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","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>The Reiki system of healing uses universal life-force energy. Reiki originated in Japan and was discovered by Mikao Usui in 1922. Usui Reiki has two main branches: Japanese and Western. Both forms include the same basic features, including those in the following list. Reiki is</p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Safe:</strong> No one can do any harm with the Reiki energy.</li>\n<li><strong>Intelligent:</strong> The energy knows where to go and what to do to help you.</li>\n<li><strong>Natural: </strong>You need no other tools or instruments besides the Reiki practitioner, who channels the Reiki energy through their hands.</li>\n<li><strong>Gentle:</strong> The practitioner places their hands softly on the body or just above it. 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Go through this list when preparing to give or receive Reiki:</p>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Attunements (initiations):</b> Within a context of Reiki training, you are put “in tune” with the Reiki energy so that you have the life-long ability to channel the energy.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Hand positions:</b> Use a set of positions to know where to place your hands during a Reiki session.</p>\n<ul class=\"level-two\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Self-Reiki hand positions:</b> Use these positions to treat yourself with Reiki.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Treating others hand positions:</b> Use these positions to treat other people with Reiki.</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Meditation and focusing:</b> Connect with the source of Reiki universal energy and concentrate the Reiki healing energy within yourself.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Symbols:</b> Use the Reiki symbols and the sound of their name as a mantra to connect with Reiki energy.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Reiki Principles:</b> The five principles of Reiki are used as the basis of a daily meditation practice.</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n"},{"title":"The three levels of Reiki training ","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Reiki is easy to pick up, with only three levels of training to reach the level of Master. 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Nationally known for his expertise in the field of stress and emotional disorders, he has appeared frequently on <i>Today</i>, <i>Good Morning America</i>, and <i>Good Day New York</i>.</p>","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/9640"}}],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/books/"}},"collections":[],"articleAds":{"footerAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;stress&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9781118523926&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f8001b92\"></div></div>","rightAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_right_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_right_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;stress&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9781118523926&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f8002368\"></div></div>"},"articleType":{"articleType":"Cheat Sheet","articleList":[{"articleId":167178,"title":"How to Measure Your Stress","slug":"how-to-measure-your-stress","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/167178"}},{"articleId":167177,"title":"Identifying Common Thinking Errors that Increase Stress","slug":"identifying-common-thinking-errors-that-increase-stress","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/167177"}},{"articleId":167184,"title":"How to Manage Stress with Imagination","slug":"how-to-manage-stress-with-imagination","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/167184"}},{"articleId":167179,"title":"How to Control Stress through Tensing and Relaxing Your Muscles","slug":"how-to-control-stress-through-tensing-and-relaxing-your-muscles","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/167179"}}],"content":[{"title":"How to measure your stress","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Recognizing stress symptoms and how often they occur can help you deal with stress. Use the previous two weeks<b><i> </i></b>as your timeframe and record the occurrence of the physical and emotional signs and symptoms of stress in the table below.</p>\n<p>After identifying your stress symptoms and how often they occur, use the stress rating scale to find your score. If your score is high, or if you are experiencing any of the symptoms below with increased frequency or severity, there may be other factors besides stress that are involved.</p>\n<p>You may want to consult with your family physician and let them determine the best way to help you manage these symptoms.</p>\n<h2>Stress symptom scale</h2>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">0 = Never</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">1 = Sometimes</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">2 = Often</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">3 = Very often</p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Fatigue or tiredness</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Pounding heart</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Excessive drinking</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Rapid pulse</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Excessive smoking</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Increased perspiration</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Excessive spending</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Rapid breathing</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Excessive drug or medication use</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Aching neck or shoulders</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Feelings of upset</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Low back pain</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Feelings of nervousness or anxiety</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Gritted teeth or clenched jaw</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Increased irritability</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Hives or skin rash</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Worrisome thoughts</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Headaches</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Impatience</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Cold hands or feet</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Feelings of sadness</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Tightness in chest</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Loss of sexual interest</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Nausea</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Feelings of anger</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Diarrhea or constipation</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Sleep difficulties</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Stomach discomfort</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Forgetfulness</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Nail biting</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Racing or intrusive thoughts</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Twitches or tics</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Feelings of restlessness</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Difficulty swallowing or dry mouth</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Difficulty concentrating</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Colds or flu</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Periods of crying</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Lack of energy</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Frequent absences from work</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>____</td>\n<td>Overeating</td>\n<td>____</td>\n<td><b>Your total</b> <b>s</b><b>tress-</b><b>s</b><b>ymptom</b><br />\n<b>s</b><b>core</b></td>\n</tr>\n</tbody>\n</table>\n</li>\n</ul>\n<h2>Your stress rating</h2>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<th>Your Score</th>\n<th>Your Comparative Rating</th>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>0–19</td>\n<td>Lower than average</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>20–39</td>\n<td>Average</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>40–49</td>\n<td>Moderately higher than average</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>50 and above</td>\n<td>Much higher than average</td>\n</tr>\n</tbody>\n</table>\n"},{"title":"Identifying common thinking errors that increase stress","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Your thinking plays a bigger role in creating your stress than you might imagine. How you look at potentially stressful events or situations can result in greater stress, less stress, or even no stress.</p>\n<p>The important skill you need to master is knowing how to identify your stress-producing thoughts and how to change the way you think. The key here is recognizing your <i>thinking errors.</i></p>\n<p>Your thinking errors capture the negative, distorting elements in the way you see your world, others, and even yourself. Once you&#8217;ve identified an error, the next step is correcting that error. You re-frame the situation or event, bringing a more sensible you into the picture.</p>\n<p>Following, are some important thinking errors to spot and correct.</p>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Catastrophizing and awfulizing:</b> Exaggerating the importance of a situation or event and its impact on you. Put as simply as possible, catastrophizing and awfulizing is making a mountain out of a molehill.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Can&#8217;t-stand-it-itis:</b> Emotionally exaggerating an &#8220;I don&#8217;t like it&#8221; into something you feel is intolerable. You&#8217;re exaggerating your inability to cope with a situation.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>What-if-ing:</b> Worrying about something that has a low probability of happening (usually accompanied by some form of catastrophizing and awfulizing).</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Overgeneralizing:</b> Taking a single instance of something negative and applying that belief to a much larger group or process. The key words often heard here are &#8220;always,&#8221; &#8220;never,&#8221; &#8220;nobody,&#8221; &#8220;everybody,&#8221; and so on.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Mind reading and conclusion jumping:</b> Thinking you know what others are thinking or coming to a conclusion about something without enough evidence.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Comparativitis:</b> Comparing yourself unfavorably to others and putting yourself down, and possibly resenting the other person. It&#8217;s normal to make comparisons. What&#8217;s stressful is turning a comparison into a thought that makes you feel upset, angry, anxious, or depressed.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Personalizing:</b> Blaming yourself, unreasonably, for the actions of others.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Emotional reasoning:</b> Letting your feelings alone interpret the reality of a situation.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Filtering:</b> Focusing on the negatives and disregarding the positives.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Magnifying/Minimizing: </b>Exaggerating or minimizing aspects of a situation or circumstance, either blowing them out of proportion or minimizing their importance.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Should-ing: </b>Demanding in an absolute way that the world and others in it must be more like you or live up to your expectations.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Self-rating:</b> Rating your entire self-worth on the basis of a trait, ability, or performance, or making your self-worth dependent on the approval of others.</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n"},{"title":"How to manage stress with imagination","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Stressed? Imagine that. You&#8217;ll probably feel better if you can release that stress-producing thought and replace it with a relaxing, calm image. Here&#8217;s how to put your mind at ease:</p>\n<ol class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Find a place where you won&#8217;t be disturbed for a few minutes and get comfortable, either sitting in a favorite chair or lying down.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Think of an image — a place, a scene, a memory — that relaxes you.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">Use all your senses to bring that imagined scene to life. Ask yourself: What can I see? What can I hear? What can I smell? What can I feel? What can I taste?</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Let yourself become completely immersed in your image, allowing it to relax you completely.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">Use your breathing as a tool to help you deepen your relaxation. Simply breathe more slowly and more deeply.</p>\n</li>\n</ol>\n"},{"title":"How to control stress through tensing and relaxing your muscles","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Looking for a way to control stress? Progressive relaxation, which involves systematically tensing and relaxing your muscles, is a healthful way to release muscle tension and a proven approach to a more relaxed, less stressful state. Follow these steps for a calmer, more collected you:</p>\n<ol class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Lie down or sit, as comfortably as you can, and close your eyes.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">Find a quiet, dimly lit place that gives you some privacy, at least for a while.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Tense the muscles of a particular body part.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">Begin by simply making a fist. As you clench your fist, notice the tension and strain in your hand and forearm. Without releasing that tension, bend your right arm and flex your biceps, making a muscle the way you might to impress the kids in the schoolyard.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">Don&#8217;t strain yourself in any of these muscle-tensing maneuvers; don&#8217;t overdo<br />\nit. When you tense a muscle group, don&#8217;t tense as hard as you can. Tense about three-quarters of what you can do. If you feel pain or soreness, ease up on the tension, and if you still hurt, defer your practice till another time.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Hold the tension in the body part for about seven seconds.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Let go of the tension quickly, letting the muscles go limp.