal happiness is yours in heaven. Disobey them and suffer the consequences. Of course, being a devout Catholic does not stop at following the 10 Commandments. In order to understand how they fit into the overall belief system, you must also consider the other pillars of faith. Along with the Ten Commandments, Catholic church members recognize the Creed, the seven sacraments, and the Our Father as the four pillars of faith because they’re the foundations upon which the Catholic Church is built. For more information and resources about the basic articles of the Catholic faith, take a look at the Catholicism For Dummies Cheat Sheet before reading on to learn about the Ten Commandments in order. What are the Ten Commandments in order according to Catholicism? When you study the Ten Commandments in order, Catholic beliefs become laid out as a clear set of moral principles that form the foundation of Judeo-Christian religious and ethical traditions. These have been the cornerstone of ethical and legal systems throughout history. Following, are the commandments in order, beginning with the main theme of each, the actual commandment in quotes, and explanations. Honor God. “I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have any gods before Me.” This commandment forbids idolatry, the worship of false gods and goddesses, and it prohibits polytheism, the belief in many gods. It insists, instead, on monotheism, the belief in one God. This commandment forbids making golden calves, building temples to Isis, and worshipping statues of Caesar, for example. These pagan concerns are of little concern to the church of today. Rather, there are several relevant ways to obey the first of the Catholic commandments in the modern world: Rejecting false belief systems like astrology, numerology, New Age spirituality, or the Church of Scientology Tuning out distractions by putting God ahead of career, fame, and fortune Spending quality time with God and never neglecting prayers Honoring Mary and the saints through prayer, rather than idolizing them Honor God's name. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” According to the 10 Commandments, Catholic church faithfuls are required to honor the name of God. It makes sense that if you’re to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, then you’re naturally to respect the name of God with equal passion and vigor. This means avoiding blasphemy by using the names of God or Jesus Christ to show anger or hostility. The bible teaches Catholics to respect holy things and holy oaths. Making jokes, watching movies, or reading books that are disrespectful to God or anything considered holy is a no-go. Honor God's day. “Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.” The Jewish celebration of Sabbath (Shabbat) begins at sundown on Friday evening and lasts until sundown on Saturday. Catholic, Protestant, and Orthodox Christians go to church on Sunday, treating it as the Lord’s Day, instead of Saturday, to honor the day Christ rose from the dead on Easter Sunday. Catholics are required to: Attend Catholic Mass every Sunday or Vigil Mass on Saturday each week. Skipping Mass without valid reason is considered a mortal sin. Avoid doing any servile work (unnecessary hard labor) on the Lord’s Day. Pastors can transfer the obligation to another day, but only for serious reasons – like for congregation members who are doctors, nurses, police officers, firefighters, etc. Respect your parents. “Honor thy father and mother.” This commandment obliges the faithful to show respect for their parents — as children and adults. Children must obey their parents, and adults must respect and see to the care of their parents when they become old and infirm. Adult children who abandon, abuse, or neglect their elderly parents are violating the fourth commandment just as much as younger children who refuse to show respect or obedience. However, the Catholic Church believes this commandment means more than just keeping order in the home. It also implies respect and honor for everyone in legitimate positions of authority — whether civilian, military, or ecclesiastical. Honor human life. “Thou shalt not kill.” The better translation from the Hebrew would be “Thou shalt not murder” — a subtle distinction but an important one to the Church. Killing an innocent person is considered murder. Killing an unjust aggressor to preserve your own life is still killing, but it isn’t considered murder or immoral. However, it’s essential to note the use of deadly force is only morally permitted if it’s the last resort in self-defense and if the person isn’t innocent. More subtle violations of the fifth commandment include growing angry in your heart, harboring feelings of hatred or revenge, being criminally negligent, and committing personal abuse by intentionally neglecting to take care of your own health and safety — such as abusing drugs and alcohol. Mutilation and torture of human or animal life are also considered a sin. Honor human sexuality. “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” This is one of the moments where examining the Ten Commandments in order becomes a little tricky, as both the sixth and ninth commandments honor human sexuality. This commandment forbids the physical act of having immoral sexual activity, specifically adultery, which is sex with someone else’s spouse or a spouse cheating on their partner. This commandment also includes fornication, which relates to any form of sexual activity between unmarried people. This includes prostitution, pornography, homosexual activity, masturbation, group sex, rape, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia. The Church believes that sexual intercourse