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">Notice the difference in how your hand and arm feel. Notice the difference between sensations of tension and relaxation. Let these feelings of relaxation deepen for about 30 seconds.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Repeat Steps 1 through 4, using the same muscle group.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Move to another muscle group.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">Simply repeat Steps 1 through 4, substituting a different muscle group each time. Continue with your left hand and arm, and then work your way through other major muscle groups.</p>\n</li>\n</ol>\n"}],"videoInfo":{"videoId":null,"name":null,"accountId":null,"playerId":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"description":null,"uploadDate":null}},"sponsorship":{"sponsorshipPage":false,"backgroundImage":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0},"brandingLine":"","brandingLink":"","brandingLogo":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0}},"primaryLearningPath":"Solve","lifeExpectancy":"Five years","lifeExpectancySetFrom":"2022-04-12T00:00:00+00:00","dummiesForKids":"no","sponsoredContent":"no","adInfo":"","adPairKey":[]},"status":"publish","visibility":"public","articleId":207983},{"headers":{"creationTime":"2016-03-26T19:48:00+00:00","modifiedTime":"2022-04-08T20:38:32+00:00","timestamp":"2022-06-22T19:37:35+00:00"},"data":{"breadcrumbs":[{"name":"Body, Mind, & Spirit","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34038"},"slug":"body-mind-spirit","categoryId":34038},{"name":"Emotional Health & Psychology","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34039"},"slug":"emotional-health-psychology","categoryId":34039},{"name":"Emotional Health","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34040"},"slug":"emotional-health","categoryId":34040},{"name":"Life Coaching","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34046"},"slug":"life-coaching","categoryId":34046}],"title":"How to Get to Grips through Life Coaching","strippedTitle":"how to get to grips through life coaching","slug":"how-to-get-to-grips-through-life-coaching","canonicalUrl":"","seo":{"metaDescription":"People talk lots of hokum about life coaching. Life coaching television programmes, magazines and newspaper columns range in quality from the powerful and inspi","noIndex":0,"noFollow":0},"content":"<p>People talk lots of hokum about life coaching. Life coaching television programmes, magazines and newspaper columns range in quality from the powerful and inspirational through to the downright misleading and dangerous. </p>\r\n<p>True life coaching isn’t about some guru telling you how you should live. Yes, you may be tempted to bask in the comfort of an expert who can fix your life, your fashion sense, your body flaws and your emotional angst. But these fixes are too often like an elegant sticking plaster.</p>\r\n<p class=\"Remember\">Changes don’t last, unless a real change has come from deep within you. True life coaching enables you to call on your very own inner guru, any time, any place, with or without the support of another human being.</p>\r\n<h2 id=\"tab1\" >Think of yourself as a unique person</h2>\r\n<p>Instead of thinking about your good points and bad points, consider the question: ‘What are my unique qualities?’ That’s a very different kind of question, even though to answer it you think about many of the same traits. The whole focus of the question is on what makes you uniquely <i>you</i>. It’s a lot easier to be confident about the positives and stay more objective about the rest.</p>\r\n<p>Seen from this perspective, <i>everything </i>about who you are is key to being your best self. Instead of worrying about your weaknesses, you can begin to think in terms of your opportunities to develop what you like about yourself and what works for you, and to change the stuff about you that gets in your own way. </p>\r\n<p>A character trait that you may think of as a weakness may turn out to be one of your biggest strengths, when you find out how to apply it in the right way. Two of the basic life-coaching truths support the idea that you’re already good enough – ‘You are resourceful’ and ‘You are already capable of much more than you know’.</p>\r\n<h2 id=\"tab2\" >Don't worry; be happy!</h2>\r\n<p>Happiness is no laughing matter; in fact, it’s a serious business! Take a moment to think about the reason behind all that you do. You set goals for better health, wealth, a great career and brilliant relationships. Why do you do all of that? Chances are, it’s because you believe that attaining these goals will make you happier, or at least enhance your current level of happiness.</p>\r\n<p>Even truly altruistic goals – where you make a contribution to the world and to others, perhaps at some personal cost – still contribute significantly to your feelings of happiness.</p>\r\n<p>The best goals make you feel happy by a combination of a great outcome that really motivates you and a process of getting there that is, at least in part, an enjoyable one. Even so, happiness can still be elusive and fleeting. Things that you think should make you happy sometimes don’t, and you can find true happiness in unexpected places.</p>","description":"<p>People talk lots of hokum about life coaching. Life coaching television programmes, magazines and newspaper columns range in quality from the powerful and inspirational through to the downright misleading and dangerous. </p>\r\n<p>True life coaching isn’t about some guru telling you how you should live. Yes, you may be tempted to bask in the comfort of an expert who can fix your life, your fashion sense, your body flaws and your emotional angst. But these fixes are too often like an elegant sticking plaster.</p>\r\n<p class=\"Remember\">Changes don’t last, unless a real change has come from deep within you. True life coaching enables you to call on your very own inner guru, any time, any place, with or without the support of another human being.</p>\r\n<h2 id=\"tab1\" >Think of yourself as a unique person</h2>\r\n<p>Instead of thinking about your good points and bad points, consider the question: ‘What are my unique qualities?’ That’s a very different kind of question, even though to answer it you think about many of the same traits. The whole focus of the question is on what makes you uniquely <i>you</i>. It’s a lot easier to be confident about the positives and stay more objective about the rest.</p>\r\n<p>Seen from this perspective, <i>everything </i>about who you are is key to being your best self. Instead of worrying about your weaknesses, you can begin to think in terms of your opportunities to develop what you like about yourself and what works for you, and to change the stuff about you that gets in your own way. </p>\r\n<p>A character trait that you may think of as a weakness may turn out to be one of your biggest strengths, when you find out how to apply it in the right way. Two of the basic life-coaching truths support the idea that you’re already good enough – ‘You are resourceful’ and ‘You are already capable of much more than you know’.</p>\r\n<h2 id=\"tab2\" >Don't worry; be happy!</h2>\r\n<p>Happiness is no laughing matter; in fact, it’s a serious business! Take a moment to think about the reason behind all that you do. You set goals for better health, wealth, a great career and brilliant relationships. Why do you do all of that? Chances are, it’s because you believe that attaining these goals will make you happier, or at least enhance your current level of happiness.</p>\r\n<p>Even truly altruistic goals – where you make a contribution to the world and to others, perhaps at some personal cost – still contribute significantly to your feelings of happiness.</p>\r\n<p>The best goals make you feel happy by a combination of a great outcome that really motivates you and a process of getting there that is, at least in part, an enjoyable one. Even so, happiness can still be elusive and fleeting. Things that you think should make you happy sometimes don’t, and you can find true happiness in unexpected places.</p>","blurb":"","authors":[{"authorId":10097,"name":"Jeni Purdie","slug":"jeni-purdie","description":" <p><b>Jeni Purdie &#40;formerly Mumford&#41;</b> is a personal life coach who works with individuals and within organisations to facilitate personal growth, greater happiness and authentic success. 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years","lifeExpectancySetFrom":"2022-04-08T00:00:00+00:00","dummiesForKids":"no","sponsoredContent":"no","adInfo":"","adPairKey":[]},"status":"publish","visibility":"public","articleId":184615},{"headers":{"creationTime":"2016-03-27T16:57:32+00:00","modifiedTime":"2022-04-08T20:25:41+00:00","timestamp":"2022-06-22T19:37:35+00:00"},"data":{"breadcrumbs":[{"name":"Body, Mind, & Spirit","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34038"},"slug":"body-mind-spirit","categoryId":34038},{"name":"Emotional Health & Psychology","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34039"},"slug":"emotional-health-psychology","categoryId":34039},{"name":"Emotional Health","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34040"},"slug":"emotional-health","categoryId":34040},{"name":"Life Coaching","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34046"},"slug":"life-coaching","categoryId":34046}],"title":"Life Coaching For Dummies Cheat 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Your inner coach supports you in the following ways:</p>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Encourages you to set challenging and inspiring goals for your life that are in tune with your values</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Believes you can do it!</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Expects the best from you and knows you can meet that expectation</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Explores options with you</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Helps to generate action steps that work for you</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Keeps you moving forwards</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Celebrates your accomplishments along the way</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Delights in the positive results you get for yourself</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n"},{"title":"Achieving your life coaching goals","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>SMARTEN UP your goal setting to ensure the best life coaching results. 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Your life is a balance of <i>doing</i> (from everyday chores to running marathons), <i>having</i> (material possessions as well as intangible things like love and security) and <i>being</i> (the core of you). Take stock of your current and ideal life by asking yourself the following questions.</p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/165468.image0.jpg\" alt=\"image0.jpg\" width=\"498\" height=\"261\" /></p>\n"}],"videoInfo":{"videoId":null,"name":null,"accountId":null,"playerId":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"description":null,"uploadDate":null}},"sponsorship":{"sponsorshipPage":false,"backgroundImage":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0},"brandingLine":"","brandingLink":"","brandingLogo":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0}},"primaryLearningPath":"Explore","lifeExpectancy":"Five years","lifeExpectancySetFrom":"2022-04-08T00:00:00+00:00","dummiesForKids":"no","sponsoredContent":"no","adInfo":"","adPairKey":[]},"status":"publish","visibility":"public","articleId":209290},{"headers":{"creationTime":"2016-03-28T14:35:16+00:00","modifiedTime":"2022-04-01T18:23:09+00:00","timestamp":"2022-06-22T19:37:33+00:00"},"data":{"breadcrumbs":[{"name":"Body, Mind, & Spirit","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34038"},"slug":"body-mind-spirit","categoryId":34038},{"name":"Emotional Health & Psychology","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34039"},"slug":"emotional-health-psychology","categoryId":34039},{"name":"Emotional Health","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34040"},"slug":"emotional-health","categoryId":34040},{"name":"Stress","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34050"},"slug":"stress","categoryId":34050}],"title":"Cope with Stress by Having a Talk with Yourself","strippedTitle":"cope with stress by having a talk with yourself","slug":"cope-with-stress-by-having-a-talk-with-yourself","canonicalUrl":"","seo":{"metaDescription":"Listen to this guided meditation and master the art of talking to yourself, an often underrated practice but an excellent way to de-stress.","noIndex":0,"noFollow":0},"content":"<div class=\"x2 x2-top\">\r\n\r\n<div class=\"video-player-organism\"></div>\r\n\r\n</div>\r\nWhen you find yourself in a stressful situation, having a simple dialog with yourself can de-escalate the situation, take away your anxiety and stress, and help you cope. 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Nationally known for his expertise in the field of stress and emotional disorders, he has appeared frequently on <i>Today</i>, <i>Good Morning America</i>, and <i>Good Day New York</i>.</p>","authors":[{"authorId":9640,"name":"Allen Elkin","slug":"allen-elkin","description":" <p><b>Allen Elkin</b>, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and the director of The Stress Management &amp; Counseling Center in New York City. Nationally known for his expertise in the field of stress and emotional disorders, he has appeared frequently on <i>Today</i>, <i>Good Morning America</i>, and <i>Good Day New York</i>.