was ordained by God and designed exclusively for a husband and wife. Only sex between a husband and wife is considered moral, and even then, the couple must be mutually respectful of each other. Honor the property of others. “Thou shalt not steal.” This commandment forbids the act of taking someone else’s property. The Catholic church believes that this commandment also denounces cheating people of their money or property, depriving workers of their just wage, or not giving employers a full day’s work for a full day’s pay. Embezzlement, fraud, tax evasion, and vandalism are all considered extensions of violations of the seventh commandment. Showing disrespect for the private ownership of someone else’s property — be it money or possessions — is also considered a sinful act. However, although the church sees property as a fundamental right, it’s not considered absolute. For example, if a person owns more food than he needs, he is obligated to donate a portion of his goods and share them with a person who is starving. Honor the truth. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” The eighth commandment condemns lying. Because God is regarded as the author of all truth, the church believes that humans are obligated to honor the truth. The most obvious way to fulfill this commandment is not to lie — intentionally deceive another by speaking a falsehood. So, a good Catholic is the kind of person you want to buy a used car from. Figures of speech, metaphors, hyperboles, and fairy tales aren't considered lies because the listener isn’t expecting accurate facts, and the speaker doesn’t intend to deceive. But intentionally lying is always considered sinful, even if the reasons are noble. Concealing the truth is not considered a lie, however. After all, the Seal of the Confessional is a fundamental principle for Catholic priests. Honor human sexuality. “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” The ninth commandment forbids the intentional desire and longing for immoral sexuality. To sin in the heart, Jesus says, is to lust after a woman or a man in your heart with the desire and will to have immoral sex with them. Just as human life is a gift from God and needs to be respected, defended, and protected, so, too, is human sexuality. Catholicism regards human sexuality as a divine gift, so it’s considered sacred in the proper context: marriage. Under the Ten Commandments of the catholic church, marriage is considered the best, most sacred, and most efficient union of man and woman because God created marriage. It signifies the permanent, faithful, and hopefully fruitful covenant. Human sexual activity is designed to promote unity and procreation. Whenever that formula is altered or divided, the church sees it as living in sin. Honor the property of others. “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods.” The tenth commandment forbids the wanting or taking of someone else’s property. Along with the Seventh Commandment, this commandment condemns theft and the feelings of envy, greed, and jealousy in reaction to what other people have. In a wider context, the church believes that, although private property is a right, it’s subservient to higher values, such as human life and national security. So although Catholics don’t believe that governments have the right to usurp private property and nationalize businesses, they do believe they have an obligation to protect private property and to help individuals and other nations in great need.
View ArticleArticle / Updated 05-05-2023
If you are depressed, you want to avoid doing nothing or having the wrong thoughts about it. Here are a few things you should do — or absolutely should not do. Do get help. You can start with self-help resources like books and the Internet, but you need to see a professional if your mood doesn't lift soon. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Don't ignore feelings of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts. These symptoms are serious! Seek help immediately. Don't think that there's nothing you can do. Depression is highly treatable. Do keep trying. If your first attempt to treat depression doesn't work, try something new. A variety of ways exist to help you. Don't blame yourself. Depression has many causes, and you certainly didn't ask for it.
View ArticleArticle / Updated 05-03-2023
When you have bipolar disorder, you're encouraged to chart your moods, sleep, and energy levels daily to record patterns that may help you spot the early warning signs of a developing mood episode (mania or depression). In addition, this log provides valuable information to guide your doctor and therapist in their treatment decisions. Print this version of the mood chart and make as many copies as you need — or feel free to make your own, if you're spreadsheet-savvy. In the column for each day, record the following: Mood level: Place a check mark in the box that represents your overall mood for that day, which ranges from –5 (Depressed) to +5 (Manic). Hours sleep: Record the total number of hours you slept. Assigning sleep hours for a day can get tricky, because you're likely to fall asleep late one day and wake up early the next day. Consider assigning sleep hours to the night before. For example, if you slept from 10 p.m. Sunday to 6 a.m. Monday, assign those hours to Sunday (add in any nap time from during the day on Sunday). Energy level: Write a number from 0 (no energy) to 5 (supercharged) in the Energy level box. Notes: Jot down notes, such as a change in medication, exercise routine, or diet. Bring your mood charts to your doctor and therapy visits. Having this type of document to point back to and reflect on can be a powerful tool.