</p>","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/9640"}}],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/books/"}},"collections":[{"title":"For the Exam-Season Crammer","slug":"for-the-exam-season-crammer","collectionId":291934}],"articleAds":{"footerAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;stress&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9781118523926&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f7d9ba4f\"></div></div>","rightAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_right_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_right_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;stress&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9781118523926&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f7d9c1d9\"></div></div>"},"articleType":{"articleType":"Videos","articleList":null,"content":null,"videoInfo":{"videoId":"2363274279001","name":"Cope with Stress by Having a Talk with Yourself","accountId":"622696558001","playerId":"default","thumbnailUrl":"http://f1.media.brightcove.com/8/622696558001/622696558001_5462998233001_2363274279001-th.jpg?pubId=622696558001&videoId=2363274279001","description":"When you find yourself in a stressful situation, having a simple dialog with yourself can de-escalate the situation, take away your anxiety and stress, and help you cope.","uploadDate":"2017-06-07T17:41:53.983Z"}},"sponsorship":{"sponsorshipPage":false,"backgroundImage":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0},"brandingLine":"","brandingLink":"","brandingLogo":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0}},"primaryLearningPath":"Solve","lifeExpectancy":"One year","lifeExpectancySetFrom":"2022-04-01T00:00:00+00:00","dummiesForKids":"no","sponsoredContent":"no","adInfo":"","adPairKey":[]},"status":"publish","visibility":"public","articleId":209957},{"headers":{"creationTime":"2016-03-26T14:34:19+00:00","modifiedTime":"2022-04-01T14:14:09+00:00","timestamp":"2022-06-22T19:37:33+00:00"},"data":{"breadcrumbs":[{"name":"Body, Mind, & Spirit","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34038"},"slug":"body-mind-spirit","categoryId":34038},{"name":"Emotional Health & Psychology","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34039"},"slug":"emotional-health-psychology","categoryId":34039},{"name":"Emotional Health","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34040"},"slug":"emotional-health","categoryId":34040},{"name":"Anger Management","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34041"},"slug":"anger-management","categoryId":34041}],"title":"12 Steps to Using Anger Constructively","strippedTitle":"12 steps to using anger constructively","slug":"12-steps-to-using-anger-constructively","canonicalUrl":"","seo":{"metaDescription":"Learn how to deal with your anger in mature, constructive ways, which will lead to better outcomes for yourself and the people around you.","noIndex":0,"noFollow":0},"content":"Through appropriate anger management techniques, you can use your anger as a motivator to make positive changes around you. Constructive anger involves these two things:\r\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Deciding where it is you want your anger to take you.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Arriving at that destination through a step-by-step process.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nBefore you begin, remind yourself of the following things:\r\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">I need to reason through my anger.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">I need to put my anger into perspective.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">I can’t do a thing about <a href=\"https://www.dummies.com/article/body-mind-spirit/emotional-health-psychology/emotional-health/anger-management/how-to-identify-your-anger-triggers-141934/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">what has happened to provoke my anger</a>.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">The situation that made me angry should be rectified.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">I need to find other ways to express my anger.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<h2 id=\"tab1\" >Step 1: Decide how you want to feel after you get angry</h2>\r\nHow you use anger is a choice. If you choose to use anger constructively you’ll generally expect that, after you finish expressing your anger, you <i>will:</i>\r\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Have a better understanding of the person with whom you had the angry exchange.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Feel better about that other person.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Feel closer to resolving issues between you and the other person.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Realize that things were never as bad as you initially thought they were when you first became angry.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Feel that both parties came away feeling like something good happened.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Have less conflict in the future.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nOn the other hand, if you choose to use your anger <i>destructively,</i> you should expect the opposite outcomes — more conflict in the future, more tension between you and the other person, and so on.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab2\" >Step 2: Acknowledge your anger</h2>\r\nA simple statement will suffice. What you want to do is give a heads-up to the other party in the conversation, letting them know that emotions are in play here and that the emotion you’re feeling is anger.\r\n<p class=\"Remember\">It’s not enough just to acknowledge to <i>yourself</i> that you’re angry — you have to articulate that feeling to the person you’re angry with.</p>\r\n\r\n<h2 id=\"tab3\" >Step 3: Focus your anger on the problem, not the person</h2>\r\nFocus on the issue that triggered your anger, not the person on the other side of that issue. When you begin to personalize anger, your anger will invariably turn vengeful.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab4\" >Step 4: Identify the source of the anger</h2>\r\nThis step is an easy one. Why? Because the source of all your anger is <i>you!</i><i> </i>All your emotions are a reflection of yourself.\r\n\r\nRight away, as you internalize the source of your anger, you begin to feel more in control of your anger. Now, the question is: Do you alter your expectations of that other person or do you clarify for them what those expectations are and what will happen if your expectations aren’t met?\r\n<h2 id=\"tab5\" >Step 5: Accept that the problem that made you angry can be solved</h2>\r\nFixing <i>problems</i> is much easier than fixing <i>people.</i> What you have is a problem situation. Try to remain optimistic. Be open-minded. Don’t be afraid to try new solutions when the old ones don’t work.\r\n<p class=\"Tip\">If you can’t think of any new possible solutions, talk to someone else about it and see what that person suggests. After you come up with a new strategy, use it the next time you’re in this situation.</p>\r\n\r\n<h2 id=\"tab6\" >Step 6: Try to see things from the other person’s perspective</h2>\r\nAnger is so subjective that it’s hard to see past it, to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. But seeing the situation from the other person’s perspective is one of the most essential steps in using anger constructively.\r\n\r\nThe easiest way to understand why the other person thinks, feels, or acts the way she does is to invite their input. If you don’t give the other person an opportunity to tell you where she’s coming from, you’re left to speculate — and odds are, you’ll guess incorrectly.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab7\" >Step 7: Co-op the other party</h2>\r\nEnlist the cooperation of the person you’re angry with in resolving the problem. The minute you begin to share the responsibility of resolving an anger-producing problem, the intensity of your anger decreases.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab8\" >Step 8: Keep a civil tone throughout</h2>\r\nWhat you say in anger isn’t what causes problems — it’s the tone in which you say it. If you can keep a civil tone to your conversation, you’ll find that actively listening to the person with whom you’re angry is easier — it’s also easier to get your message across to that person. Lowering your tone will in turn cause him to lower his.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab9\" >Step 9: Avoid disrespectful behavior</h2>\r\nClearly, there are some things — gestures, behaviors — you need to avoid if you’re going to use anger constructively.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab10\" >Step 10: Don’t be afraid to take a timeout if you start to feel angry and resume the discussion later</h2>\r\nDon’t be afraid to say to the other person, “I think we’ve gone as far as we can with this issue right now, but I really think we should continue our discussion at a later date. Do you agree?” Some issues take longer to solve than others.\r\n<p class=\"Remember\">This strategy only works if you actually do resume the discussion later. Otherwise, all your constructive efforts were in vain!</p>\r\n\r\n<h2 id=\"tab11\" >Step 11: Make it a two-way conversation</h2>\r\nWhen it comes to addressing your anger in a constructive way, you have to let the other person have a turn, too. Vengeful anger and simply “letting off steam” don’t involve the other party except as the object of your wrath. You’re trying to do something different in this case.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab12\" >Step 12: Acknowledge that you’ve made progress</h2>\r\nOld bad habits like vengeful anger die hard. So, if you’re trying to begin using anger more constructively, it’s important to acknowledge when progress is being made anywhere along the way. Then ask the other person if they agree that progress has been made.\r\n\r\nYou hope, of course, that they say yes. But if they don’t, that’s okay. Maybe they’ll change their mind in the future. (Most important, don’t get mad just because they don’t agree with you!)","description":"Through appropriate anger management techniques, you can use your anger as a motivator to make positive changes around you. Constructive anger involves these two things:\r\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Deciding where it is you want your anger to take you.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Arriving at that destination through a step-by-step process.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nBefore you begin, remind yourself of the following things:\r\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">I need to reason through my anger.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">I need to put my anger into perspective.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">I can’t do a thing about <a href=\"https://www.dummies.com/article/body-mind-spirit/emotional-health-psychology/emotional-health/anger-management/how-to-identify-your-anger-triggers-141934/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">what has happened to provoke my anger</a>.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">The situation that made me angry should be rectified.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">I need to find other ways to express my anger.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<h2 id=\"tab1\" >Step 1: Decide how you want to feel after you get angry</h2>\r\nHow you use anger is a choice. If you choose to use anger constructively you’ll generally expect that, after you finish expressing your anger, you <i>will:</i>\r\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Have a better understanding of the person with whom you had the angry exchange.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Feel better about that other person.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Feel closer to resolving issues between you and the other person.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Realize that things were never as bad as you initially thought they were when you first became angry.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Feel that both parties came away feeling like something good happened.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n \t<li>\r\n<p class=\"first-para\">Have less conflict in the future.</p>\r\n</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nOn the other hand, if you choose to use your anger <i>destructively,</i> you should expect the opposite outcomes — more conflict in the future, more tension between you and the other person, and so on.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab2\" >Step 2: Acknowledge your anger</h2>\r\nA simple statement will suffice. What you want to do is give a heads-up to the other party in the conversation, letting them know that emotions are in play here and that the emotion you’re feeling is anger.\r\n<p class=\"Remember\">It’s not enough just to acknowledge to <i>yourself</i> that you’re angry — you have to articulate that feeling to the person you’re angry with.</p>\r\n\r\n<h2 id=\"tab3\" >Step 3: Focus your anger on the problem, not the person</h2>\r\nFocus on the issue that triggered your anger, not the person on the other side of that issue. When you begin to personalize anger, your anger will invariably turn vengeful.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab4\" >Step 4: Identify the source of the anger</h2>\r\nThis step is an easy one. Why? Because the source of all your anger is <i>you!</i><i> </i>All your emotions are a reflection of yourself.\r\n\r\nRight away, as you internalize the source of your anger, you begin to feel more in control of your anger. Now, the question is: Do you alter your expectations of that other person or do you clarify for them what those expectations are and what will happen if your expectations aren’t met?\r\n<h2 id=\"tab5\" >Step 5: Accept that the problem that made you angry can be solved</h2>\r\nFixing <i>problems</i> is much easier than fixing <i>people.</i> What you have is a problem situation. Try to remain optimistic. Be open-minded. Don’t be afraid to try new solutions when the old ones don’t work.\r\n<p class=\"Tip\">If you can’t think of any new possible solutions, talk to someone else about it and see what that person suggests. After you come up with a new strategy, use it the next time you’re in this situation.</p>\r\n\r\n<h2 id=\"tab6\" >Step 6: Try to see things from the other person’s perspective</h2>\r\nAnger is so subjective that it’s hard to see past it, to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. But seeing the situation from the other person’s perspective is one of the most essential steps in using anger constructively.\r\n\r\nThe easiest way to understand why the other person thinks, feels, or acts the way she does is to invite their input. If you don’t give the other person an opportunity to tell you where she’s coming from, you’re left to speculate — and odds are, you’ll guess incorrectly.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab7\" >Step 7: Co-op the other party</h2>\r\nEnlist the cooperation of the person you’re angry with in resolving the problem. The minute you begin to share the responsibility of resolving an anger-producing problem, the intensity of your anger decreases.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab8\" >Step 8: Keep a civil tone throughout</h2>\r\nWhat you say in anger isn’t what causes problems — it’s the tone in which you say it. If you can keep a civil tone to your conversation, you’ll find that actively listening to the person with whom you’re angry is easier — it’s also easier to get your message across to that person. Lowering your tone will in turn cause him to lower his.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab9\" >Step 9: Avoid disrespectful behavior</h2>\r\nClearly, there are some things — gestures, behaviors — you need to avoid if you’re going to use anger constructively.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab10\" >Step 10: Don’t be afraid to take a timeout if you start to feel angry and resume the discussion later</h2>\r\nDon’t be afraid to say to the other person, “I think we’ve gone as far as we can with this issue right now, but I really think we should continue our discussion at a later date. Do you agree?” Some issues take longer to solve than others.\r\n<p class=\"Remember\">This strategy only works if you actually do resume the discussion later. Otherwise, all your constructive efforts were in vain!