View ArticleArticle / Updated 05-03-2023
When choosing whether to take the name-brand or generic version of a medication for bipolar disorder, you and your doctor may want to consider the possible differences. Many people wonder whether name-brand medications are any better or even any different from their generic equivalents. Although the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) regulates both name-brand and generic medications, how those regulations apply to generic medications can lead to differences in how effective the medication is and in the side effects it causes, even when the generic has the same amount of the same active ingredient(s) as the name-brand version. The following sections provide the guidance you need to make well-informed choices between generics and name-brand medications. Consider the cost Most of the time for most people and with most medicines, generics are equivalent products and work just fine. The choice is usually straightforward: With the generic costing less, working just as well, and having the same or similar side effect profile, the more affordable generic is the better choice. However, in a minority of situations, the name-brand product is the better choice. In some cases, cost can be the determining factor in whether the person is able to obtain and take the medication. Being able to afford medications is critical for people to take the right amount of medication and to keep taking it. If the medicine is too expensive, people sometimes try to ration their medicines by lowering or skipping doses or even stopping a medicine entirely. Oddly, in certain situations, insurers cover the cost of a certain name-brand medication but not its generic. This is usually related to a financial arrangement between the insurance company and the pharmaceutical company that makes the name-brand product. Similarities between name-brand and generic medications According to the FDA, generic medications contain the same active ingredients as their name-brand counterparts, so theoretically, they should be equally effective, and in most cases they are. Here's how the two are similar: Same active ingredient(s): The vast majority of generic medications contain the same active chemical as in the name-brand version. Very similar bioequivalence: The generic version of the medication must be bioequivalent to the name brand. To be bioequivalent, the bioavailability of the generic must be very similar to that of the original medication. Bioavailability represents the amount of active chemical that gets into the system and the rate at which it does so. The bioavailability of the generic doesn't have to be identical to that of the original medication; it can be between 80 and 125 percent of the name brand. This may sound like a wide variation, but for most medications, in most people's bodies, the difference doesn't seriously affect how the generic works or the side effects it causes when compared to the name brand. Differences between name-brand and generic medications Although the generic is required by the FDA to deliver nearly the same amount of the same active ingredient(s) at about the same rate as the name-brand version, response to differences in the two can become more pronounced in the following areas: Individual response: How a person's body absorbs and then breaks down the medication can affect their response to a medication that's more or less bioavailable. If you change from a name brand to a generic, or vice versa, and you feel differently on it, let your doctor know. Medication class: Certain classes of medications have had some difficulties with these differences in bioavailability. For example, anticonvulsants (medicines for seizures, that are also often used to treat bipolar disorder) have a narrow therapeutic window, which means that getting control of seizures can require extremely tight management of doses and blood levels (within very narrow ranges). Studies have suggested that although patients who are started on a generic brand of an anticonvulsant may do well, changing from a previously well-managed dose of name brand to a similar dose of generic may cause reduced control of seizures. No specific studies show the same challenges with preventing mood cycles, but you and your doctor should consider and discuss the possibility. Extended-release versions: Long-acting versions of medications can be more difficult for generic companies to duplicate. In 2012, the FDA withdrew approval for a particular type and dose of a generic form of the long-acting antidepressant Wellbutrin XL. After patient and doctor complaints, the FDA tested and found that the generic version was only about 40 percent as bioavailable as the name brand. Other generic versions (by other manufacturers) were bioequivalent, but this one was withdrawn from the market. A similar incident happened recently with a generic version of the long-acting ADHD medication Concerta. Fillers: Medications include a variety of fillers and dyes that create the actual pill. Individuals may have more or less tolerance for these inactive ingredients (whether they're in the generic or name-brand version); they may even experience allergic reactions to them. Dealing with differences between generics of the same medication One downside to using a generic product is that a number of different manufacturers typically make the same product, and pharmacies may change suppliers to manage cost or supply levels. So, even though you may be stable on a generic version of your medicine, when you switch to a different generic, your response could change. With anti-seizure medications, this can be especially risky, but it could affect benefits or side effects in less dangerous but very important ways with other kinds of medicine, as well. Another concern is that the generic may look different depending on the manufacturer, which isn't usually a big problem, but it can cause challenges for certain populations, such as the elderly, who may experience confusion with that kind of change, or children, who may have difficulty swallowing a pill if it is much larger, for example.