</p>\r\n\r\n<h2 id=\"tab11\" >Step 11: Make it a two-way conversation</h2>\r\nWhen it comes to addressing your anger in a constructive way, you have to let the other person have a turn, too. Vengeful anger and simply “letting off steam” don’t involve the other party except as the object of your wrath. You’re trying to do something different in this case.\r\n<h2 id=\"tab12\" >Step 12: Acknowledge that you’ve made progress</h2>\r\nOld bad habits like vengeful anger die hard. So, if you’re trying to begin using anger more constructively, it’s important to acknowledge when progress is being made anywhere along the way. Then ask the other person if they agree that progress has been made.\r\n\r\nYou hope, of course, that they say yes. But if they don’t, that’s okay. Maybe they’ll change their mind in the future. (Most important, don’t get mad just because they don’t agree with you!)","blurb":"","authors":[],"primaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":34041,"title":"Anger Management","slug":"anger-management","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34041"}},"secondaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":0,"title":null,"slug":null,"_links":null},"tertiaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":0,"title":null,"slug":null,"_links":null},"trendingArticles":null,"inThisArticle":[{"label":"Step 1: Decide how you want to feel after you get angry","target":"#tab1"},{"label":"Step 2: Acknowledge your anger","target":"#tab2"},{"label":"Step 3: Focus your anger on the problem, not the person","target":"#tab3"},{"label":"Step 4: Identify the source of the anger","target":"#tab4"},{"label":"Step 5: Accept that the problem that made you angry can be solved","target":"#tab5"},{"label":"Step 6: Try to see things from the other person’s perspective","target":"#tab6"},{"label":"Step 7: Co-op the other party","target":"#tab7"},{"label":"Step 8: Keep a civil tone throughout","target":"#tab8"},{"label":"Step 9: Avoid disrespectful behavior","target":"#tab9"},{"label":"Step 10: Don’t be afraid to take a timeout if you start to feel angry and resume the discussion later","target":"#tab10"},{"label":"Step 11: Make it a two-way conversation","target":"#tab11"},{"label":"Step 12: Acknowledge that you’ve made progress","target":"#tab12"}],"relatedArticles":{"fromBook":[],"fromCategory":[{"articleId":207529,"title":"Anger Management For Dummies Cheat Sheet","slug":"anger-management-for-dummies-cheat-sheet","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anger-management"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/207529"}},{"articleId":200394,"title":"Examining the Pros and Cons of Anger","slug":"examining-the-pros-and-cons-of-anger","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anger-management"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/200394"}},{"articleId":199866,"title":"Making Anger Your Ally","slug":"making-anger-your-ally","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anger-management"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/199866"}},{"articleId":199372,"title":"Dispelling Common Anger Myths","slug":"dispelling-common-anger-myths","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anger-management"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/199372"}},{"articleId":198867,"title":"Using Imagery to Move beyond Anger","slug":"using-imagery-to-move-beyond-anger","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anger-management"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/198867"}}]},"hasRelatedBookFromSearch":false,"relatedBook":{"bookId":0,"slug":null,"isbn":null,"categoryList":null,"amazon":null,"image":null,"title":null,"testBankPinActivationLink":null,"bookOutOfPrint":false,"authorsInfo":null,"authors":null,"_links":null},"collections":[],"articleAds":{"footerAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;anger-management&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[null]}]\" 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years","lifeExpectancySetFrom":"2021-06-27T00:00:00+00:00","dummiesForKids":"no","sponsoredContent":"no","adInfo":"","adPairKey":[]},"status":"publish","visibility":"public","articleId":163718},{"headers":{"creationTime":"2021-03-17T15:49:52+00:00","modifiedTime":"2022-03-28T19:02:53+00:00","timestamp":"2022-06-22T19:37:32+00:00"},"data":{"breadcrumbs":[{"name":"Body, Mind, & Spirit","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34038"},"slug":"body-mind-spirit","categoryId":34038},{"name":"Emotional Health & Psychology","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34039"},"slug":"emotional-health-psychology","categoryId":34039},{"name":"Emotional Health","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34040"},"slug":"emotional-health","categoryId":34040},{"name":"Stress","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34050"},"slug":"stress","categoryId":34050}],"title":"Resilience For Dummies Cheat Sheet","strippedTitle":"resilience for dummies cheat sheet","slug":"resilience-for-dummies-cheat-sheet","canonicalUrl":"","seo":{"metaDescription":"Discover how you can become a more resilient person who sees challenges as opportunities and successfully adapts to adversity.","noIndex":0,"noFollow":0},"content":"Life isn't always easy, and how you deal with difficult situations can make or break your life. Achieving resilience doesn't require extraordinary ability. Resilient people see challenges as opportunities, maintain a positive outlook, find meaning in the struggle, and successfully adapt to adversity. If these skills don’t come naturally to you, you can develop them. Humans are innately wired to adapt to difficulty. The key is to be able to tap into this wiring by practicing behaviors, habits, and strategies that help us to thrive.\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_283126\" align=\"alignnone\" width=\"556\"]<img class=\"size-full wp-image-283126\" src=\"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/resilience-concept.jpg\" alt=\"resilience\" width=\"556\" height=\"304\" /> © retro67 / Shutterstock.com[/caption]","description":"Life isn't always easy, and how you deal with difficult situations can make or break your life. Achieving resilience doesn't require extraordinary ability. Resilient people see challenges as opportunities, maintain a positive outlook, find meaning in the struggle, and successfully adapt to adversity. If these skills don’t come naturally to you, you can develop them. Humans are innately wired to adapt to difficulty. The key is to be able to tap into this wiring by practicing behaviors, habits, and strategies that help us to thrive.\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_283126\" align=\"alignnone\" width=\"556\"]<img class=\"size-full wp-image-283126\" src=\"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/resilience-concept.jpg\" alt=\"resilience\" width=\"556\" height=\"304\" /> © retro67 / Shutterstock.com[/caption]","blurb":"","authors":[],"primaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":34050,"title":"Stress","slug":"stress","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34050"}},"secondaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":0,"title":null,"slug":null,"_links":null},"tertiaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":0,"title":null,"slug":null,"_links":null},"trendingArticles":null,"inThisArticle":[],"relatedArticles":{"fromBook":[{"articleId":284925,"title":"The 6 Pillars of Resilience","slug":"the-6-pillars-of-resilience","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/284925"}},{"articleId":284920,"title":"What Resilience Is Not","slug":"what-resilience-is-not","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/284920"}},{"articleId":284915,"title":"What Determines Resilience?","slug":"what-determines-resilience","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/284915"}}],"fromCategory":[{"articleId":284925,"title":"The 6 Pillars of Resilience","slug":"the-6-pillars-of-resilience","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/284925"}},{"articleId":284920,"title":"What Resilience Is Not","slug":"what-resilience-is-not","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/284920"}},{"articleId":284915,"title":"What Determines Resilience?","slug":"what-determines-resilience","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/284915"}},{"articleId":209958,"title":"Reduce Stress and Anxiety: A Guided Relaxation Exercise","slug":"reduce-stress-and-anxiety-a-guided-relaxation-exercise","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/209958"}},{"articleId":209957,"title":"Cope with Stress by Having a Talk with Yourself","slug":"cope-with-stress-by-having-a-talk-with-yourself","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/209957"}}]},"hasRelatedBookFromSearch":false,"relatedBook":{"bookId":282728,"slug":"resilience-for-dummies","isbn":"9781119773412","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","stress"],"amazon":{"default":"https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1119773415/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","ca":"https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/1119773415/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","indigo_ca":"http://www.tkqlhce.com/click-9208661-13710633?url=https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/product/1119773415-item.html&cjsku=978111945484","gb":"https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1119773415/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","de":"https://www.amazon.de/gp/product/1119773415/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20"},"image":{"src":"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/resilience-for-dummies-cover-9781119773412-203x255.jpg","width":203,"height":255},"title":"Resilience For Dummies","testBankPinActivationLink":"","bookOutOfPrint":true,"authorsInfo":"<p><b>Eva Selhub, MD</b> is a physician and resilience expert. She taught for 20 years as an instructor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School, and served as the medical director of the Benson Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at the Massachusetts General Hospital for six years.</p>","authors":[{"authorId":34804,"name":"Eva M. Selhub","slug":"eva-m.-selhub","description":" <p><b>Eva Selhub, MD</b> is a physician and resilience expert. She taught for 20 years as an instructor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School, and served as the medical director of the Benson Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at the Massachusetts General Hospital for six years.</p> ","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/34804"}}],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/books/"}},"collections":[],"articleAds":{"footerAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;stress&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9781119773412&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f7c55781\"></div></div>","rightAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_right_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_right_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;stress&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9781119773412&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f7c55efc\"></div></div>"},"articleType":{"articleType":"Cheat Sheet","articleList":[{"articleId":0,"title":"","slug":null,"categoryList":[],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/"}}],"content":[{"title":"Calming yourself with mindful breath","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Resilient people are able to successfully deal with adversity, and one of the tools they use is <a href=\"https://dummies-wp-content.dummies.com/religion/spirituality/mindfulness-audio-tracks/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">mindfulness</a>, or the practice of witnessing the present moment without judgment. You can use mindfulness to calm yourself when stressed. When you are in the moment, witnessing with wonder and awe and not thinking or worrying, your stress levels will drop, and you will be able to cope more effectively.</p>\n<p>For this exercise, you may want to sit or lie down. Whatever position you choose, ensure that you’re comfortable and that you can stay alert yet relaxed. Follow these steps:</p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Begin by breathing slowly, in and out.</strong></li>\n<li><strong>Count 1-2-3-4 as you breathe in, and then count 4-3-2-1 as you breathe out.</strong></li>\n<li><strong>Breathe in through your nose, and breathe out through your mouth.</strong></li>\n<li><strong>Let the breath simply flow without trying.</strong></li>\n<li><strong>Observe your experience of breathing.</strong> Notice the temperature of your breath as it moves in and out, the rising and falling of your chest, the expansion and contraction of your belly, and the way your lungs fill and the way they let go.</li>\n<li><strong>Allow your thoughts to rise and fall with your breath.</strong></li>\n<li><strong>Allow yourself to be aware of how the breath fills your body with life.</strong></li>\n<li><strong>Notice your connection with the breath of life.</strong></li>\n<li><strong>Notice how you aren’t holding on to anything, letting go with your breath.</strong></li>\n<li><strong>Simply observe your experience.</strong> Witness the breath of life filling your body and then being shared with the world.</li>\n</ol>\n"},{"title":"Decluttering your environment","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>To build and hold on to your resilience, you want to make the choice to find and create more balance. The environments you inhabit reflect and affect your physical, mental, and emotional health — and, therefore, your resilience. If your external world is messy and disorderly, it can have a negative impact on your mental and emotional health, on your coping behaviors, and on your time efficiency.</p>\n<p><a href=\"https://dummies-wp-content.dummies.com/home-garden/decluttering-for-dummies-cheat-sheet/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Decluttering</a> and creating more organization in your environment can help keep your mind clear, reduce your stress levels, create a feeling of more spaciousness, and, ultimately, enable you to feel more energized, capable, and resilient. These 10 steps can help you declutter:</p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Gather containers to put stuff in.</strong> Get yourself plenty of trash boxes, inexpensive containers, or bins in which to store things.</li>\n<li><strong>Set aside time.</strong> You might set aside 15 minutes a day to start and maybe more time on the weekends. You probably want to start with small blocks of time so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. You’re better off being consistent with your efforts over time than trying to do it all at once.</li>\n<li><strong>Start small.</strong> Start small and focus on one space at a time in a specific room. You might start with the drawer of a desk and then slowly move on to clear the entire desk, followed by the area surrounding the desk, the closets, and other cabinets, for example.</li>\n<li><strong>Completely pull everything out.