View ArticleArticle / Updated 05-03-2023
Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is not just typical childhood rebellion. All children are oppositional at times; it's part of growing up and developing independence and personality. For most kids, rebellious behaviors respond fairly well to the usual carrot-and-stick parenting techniques, but oppositional kids exhibit a much more tenacious defiance. Parents describe the child as being stubborn, strong-willed, or simply a pain in the neck. When this pattern creates significant problems in function — at school, at home, with friends, or during activities — a doctor or therapist may suggest a diagnosis of ODD, which is described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, as: "A pattern of angry/irritable mood, argumentative/defiant behavior, or vindictiveness lasting at least 6 months . . . and is not exclusively directed at siblings." ODD's irritable mood and behavioral difficulties — not doing as one's told — can overlap with mania. Although this is often a confusing area, the child with ODD demonstrates these symptoms chronically and not episodically. Furthermore, ODD doesn't include other manic symptoms such as energy changes and grandiosity. ODD is a problematic diagnosis in many regards, because its core symptoms are nonspecific. Irritable mood and defiant behavior can be associated with a wide range of developmental and psychiatric conditions. Your child needs a careful medical and psychiatric evaluation to help understand the mechanisms underlying these difficult symptoms. Bipolar disorder/mania is one possible explanation, but others can include unipolar depression, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, language disorders, autism spectrum disorder, and trauma, among others.
View ArticleArticle / Updated 05-03-2023
You have either been granted a parenting order by the courts or negotiated with your former partner to be the primary caregiver. It’s more unusual for dads to be primary caregivers than it is for moms, so take pride that you’re blazing a trail for dads everywhere! As the primary caregiver, you’re in charge of your kids. Whenever you have to make a decision about your family, keep in mind that the kids come first. Coming to terms with being a primary caregiver Having day-to-day care of your children on your own can be both exciting and terrifying. Being primary caregiver is a huge responsibility, and you need to take a lot into consideration: How do you look after yourself in all this? How will you handle contact arrangements with your former partner? How often will your children see your former partner’s family? Where will you find the money for mortgage payments or rent, food, clothes and school uniforms, school fees, doctor’s visits, transport, school supplies, extracurricular activities, and sports fees? Will you work, or receive welfare or child support payments? How much time will you have for paid employment? How will you juggle your children’s school and sports schedules? How are you going to sort out life with your children if you have a new partner? At times it may seem daunting to be a single dad, but plenty of single moms are out there looking after children and doing a bang-up job. A dad can do just as good a job as a mom! It helps to have a routine and make sure your kids know what’s happening. Enlisting family to give you some space or help with pick-ups or babysitting from time to time also helps. Supporting your children’s mother Even though you’re not partners in a romantic sense, you and your children’s mother are still partners in a parenting sense. Whatever happened during the marriage or partnership that caused the breakdown and separation, it’s time to let go of the negative feelings — the hurt, the resentment, the anger — and get on with raising your children as best as you can. Your children need their mother around. Although she doesn’t live with your children anymore, she can see them all the time and have a close, loving bond with them. What can you do to support the relationship between your kids and their mom? Here are some ideas: Just like bedtime and dinnertime, you might like to make mom time a daily ritual. Mom could call at the same time each night to say good night or read a bedtime story on the phone. If she lives nearby, she could come over for half an hour at the same time each night to tuck the children in. Keep your children’s mother up to date with your children’s progress at school, any special events that are coming up, or parent–teacher evenings she should attend. Keep your negative comments about your kids’ mom to yourself — bad-mouthing her to your children is not okay. They love their mother and have trust in her, and eroding those feelings helps no one. Realize your former partner may be feeling inadequate or irresponsible as a mother. Appreciate that this arrangement is probably quite tough for her. Share pictures, stories, artwork, and school successes with your former partner so she still feels a part of what the children are up to when she’s not there. Try not to be too rigid with contact arrangements. Go easy on your ex-partner if she’s a little late. At the beginning she may be a bit nervous or unsure of how her relationship with her kids is going to work out. Make sure the kids are ready to go when she arrives and pack their bags so she’s not caught out without diapers or sippy cups. Seeking help and assistance As the primary caregiver of the children, you may require some (or loads) of help and assistance. You shouldn’t hold back from making use of what is available. Parenting courses In some cases, courts can require you to complete online parenting courses during the divorce process. Websites such as positiveparenting.com can provide you with a list of acceptable courses. Fatherhood.gov can help you find local programs in your state as well as provide other sources of information that can help you be the best parent possible. Financial help Contact the appropriate government department to see whether you’re eligible for any benefits or tax credits. The IRS website can give you information on whether or not you qualify, based on your income and other factors. Getting out and about Just knowing you’re part of a wider network of dads raising their kids alone and well is invaluable. It’s also really healthy for your kids to know they’re not the only ones dealing with mom and dad being apart. If parents’ groups or dads’ groups are close to where you are, join in so you can network with other parents. Personal help The end of a relationship can bring up some personal issues. You may realize you need help with anger management, self-esteem, or managing stress. Don’t procrastinate — if you feel you could benefit from a coach, therapist, or other specialist, pick up the phone or search the Internet. Your kids need you to be the best dad you can be, so if that means getting a bit of help, just do it. Having fun Despite everything that has happened, spending time with your children is still generally great fun. But you may encounter some times when it isn’t so much fun. When you’ve had a rough day in the office and come home to bills in the mail and children who turn up their noses at their dinner, just stop for a moment and clear your head. Take a look at your children’s faces. Remember how much you love them and how they make you smile and laugh. Your children are worth every bit of extra effort in the end. Your children will bring you more joy than frustration if you’re open to it. Play and interact with your children as much as you can. Read books together, give them lots of hugs, and let yourself be a bit silly with them. Children can learn so much from an involved and caring father. If you’re an older dad, constant playing can take a toll on you, so get other family members involved, set up play dates, and share the fun, while you spend time with adults watching the children have fun. Actually, this is highly recommended for parents of all ages!