</strong> Whether it’s a drawer, a closet, or the trunk of your car, pull everything out all at once. Clean the area thoroughly, and then begin sorting through the stuff.</li>\n<li><strong>Separate everything into piles.</strong> As you clear items, put them into one of five piles, labeled accordingly:\n<ul>\n<li><em>Trash:</em> It has to go—it’s not worth anything.</li>\n<li><em>Donate:</em> Give it to charity or give it to a friend: It has to go, and it’s worth something, so it should go to someone who can use it.</li>\n<li><em>Sell:</em> It has to go, but it’s worth a lot. Use this category only if you’re adept at selling things and you have the time to do it. Don’t even attempt to put things in this category if selling used items isn’t in your wheelhouse.</li>\n<li><em>Keep:</em> I need it or I love it.</li>\n<li><em>Not sure:</em> I can’t decide what to do with this item. I’ll set it aside for later.</li>\n</ul>\n</li>\n<li><strong>Put your Keep items back.</strong> The Keep pile can be split further into two piles — one for storage and one to use regularly. If it’s meant for storage, like your tax files, put it in labeled storage bins to be set aside in your designated storage area. Keep only the items that you know you need to store, like your taxes for the past seven years. If the paper is ten years old, chuck it. If it’s something you use regularly, place it back in the drawer, and so on.</li>\n<li><strong>If you don’t use it, let it go.</strong> If you love it but never use it, bless it and think about the person who will be grateful to have it and use it. Give it away. You can take a picture of it if you need, but if you really can’t let go, put it in a storage bin and label it.</li>\n<li><strong>Ask for help.</strong> You may be uncertain whether to keep or let go of specific items. When in doubt, get a second opinion by asking a friend or family member. You can always hire an organizing professional if you’re overwhelmed and confused. If you feel that you can’t let go of anything and suspect that you’re hoarding, seek help from a mental health professional.</li>\n<li><strong>Maintain upkeep.</strong> As you declutter and become more organized, make a concerted effort every day to keep it up. Here are some suggestions:\n<ul>\n<li>Set aside five to ten minutes a day to put away all stray items.</li>\n<li>Make a habit of cleaning dirty dishes.</li>\n<li>Clear your desk or even your computer desktop when you’re done using it.</li>\n<li>Keep a balanced karma in your closet. Basically, if you’re going to get something new, you give away something you have or get rid of it.</li>\n<li>Regularly shred papers you don’t need.</li>\n<li>Regularly file papers according to a labeling system that makes sense to you. Do the same with files on your computer.</li>\n<li>On your desk or where you do most of your work, designate an area where you keep the things you need for the current project you’re working on. Everything else should be stored away in your filing system.</li>\n<li>Regularly review your emails, delete old or unimportant ones, and create files for the ones you need for the future. Label them in levels of priority.</li>\n</ul>\n</li>\n<li><strong>Celebrate.</strong> Reward yourself when you have completed a big task, like fully organizing your desk, a closet, or an entire room. Treat yourself to a relaxing bath, massage, nurturing dinner, or fun event with friends. Organizing needs to be a balanced process, where you dig in and then take time to relax. Over time, this rhythm of organizing and then enjoying free time should become the habitual flow in your life.</li>\n</ol>\n"}],"videoInfo":{"videoId":null,"name":null,"accountId":null,"playerId":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"description":null,"uploadDate":null}},"sponsorship":{"sponsorshipPage":false,"backgroundImage":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0},"brandingLine":"","brandingLink":"","brandingLogo":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0}},"primaryLearningPath":"Explore","lifeExpectancy":"Five years","lifeExpectancySetFrom":"2022-03-28T00:00:00+00:00","dummiesForKids":"no","sponsoredContent":"no","adInfo":"","adPairKey":[]},"status":"publish","visibility":"public","articleId":283125},{"headers":{"creationTime":"2016-03-27T16:47:59+00:00","modifiedTime":"2022-03-21T16:51:20+00:00","timestamp":"2022-06-22T19:37:29+00:00"},"data":{"breadcrumbs":[{"name":"Body, Mind, & Spirit","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34038"},"slug":"body-mind-spirit","categoryId":34038},{"name":"Emotional Health & Psychology","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34039"},"slug":"emotional-health-psychology","categoryId":34039},{"name":"Emotional Health","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34040"},"slug":"emotional-health","categoryId":34040},{"name":"Happiness","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34045"},"slug":"happiness","categoryId":34045}],"title":"Happiness For Dummies Cheat Sheet","strippedTitle":"happiness for dummies cheat sheet","slug":"happiness-for-dummies-cheat-sheet","canonicalUrl":"","seo":{"metaDescription":"How do you know if you're happy? Are you as happy as most people? Discover how balancing your life is one way to achieve overall happiness.","noIndex":0,"noFollow":0},"content":"Happiness is an important part of life — no less than anger, sadness, and fear. But how do you know if you're happy? Are you as happy as most people? If you have lots of money or a fancy title at work, shouldn't that be enough to make you happy? Discover how balancing your life is one way to achieve overall happiness.","description":"Happiness is an important part of life — no less than anger, sadness, and fear. But how do you know if you're happy? Are you as happy as most people? If you have lots of money or a fancy title at work, shouldn't that be enough to make you happy? Discover how balancing your life is one way to achieve overall happiness.","blurb":"","authors":[{"authorId":9102,"name":"W. Doyle Gentry","slug":"w-doyle-gentry","description":"W. Doyle Gentry, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and director of the Institute for Anger-Free Living.","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/9102"}}],"primaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":34045,"title":"Happiness","slug":"happiness","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34045"}},"secondaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":0,"title":null,"slug":null,"_links":null},"tertiaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":0,"title":null,"slug":null,"_links":null},"trendingArticles":null,"inThisArticle":[],"relatedArticles":{"fromBook":[{"articleId":194468,"title":"How to Seek and Achieve Happiness","slug":"how-to-seek-and-achieve-happiness","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/194468"}},{"articleId":194465,"title":"Ten Things You Can Do Today to Foster Happiness","slug":"ten-things-you-can-do-today-to-foster-happiness","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/194465"}},{"articleId":163996,"title":"How to Balance Interdependence with Autonomy to Achieve Happiness at Home","slug":"how-to-balance-interdependence-with-autonomy-to-achieve-happiness-at-home","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/163996"}},{"articleId":163989,"title":"How to Be Happy Through Positive Confession","slug":"how-to-be-happy-through-positive-confession","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/163989"}},{"articleId":163988,"title":"How to Counteract Counterproductive Work Behavior to Find Happiness","slug":"how-to-counteract-counterproductive-work-behavior-to-find-happiness","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/163988"}}],"fromCategory":[{"articleId":194468,"title":"How to Seek and Achieve Happiness","slug":"how-to-seek-and-achieve-happiness","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/194468"}},{"articleId":194465,"title":"Ten Things You Can Do Today to Foster Happiness","slug":"ten-things-you-can-do-today-to-foster-happiness","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/194465"}},{"articleId":163996,"title":"How to Balance Interdependence with Autonomy to Achieve Happiness at Home","slug":"how-to-balance-interdependence-with-autonomy-to-achieve-happiness-at-home","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/163996"}},{"articleId":163989,"title":"How to Be Happy Through Positive Confession","slug":"how-to-be-happy-through-positive-confession","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/163989"}},{"articleId":163988,"title":"How to Counteract Counterproductive Work Behavior to Find Happiness","slug":"how-to-counteract-counterproductive-work-behavior-to-find-happiness","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/163988"}}]},"hasRelatedBookFromSearch":false,"relatedBook":{"bookId":282264,"slug":"happiness-for-dummies","isbn":"9780470281710","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"amazon":{"default":"https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0470281715/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","ca":"https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0470281715/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","indigo_ca":"http://www.tkqlhce.com/click-9208661-13710633?url=https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/product/0470281715-item.html&cjsku=978111945484","gb":"https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0470281715/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","de":"https://www.amazon.de/gp/product/0470281715/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20"},"image":{"src":"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/happiness-for-dummies-cover-9780470281710-203x255.jpg","width":203,"height":255},"title":"Happiness For Dummies","testBankPinActivationLink":"","bookOutOfPrint":false,"authorsInfo":"<b data-author-id=\"34901\">W. Doyle Gentry, PhD,</b> is a clinical psychologist, a distinguished Fellow in the American Psychological Association, and the Founding Editor of the <i>Journal of Behavioral Medicine</i>.","authors":[{"authorId":34901,"name":"W. Doyle Gentry","slug":"w.-doyle-gentry","description":" <b>W. Doyle Gentry, PhD,</b> is a clinical psychologist, a distinguished Fellow in the American Psychological Association, and the Founding Editor of the <i>Journal of Behavioral Medicine</i>.","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/34901"}}],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/books/"}},"collections":[],"articleAds":{"footerAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;happiness&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9780470281710&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f79bbb36\"></div></div>","rightAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_right_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_right_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;happiness&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9780470281710&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f79bc266\"></div></div>"},"articleType":{"articleType":"Cheat Sheet","articleList":[{"articleId":152196,"title":"What Happiness Isn't","slug":"what-happiness-isnt","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/152196"}},{"articleId":152238,"title":"Are You Happy? 10 Questions to Figure It Out","slug":"are-you-happy-10-questions-to-figure-it-out","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/152238"}},{"articleId":152195,"title":"5 Ways to Attain Happiness at Work","slug":"5-ways-to-attain-happiness-at-work","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/152195"}},{"articleId":152237,"title":"Strive for Happiness by Balancing Life","slug":"strive-for-happiness-by-balancing-life","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","happiness"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/152237"}}],"content":[{"title":"What happiness isn't","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Human beings are wired with an innate, neurological potential for happiness, but if you&#8217;re like most people, you&#8217;re not entirely sure what happiness is. Well, here are six things that happiness <i>isn</i><i>&#8216;</i><i>t:</i></p>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Happiness isn&#8217;t about being wealthy.</b> Money buys you comfort, support, and freedom of action, but it doesn&#8217;t make you happy.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Happiness isn&#8217;t about being powerful.</b> Power is about exerting your will on others; happiness comes from working together in mutually satisfying ways.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Happiness isn&#8217;t about achieving success.</b> Some of the most successful people are very unhappy — and vice versa. The only exception: people who decide to <i>succeed</i> at being happy.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Happiness isn&#8217;t just about being excited.</b> If you fall down a flight of stairs, there certainly is a great deal of excitement — but you&#8217;re surely not happy! Sadly, excitement often creates an <i>illusion</i> of happiness — and that illusion doesn&#8217;t last.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Happiness isn&#8217;t a life-transforming experience.</b> Happiness is momentary — it comes and goes — but it doesn&#8217;t change your life in any significant way. Enjoy happiness while you have it!</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Happiness isn&#8217;t always an easy thing to achieve.</b> Most people have to work at being happy. Life has its challenges, for sure, so how do you deal with them?</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n"},{"title":"Are you happy? 10 questions to figure it out","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>If you want to know how close you are to happiness, here&#8217;s some self-assessment you can do. Be honest with yourself as you answer the following questions — otherwise, the exercise won&#8217;t be helpful.</p>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Do you feel safe in your everyday life?</b> If you feel unsafe, that&#8217;s all you can focus on — you don&#8217;t have the time or space to be happy.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Do you feel you have enough of what you need to be happy?</b> Having enough of what you <i>need</i> isn&#8217;t the same as having everything you <i>want.</i> Sure, you may be dying for a new car, but do you have a car that gets you from point A to point B? If so, you have what you need.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Do you have moments when you look at the totality of your life instead of the events of the day? </b>This is called <i>taking stock,</i> and it helps you appreciate the whole of your life rather than just the part you&#8217;re living today. You could just be having a bad day in an otherwise good week.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Do you often find a quiet place to enjoy a moment of self-reflection? </b>Sanctuary is a good thing. Unfortunately, in today&#8217;s hectic, fast-paced world, most people have too little of it. A quiet moment here and there can make all the difference in how you feel throughout the day.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Are you satisfied with your finances, relationships, and career?</b> Being satisfied doesn&#8217;t necessarily mean that you have all the money in the world, a perfect marriage, or an outstanding career. It just means that things are all right for the moment.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Are you optimistic about your life?</b> From where you&#8217;re standing, does the future look bright? Do you envision more good times than bad in the months ahead? Are you hopeful about the future? If so, you can move forward with joyful anticipation.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Are you grateful for the way your life is unfolding?</b> Being grateful can be as simple as waking up every morning and saying &#8220;thank you&#8221; for the challenges, promises, and opportunities this day offers you.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Do you often experience peace of mind?</b> Can you actually hear yourself think without the noisy outside world intruding? Can you feel the power of silence? A quiet mind and a quiet body go hand in hand.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Would you rate your health and well-being as above average?</b> You don&#8217;t have to be a perfect 10 — anything from 6 on up means you&#8217;re ahead of the game. If you&#8217;re comparing yourself to others, make sure it&#8217;s a fair comparison. A 60-year-old can&#8217;t rate his health as above average if his standard is the way he felt when he was 20.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Do you often find yourself feeling content?</b> Being content means you&#8217;re comfortable with where you are at this moment in life and you have no burning desire to make a change. Life is good and you want to savor it.</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n<p>So are you happy? It depends on how many of these questions you answered with &#8220;yes.&#8221;</p>\n"},{"title":"5 ways to attain happiness at work","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>If you&#8217;re tired of being unhappy at work, you can do something about it. Here are five tips that you can use to remedy the problem:</p>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Always say &#8220;please&#8221; and &#8220;thank you&#8221; to your fellow employees.</b> The better you treat others, the more willing they&#8217;ll be to help you get the job done.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Establish healthy boundaries.</b> Don&#8217;t confuse personal and professional relationships — look for intimacy in other areas of your life.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Avoid toxic co-workers. </b>These people are the naysayers, complainers, and spoilers who want to rain on everyone else&#8217;s parade. The more you&#8217;re exposed to them, the unhappier you&#8217;ll feel.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Look for win-win solutions.</b> It&#8217;s a fact: Employees who engage in win-lose battles with each other waste a lot of productive energy and end up exhibiting counterproductive work behavior. Why not try compromising, accommodating, or collaborating once in a while? Believe it: Things will go more smoothly.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Handle your anger constructively.</b> If anger leads to an improvement in how you and your co-worker relate and work together, then it&#8217;s constructive. If it simply ends up hurting the other person, it&#8217;s not.</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n"},{"title":"Strive for happiness by balancing life","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Overall happiness results from striking a balance in all aspects of your life. Happiness occurs in moments, not in hours, days, weeks, months, or years. The trick is to enjoy the moment, to relish the experience, and to be mindful that it&#8217;ll be gone before you know it.</p>\n<p>Learn how to create and have more of these moments of happiness by balancing these factors:</p>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Hassles and uplifts:</b> The small pleasures of life offset the inevitable stresses, conflicts, and irritants that come your way.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Structure and freedom:</b> Structure (rules, rituals, purpose) gives life meaning; freedom makes life enjoyable.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Work and play:</b> You probably know how to work, but do you know how to play? And do you play enough? If you&#8217;re all work and no play, you&#8217;ll have trouble finding happiness.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Socialization and solitude:</b> Having a confidant can literally save your life. People who have meaningful social ties to the world around them enjoy better health and a longer life. Solitude is about being alone without being lonely — it&#8217;s your opportunity to get to know yourself.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Selfishness and generosity:</b> Happy people don&#8217;t think only about themselves — <i>their</i> wants and needs — they receive joy from serving others. But they don&#8217;t ignore themselves either. After all, if you don&#8217;t take care of yourself, who will?</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Competition and cooperation:</b> Whether at work, in marriage, or at home, there&#8217;s a time to compete (trying to have it your way) and a time to cooperate (going along with what others want). Sometimes you have to choose between winning and being happy.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>The <i>me</i> and the <i>we</i> in intimate relationships:</b> Couples need to maintain their individuality while at the same time being partners.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\"><b>Needs and wants:</b> <i>Needs</i> are the basics you need to sustain human life (water, food, shelter); <i>wants</i> are everything else. Happy people know how to negotiate their wants.</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n"}],"videoInfo":{"videoId":null,"name":null,"accountId":null,"playerId":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"description":null,"uploadDate":null}},"sponsorship":{"sponsorshipPage":false,"backgroundImage":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0},"brandingLine":"","brandingLink":"","brandingLogo":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0}},"primaryLearningPath":"Explore","lifeExpectancy":"Five years","lifeExpectancySetFrom":"2021-06-29T00:00:00+00:00","dummiesForKids":"no","sponsoredContent":"no","adInfo":"","adPairKey":[]},"status":"publish","visibility":"public","articleId":207673},{"headers":{"creationTime":"2016-03-27T16:56:50+00:00","modifiedTime":"2022-03-15T20:56:40+00:00","timestamp":"2022-06-22T19:37:28+00:00"},"data":{"breadcrumbs":[{"name":"Body, Mind, & Spirit","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34038"},"slug":"body-mind-spirit","categoryId":34038},{"name":"Emotional Health & Psychology","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34039"},"slug":"emotional-health-psychology","categoryId":34039},{"name":"Emotional Health","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34040"},"slug":"emotional-health","categoryId":34040},{"name":"Anxiety","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34042"},"slug":"anxiety","categoryId":34042}],"title":"Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies Cheat Sheet","strippedTitle":"overcoming anxiety for dummies cheat sheet","slug":"overcoming-anxiety-for-dummies-cheat-sheet","canonicalUrl":"","seo":{"metaDescription":"Do you think you or a loved one regularly suffers from anxiety? Learn the symptoms and techniques for lessening these feelings.","noIndex":0,"noFollow":0},"content":"Anxiety is the most common mental disorder, but it’s also one of the most treatable. Because anxiety can produce a wide range of symptoms, all sorts of techniques and therapies can be used to treat your anxious thoughts, behaviors, and feelings.\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_289022\" align=\"alignnone\" width=\"630\"]<img class=\"wp-image-289022 size-full\" src=\"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/OvercomingAnxiety.png\" alt=\"Woman sitting on the floor with an anxious expression\" width=\"630\" height=\"420\" /> © Joice Kelly / Unsplash.com[/caption]","description":"Anxiety is the most common mental disorder, but it’s also one of the most treatable. Because anxiety can produce a wide range of symptoms, all sorts of techniques and therapies can be used to treat your anxious thoughts, behaviors, and feelings.\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_289022\" align=\"alignnone\" width=\"630\"]<img class=\"wp-image-289022 size-full\" src=\"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/OvercomingAnxiety.png\" alt=\"Woman sitting on the floor with an anxious expression\" width=\"630\" height=\"420\" /> © Joice Kelly / Unsplash.com[/caption]","blurb":"","authors":[{"authorId":9100,"name":"Charles H. Elliott","slug":"charles-h-elliott","description":"Charles H. Elliott, PhD, is a clinical psychologist who specializes in training mental health professionals in the treatment of adolescents and adults with personality disorders, as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, anger, and depression. He is the coauthor of Depression For Dummies, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder For Dummies, and Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies, among other books.","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/9100"}},{"authorId":9101,"name":"Laura L. Smith","slug":"laura-l-smith","description":"Laura L. Smith, PhD, is a clinical psychologist who specializes in training mental health professionals in the treatment of adolescents and adults with personality disorders, as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, anger, and depression. She is the coauthor of Depression For Dummies, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder For Dummies, and Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies, among other books.","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/9101"}}],"primaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":34042,"title":"Anxiety","slug":"anxiety","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34042"}},"secondaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":0,"title":null,"slug":null,"_links":null},"tertiaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":0,"title":null,"slug":null,"_links":null},"trendingArticles":null,"inThisArticle":[],"relatedArticles":{"fromBook":[{"articleId":193316,"title":"Do You Have Anxiety? Check Your Symptoms","slug":"do-you-have-anxiety-check-your-symptoms","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/193316"}},{"articleId":193306,"title":"Controlling Your Anxious Thoughts","slug":"controlling-your-anxious-thoughts","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/193306"}},{"articleId":193307,"title":"How to Calm Your Anxious Feelings","slug":"how-to-calm-your-anxious-feelings","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/193307"}},{"articleId":193305,"title":"How to Conquer Your Anxious Behavior","slug":"how-to-conquer-your-anxious-behavior","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/193305"}}],"fromCategory":[{"articleId":277725,"title":"How to Help Already Anxious Children","slug":"how-to-help-already-anxious-children","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/277725"}},{"articleId":277720,"title":"10 Ways to Deal with an Anxiety Relapse","slug":"10-ways-to-deal-with-an-anxiety-relapse","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/277720"}},{"articleId":277715,"title":"10 Signs That You Need Professional Help for Anxiety","slug":"10-signs-that-you-need-professional-help-for-anxiety","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/277715"}},{"articleId":277712,"title":"Mimicking Anxiety: Drugs, Diet, and Diseases","slug":"mimicking-anxiety-drugs-diet-and-diseases","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/277712"}},{"articleId":277706,"title":"Biological Roots of Anxiety","slug":"biological-roots-of-anxiety","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/277706"}}]},"hasRelatedBookFromSearch":false,"relatedBook":{"bookId":282439,"slug":"overcoming-anxiety-for-dummies-2nd-edition","isbn":"9780470574416","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"amazon":{"default":"https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0470574410/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","ca":"https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0470574410/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","indigo_ca":"http://www.tkqlhce.com/click-9208661-13710633?url=https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/product/0470574410-item.html&cjsku=978111945484","gb":"https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0470574410/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","de":"https://www.amazon.de/gp/product/0470574410/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20"},"image":{"src":"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/overcoming-anxiety-for-dummies-2nd-edition-cover-9780470574416-203x255.jpg","width":203,"height":255},"title":"Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies, 2nd Edition","testBankPinActivationLink":"","bookOutOfPrint":false,"authorsInfo":"<p><b data-author-id=\"9100\">Charles H. Elliott, PhD,</b> and<b data-author-id=\"9101\"> Laura L. Smith, PhD,</b> are clinical psychol-ogists who specialize in the treatment of anxiety and mood disorders. They are the authors of several <i>For Dummies</i> books, including <i>Borderline Personality Disorder For Dummies</i> and <i>Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder For Dummies.