View ArticleArticle / Updated 05-03-2023
Gambling involves the betting or wagering of valuables on uncertain outcomes and takes many forms — from games of chance to skill-based activities. People have many motivations for gambling, but all involve the hope of gaining more. Gambling is sometimes a rite of passage by which people discover more about themselves and how to compete with others. It is sometimes a way of life (for people such as casino pros and escape gamblers). It can be, in its healthiest form, a way of socializing and having fun. Pathological gambling is a progressive disorder that involves impulse-control problems. The consequences of pathological gambling are severe and may be devastating to the addicted person's family and career, but the disorder can be treated. As with all addictions, pathological gambling has personal, familial, and neurochemical aspects. Pathological gamblers may even have a genetic vulnerability, although such complex behaviors are unlikely to be traced to one specific gene in the same way some medical conditions, like cystic fibrosis, have been. Problem gambling pioneer Dr. Robert Custer identified three phases to a progressive gambling problem: a winning phase, a losing phase, and a desperation phase. Winning phase In the winning phase, you may experience a "big win" or a series of smaller wins that result in excess optimism. You may feel an unrealistic sense of power and control and you're excited by the prospect of more wins. ("Hey Doc, this is a sure thing. I'm betting the farm.") At the same time, you can't maintain the excitement unless you're continually involved in high-risk bets. Your bets increase, and ultimately, the increased risk puts you in a vulnerable situation where you can't afford to lose . . . and then, sure as the sun rises, you do lose. Losing phase In the losing phase, you may brag about past wins; how you had the casino or track or bookie on the ropes. But in the immediate situation, you're losing more than winning. You're more likely to gamble alone, and when not gambling, you're more likely to spend time thinking about how and when you'll gamble next. Most importantly, you're concerned with how you'll raise more money, legally or illegally. You may have a few wins that fuel the size of your bets. But the dominant pattern is that of losing. Moreover, making the next bet becomes more important than the winning of any previous bet. As the losing continues, you start lying to family and friends and feeling more irritable, restless, and emotionally isolated. You start borrowing money that you're unsure about being able to repay. As your life becomes unmanageable, you may be developing some serious financial problems. Your denial of the huge financial pressures that are building may seem unbelievable to some people: You're also likely to start chasing your losses, trying to win back what you lost. ("Doc, I'll stop, but first I've got to get back to even.") If you don't change your pattern, however, you'll be engaging in more and more self-destructive behavior. Desperation phase The next phase, the desperation phase, involves still another marked change in your gambling behavior. You may now make bets more often than is normal, in more desperate attempts to catch up and "get even." The behavior that's now out of control is associated with deep remorse, with blaming others, and with the alienation of family and friends. You may engage in illegal activities to finance your gambling. You may experience a sense of hopelessness and think about suicide and divorce. Other addictions and emotional problems may also intensify during this phase and drag you down.
View ArticleArticle / Updated 04-27-2023
The American Diabetes Association (ADA) updates its guidelines for standards of medical care annually. These are the 2022 guidelines for screening: People with symptoms of thirst, frequent urination, and weight loss are tested immediately. Starting at age 35, all people without risk factors should be tested for prediabetes and type 2 diabetes every three years if tests are normal. (The ADA changed this from the previously recommended age of 45.) Women planning to become pregnant should be screened with a fasting glucose test, especially if they have risk factors. People should be tested at a younger age and more often if: They are obese. They have a parent or sibling with diabetes. They are from a high-risk group, such as African American, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American. They have delivered a baby more than 9 pounds or had gestational diabetes. They have high blood pressure. They have low HDL cholesterol or high triglycerides.
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