</i> </p>","authors":[{"authorId":9100,"name":"Charles H. Elliott","slug":"charles-h-elliott","description":"Charles H. Elliott, PhD, is a clinical psychologist who specializes in training mental health professionals in the treatment of adolescents and adults with personality disorders, as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, anger, and depression. He is the coauthor of Depression For Dummies, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder For Dummies, and Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies, among other books.","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/9100"}},{"authorId":9101,"name":"Laura L. Smith","slug":"laura-l-smith","description":"Laura L. Smith, PhD, is a clinical psychologist who specializes in training mental health professionals in the treatment of adolescents and adults with personality disorders, as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, anger, and depression. She is the coauthor of Depression For Dummies, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder For Dummies, and Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies, among other books.","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/9101"}}],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/books/"}},"collections":[{"title":"Make a Commitment to Better Yourself","slug":"make-a-commitment-to-better-yourself","collectionId":290164}],"articleAds":{"footerAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;anxiety&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9780470574416&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f78d1370\"></div></div>","rightAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_right_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_right_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;anxiety&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9780470574416&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f78d1a8e\"></div></div>"},"articleType":{"articleType":"Cheat Sheet","articleList":[{"articleId":193316,"title":"Do You Have Anxiety? Check Your Symptoms","slug":"do-you-have-anxiety-check-your-symptoms","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/193316"}},{"articleId":193306,"title":"Controlling Your Anxious Thoughts","slug":"controlling-your-anxious-thoughts","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/193306"}},{"articleId":193305,"title":"How to Conquer Your Anxious Behavior","slug":"how-to-conquer-your-anxious-behavior","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/193305"}},{"articleId":193307,"title":"How to Calm Your Anxious Feelings","slug":"how-to-calm-your-anxious-feelings","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","anxiety"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/193307"}}],"content":[{"title":"Do you have anxiety?","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Anxiety appears in different forms for different folks. You may find that anxiety affects your thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. Some of the more common symptoms are listed as follows:</p>\n<h2>You’re <em>thinking</em><i> </i>anxiously if you’re . . .</h2>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Making dire predictions about the future.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Thinking you can’t cope.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Frequently worrying about pleasing people.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Thinking that you need to be perfect.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Having excessive concerns about not being in control.</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n<h2>You’re <em>behaving</em> anxiously if you’re . . .</h2>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Avoiding many social events.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Leaving situations that make you anxious.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Never taking reasonable risks.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Staying away from feared objects or events, such as spiders or flying.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Procrastinating so much on tasks that you fall badly behind.</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n<h2>You’re <em>feeling</em> anxious if you have . . .</h2>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Butterflies in your stomach</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Dizziness</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Muscle tension</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">A racing heart</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">A shaky feeling</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Sweaty palms</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n<p class=\"Warning\">The physical symptoms of anxiety may result from medical problems. If you have a number of these symptoms, please see a physician for a checkup.</p>\n"},{"title":"Controlling your anxious thoughts","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>The words you use to think about yourself and the world can contribute to your anxiety. When you take some time to examine your anxious thoughts, you may find that your anxiety decreases. If your mind is filled with worries and concerns, try asking yourself these questions:</p>\n<ul class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">How will I look at this concern six months from now?</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Have I had this worry before only to discover that what I worried about never actually occurred?</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">What evidence truly supports or refutes my worry?</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">If a friend of mine had this thought, what advice would I give?</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">If the worst happens, could I find a way to cope with it?</p>\n</li>\n</ul>\n<p class=\"article-tips warning\">If you or a loved one is suffering from depression or anxiety and experiencing thoughts of self-harm, call the <a href=\"https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">National Suicide Prevention Lifeline</a> at <strong>(800) 273-8255</strong>, or your local suicide prevention hotline.</p>\n"},{"title":"When anxiety keeps you from social events","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>These days, because of the Covid-19 pandemic, you might need to avoid social situations to protect yourself and others. But the pandemic aside, if you find that you avoid important life events or opportunities as a result of your anxiety, it’s time to take action.</p>\n<p>By taking small steps to change your behavior, you can overcome anxiety-inducing situations. If your anxiety keeps you away from social situations, try the following:</p>\n<ol class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Analyze what you’re avoiding.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">For example, if you’re afraid of social gatherings, think about every component of what you fear — talking, eating in front of others, the size of the crowd, losing control, and/or approaching other people.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Break your avoidance into little pieces.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">For example, social gatherings come in all sizes and degrees of difficulty.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Rank those little pieces from least to most distressing.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">You may not feel anxious about family gatherings, but the company picnic arouses a little more anxiety, and a party with people you don’t know well terrifies you.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Take small steps and conquer each one of the steps before moving on.</p>\n<p class=\"child-para\">Any discomfort you feel at each step will soon pass if you remain in the situation for a while.</p>\n</li>\n</ol>\n"},{"title":"How to calm your anxious feelings","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Feelings of anxiety often are accompanied by physical reactions. When your body trembles with anxious sensations like sweaty hands, a shaky voice, a racing heart, or an upset stomach, try a few relaxing breaths:</p>\n<ol class=\"level-one\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Put your hand on your abdomen.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Take a slow, deep breath and notice your abdomen expanding.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Hold that breath for 5 or 6 seconds.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Slowly breathe out and let your shoulders droop.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">As you exhale, say the word “relax” to yourself.</p>\n</li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"first-para\">Repeat this type of breath ten times.</p>\n</li>\n</ol>\n"}],"videoInfo":{"videoId":null,"name":null,"accountId":null,"playerId":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"description":null,"uploadDate":null}},"sponsorship":{"sponsorshipPage":false,"backgroundImage":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0},"brandingLine":"","brandingLink":"","brandingLogo":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0}},"primaryLearningPath":"Solve","lifeExpectancy":"Six months","lifeExpectancySetFrom":"2021-06-22T00:00:00+00:00","dummiesForKids":"no","sponsoredContent":"no","adInfo":"","adPairKey":[]},"status":"publish","visibility":"public","articleId":209146},{"headers":{"creationTime":"2016-03-27T16:49:08+00:00","modifiedTime":"2022-03-10T21:33:10+00:00","timestamp":"2022-06-22T19:37:26+00:00"},"data":{"breadcrumbs":[{"name":"Body, Mind, & Spirit","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34038"},"slug":"body-mind-spirit","categoryId":34038},{"name":"Emotional Health & Psychology","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34039"},"slug":"emotional-health-psychology","categoryId":34039},{"name":"Emotional Health","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34040"},"slug":"emotional-health","categoryId":34040},{"name":"Depression","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34043"},"slug":"depression","categoryId":34043}],"title":"Depression For Dummies Cheat Sheet","strippedTitle":"depression for dummies cheat sheet","slug":"depression-for-dummies-cheat-sheet","canonicalUrl":"","seo":{"metaDescription":"Use this guide from Dummies.com to figure out whether you're really depressed, where to find help, and what to do and not do.","noIndex":0,"noFollow":0},"content":"Depression is a serious medical illness that is quite common but also quite treatable. First, figure out whether you’re just down in the dumps or truly suffering from depression, which can have a lot more symptoms than just feeling blue.\r\n\r\nIf you’re depressed, know where you can find help. And know what you should and should not do to make yourself feel better.\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_283144\" align=\"alignnone\" width=\"556\"]<img class=\"size-full wp-image-283144\" src=\"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/depression-woman.jpg\" alt=\"depressed woman\" width=\"556\" height=\"371\" /> © aslysun / Shutterstock.com[/caption]","description":"Depression is a serious medical illness that is quite common but also quite treatable. First, figure out whether you’re just down in the dumps or truly suffering from depression, which can have a lot more symptoms than just feeling blue.\r\n\r\nIf you’re depressed, know where you can find help. And know what you should and should not do to make yourself feel better.\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_283144\" align=\"alignnone\" width=\"556\"]<img class=\"size-full wp-image-283144\" src=\"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/depression-woman.jpg\" alt=\"depressed woman\" width=\"556\" height=\"371\" /> © aslysun / Shutterstock.com[/caption]","blurb":"","authors":[{"authorId":9101,"name":"Laura L. Smith","slug":"laura-l-smith","description":"Laura L. Smith, PhD, is a clinical psychologist who specializes in training mental health professionals in the treatment of adolescents and adults with personality disorders, as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, anger, and depression. She is the coauthor of Depression For Dummies, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder For Dummies, and Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies, among other books.","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/9101"}},{"authorId":9100,"name":"Charles H. Elliott","slug":"charles-h-elliott","description":"Charles H. Elliott, PhD, is a clinical psychologist who specializes in training mental health professionals in the treatment of adolescents and adults with personality disorders, as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, anger, and depression. He is the coauthor of Depression For Dummies, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder For Dummies, and Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies, among other books.","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/9100"}}],"primaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":34043,"title":"Depression","slug":"depression","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/categories/34043"}},"secondaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":0,"title":null,"slug":null,"_links":null},"tertiaryCategoryTaxonomy":{"categoryId":0,"title":null,"slug":null,"_links":null},"trendingArticles":null,"inThisArticle":[],"relatedArticles":{"fromBook":[],"fromCategory":[{"articleId":164263,"title":"4 Ways to Deal with Bad Moods","slug":"4-ways-to-deal-with-bad-moods","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","depression"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/164263"}},{"articleId":164260,"title":"Depression Do's and Don'ts","slug":"depression-dos-and-donts","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","depression"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/164260"}},{"articleId":164261,"title":"5 Places to Get Help for Your Depression","slug":"5-places-to-get-help-for-your-depression","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","depression"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/164261"}},{"articleId":164262,"title":"14 Signs that You Might Be Depressed","slug":"14-signs-that-you-might-be-depressed","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","depression"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/164262"}},{"articleId":164004,"title":"How to Mindfully Deal with Depression","slug":"how-to-mindfully-deal-with-depression","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","depression"],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/164004"}}]},"hasRelatedBookFromSearch":false,"relatedBook":{"bookId":282739,"slug":"depression-for-dummies-2nd-edition","isbn":"9781119768593","categoryList":["body-mind-spirit","emotional-health-psychology","emotional-health","depression"],"amazon":{"default":"https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1119768594/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","ca":"https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/1119768594/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","indigo_ca":"http://www.tkqlhce.com/click-9208661-13710633?url=https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/product/1119768594-item.html&cjsku=978111945484","gb":"https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1119768594/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20","de":"https://www.amazon.de/gp/product/1119768594/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wiley01-20"},"image":{"src":"https://www.dummies.com/wp-content/uploads/depression-for-dummies-2nd-edition-cover-9781119768593-203x255.jpg","width":203,"height":255},"title":"Depression For Dummies","testBankPinActivationLink":"","bookOutOfPrint":true,"authorsInfo":"<p><b>Charles H. Elliott, Ph.D.&nbsp;</b> (Corrales, New Mexico) is a clinical psychologist and a Founding Fellow in the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. He is also a member of the faculty at Fielding Graduate University. He specializes in the treatment of adolescents and adults with obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, anger, depression, and personality disorders. He presents nationally and internationally on new developments in the assessment and therapy of emotional disorders.</p> <p><b><b data-author-id=\"34790\">Laura L. Smith</b>, Ph.D.</b> (Corrales, New Mexico) is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the assessment and treatment of adults and children with obsessive compulsive disorder, as well as personality disorders, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and learning disorders. She is often asked to provide consultations to attorneys, school districts, and governmental agencies. She presents workshops on cognitive therapy and mental health issues to national and international audiences.</p> <p><b><b data-author-id=\"34791\">Charles H. Elliott</b>, Ph.D.&nbsp;</b> (Corrales, New Mexico) is a clinical psychologist and a Founding Fellow in the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. He is also a member of the faculty at Fielding Graduate University. He specializes in the treatment of adolescents and adults with obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, anger, depression, and personality disorders. He presents nationally and internationally on new developments in the assessment and therapy of emotional disorders.</p> <p><b>Laura L. Smith, Ph.D.</b> (Corrales, New Mexico) is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the assessment and treatment of adults and children with obsessive compulsive disorder, as well as personality disorders, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and learning disorders. She is often asked to provide consultations to attorneys, school districts, and governmental agencies. She presents workshops on cognitive therapy and mental health issues to national and international audiences.</p>","authors":[{"authorId":34790,"name":"Laura L. Smith","slug":"laura-l.-smith","description":" <p><b>Charles H. Elliott, Ph.D.&nbsp;</b> (Corrales, New Mexico) is a clinical psychologist and a Founding Fellow in the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. He is also a member of the faculty at Fielding Graduate University. He specializes in the treatment of adolescents and adults with obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, anger, depression, and personality disorders. He presents nationally and internationally on new developments in the assessment and therapy of emotional disorders.</p> <p><b>Laura L. Smith, Ph.D.</b> (Corrales, New Mexico) is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the assessment and treatment of adults and children with obsessive compulsive disorder, as well as personality disorders, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and learning disorders. She is often asked to provide consultations to attorneys, school districts, and governmental agencies. She presents workshops on cognitive therapy and mental health issues to national and international audiences.</p>","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/34790"}},{"authorId":34791,"name":"Charles H. Elliott","slug":"charles-h.-elliott","description":" <p><b>Charles H. Elliott, Ph.D.&nbsp;</b> (Corrales, New Mexico) is a clinical psychologist and a Founding Fellow in the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. He is also a member of the faculty at Fielding Graduate University. He specializes in the treatment of adolescents and adults with obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, anger, depression, and personality disorders. He presents nationally and internationally on new developments in the assessment and therapy of emotional disorders.</p> <p><b>Laura L. Smith, Ph.D.</b> (Corrales, New Mexico) is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the assessment and treatment of adults and children with obsessive compulsive disorder, as well as personality disorders, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and learning disorders. She is often asked to provide consultations to attorneys, school districts, and governmental agencies. She presents workshops on cognitive therapy and mental health issues to national and international audiences.</p>","_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/authors/34791"}}],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/books/"}},"collections":[],"articleAds":{"footerAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_adhesion_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;depression&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9781119768593&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f76152bd\"></div></div>","rightAd":"<div class=\"du-ad-region row\" id=\"article_page_right_ad\"><div class=\"du-ad-unit col-md-12\" data-slot-id=\"article_page_right_ad\" data-refreshed=\"false\" \r\n data-target = \"[{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;cat&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;body-mind-spirit&quot;,&quot;emotional-health-psychology&quot;,&quot;emotional-health&quot;,&quot;depression&quot;]},{&quot;key&quot;:&quot;isbn&quot;,&quot;values&quot;:[&quot;9781119768593&quot;]}]\" id=\"du-slot-62b36f7615a1a\"></div></div>"},"articleType":{"articleType":"Cheat Sheet","articleList":[{"articleId":0,"title":"","slug":null,"categoryList":[],"_links":{"self":"https://dummies-api.dummies.com/v2/articles/"}}],"content":[{"title":"14 signs you might be depressed","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>People experience depression in different ways. This symptom checklist can provide you with a rough idea as to whether you’re experiencing depression. Check all items that apply to you.</p>\n<ul>\n<li>Feeling worthless</li>\n<li>Change in appetite</li>\n<li>Avoiding contact with other people</li>\n<li>Less energy than usual</li>\n<li>Not looking forward to anything</li>\n<li>More aches and pains lately</li>\n<li>Unable to concentrate like usual</li>\n<li>Feelings of guilt</li>\n<li>Loss of interest in hobbies and things</li>\n<li>Feeling hopeless</li>\n<li>Feeling sad and empty</li>\n<li>Sleeping too much or too little</li>\n<li>Dwelling on thoughts of death</li>\n<li>Unable to make decisions</li>\n</ul>\n<p>Any of these symptoms can indicate that you’re not feeling up to par. Merely checking one or two doesn’t necessarily mean you’re depressed, but the more items you check, the greater the concern of possible depression.</p>\n<p class=\"article-tips warning\">If you or a loved one is suffering from depression and experiencing thoughts of self-harm, call the <a href=\"https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">National Suicide Prevention Lifeline</a> at <strong>(800) 273-8255</strong>, or your local suicide prevention hotline.</p>\n<p>Anyone can have these feelings for a little while. You should mainly be concerned if these symptoms last for more than a week or two. However, if you’re having thoughts of suicide or death, get help now.</p>\n"},{"title":"5 places to get help for your depression ","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>If you think that you may be depressed, don’t despair. Depression is treatable, and lots of help is available. Here are some sources you can consult:</p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Your family doctor:</strong> Ask for a complete physical. Sometimes depression is the result of other medical problems.</li>\n<li><strong>Mental health professionals:</strong> See one of these professionals after you rule out other physical causes for your low mood. Licensed psychologists, social workers, and counselors can competently diagnose and treat depression.</li>\n<li><strong>Psychiatrists:</strong> These physicians have specialized training in the treatment of depression and other mental disorders. They typically focus on the use of medication and other biologically based treatments.</li>\n<li><strong>The internet:</strong> We recommend WebMD and the American Psychological Association as especially informative sites with lots of useful, user-friendly information about depression. But remember that the internet can’t replace professional help.</li>\n<li><strong>Books about depression.</strong> Start with this book and then visit your library. You can’t read too much about the problem.</li>\n</ul>\n"},{"title":"Depression dos and don'ts","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>If you are depressed, you want to avoid doing nothing, and you also need to guard against having the wrong thoughts about your situation. Here are a few things for you to do or absolutely not to do:</p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong><em>Do </em>get help. </strong>You can start with self-help resources, like the book listed in this article. However, you need to see a professional if your depression doesn’t lift soon.</li>\n<li><strong><em>Don’t </em>ignore feelings of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts.</strong> These symptoms are serious! If you have these symptoms, seek help immediately.</li>\n<li><strong><em>Don’t</em> think that there’s nothing you can do.</strong> Depression is highly treatable.</li>\n<li><strong><em>Do</em> keep trying.</strong> If your first attempt to treat depression doesn’t work, try something new. A variety of ways exist to help you deal with depression.</li>\n<li><strong><em>Don’t</em> blame yourself.</strong> Depression has many causes, and you certainly didn’t ask for your depression.</li>\n</ul>\n"},{"title":"4 ways to deal with bad moods","thumb":null,"image":null,"content":"<p>Everyone experiences bad moods from time to time. A bad mood isn’t the same as depression. Bad moods are transient, and they lift after a while. Here are a few things you can do to alleviate a simple bad mood:</p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Get moving.</strong> Almost any aerobic activity can alleviate a bad mood. Dance, run, or play. Get that heart pounding.</li>\n<li><strong>Be grateful. </strong>Make a list of what you feel grateful for. Bad moods may make you forget the good things in your life. Spend a few minutes considering life’s gifts, from small to large.</li>\n<li><strong>Don’t catastrophize. </strong>Realize that everyone feels a little low once in a while.</li>\n<li><strong>Help someone.</strong> Focusing on helping someone else is one of the best ways to overcome a lousy mood. It’s a great antidote for dwelling on your own misfortune.</li>\n</ul>\n"}],"videoInfo":{"videoId":null,"name":null,"accountId":null,"playerId":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"description":null,"uploadDate":null}},"sponsorship":{"sponsorshipPage":false,"backgroundImage":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0},"brandingLine":"","brandingLink":"","brandingLogo":{"src":null,"width":0,"height":0}},"primaryLearningPath":"Solve","lifeExpectancy":"Two 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Emotional Health Articles

Find emotional wellness techniques such as mindfulness and reiki, info on anger and anxiety, and tips for tackling depression and building willpower. Plus wisdom to soothe your sometimes-stormy heart.

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Anger Management

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485 results
Reiki Reiki For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Cheat Sheet / Updated 05-17-2022

Reiki is a spiritual practice of healing. You can delve into the components of the system, which include attunements and symbols and the three levels of training.

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Stress Stress Management For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Cheat Sheet / Updated 04-12-2022

Identifying the symptoms of stress is an important first step to reducing tension in your life. Once you identify the signs of stress, use your imagination and the proven tool of progressive muscle relaxation to put your mind and body at ease.

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Life Coaching How to Get to Grips through Life Coaching

Article / Updated 04-08-2022

People talk lots of hokum about life coaching. Life coaching television programmes, magazines and newspaper columns range in quality from the powerful and inspirational through to the downright misleading and dangerous. True life coaching isn’t about some guru telling you how you should live. Yes, you may be tempted to bask in the comfort of an expert who can fix your life, your fashion sense, your body flaws and your emotional angst. But these fixes are too often like an elegant sticking plaster. Changes don’t last, unless a real change has come from deep within you. True life coaching enables you to call on your very own inner guru, any time, any place, with or without the support of another human being. Think of yourself as a unique person Instead of thinking about your good points and bad points, consider the question: ‘What are my unique qualities?’ That’s a very different kind of question, even though to answer it you think about many of the same traits. The whole focus of the question is on what makes you uniquely you. It’s a lot easier to be confident about the positives and stay more objective about the rest. Seen from this perspective, everything about who you are is key to being your best self. Instead of worrying about your weaknesses, you can begin to think in terms of your opportunities to develop what you like about yourself and what works for you, and to change the stuff about you that gets in your own way. A character trait that you may think of as a weakness may turn out to be one of your biggest strengths, when you find out how to apply it in the right way. Two of the basic life-coaching truths support the idea that you’re already good enough – ‘You are resourceful’ and ‘You are already capable of much more than you know’. Don't worry; be happy! Happiness is no laughing matter; in fact, it’s a serious business! Take a moment to think about the reason behind all that you do. You set goals for better health, wealth, a great career and brilliant relationships. Why do you do all of that? Chances are, it’s because you believe that attaining these goals will make you happier, or at least enhance your current level of happiness. Even truly altruistic goals – where you make a contribution to the world and to others, perhaps at some personal cost – still contribute significantly to your feelings of happiness. The best goals make you feel happy by a combination of a great outcome that really motivates you and a process of getting there that is, at least in part, an enjoyable one. Even so, happiness can still be elusive and fleeting. Things that you think should make you happy sometimes don’t, and you can find true happiness in unexpected places.

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Life Coaching Life Coaching For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Cheat Sheet / Updated 04-08-2022

Use the at-a-glance figures and tips in this Cheat Sheet to prepare yourself to make changes, take control, and fulfil your potential with life coaching.

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Stress Cope with Stress by Having a Talk with Yourself

Video / Updated 04-01-2022

When you find yourself in a stressful situation, having a simple dialog with yourself can de-escalate the situation, take away your anxiety and stress, and help you cope. You can teach yourself to talk through your stress, put things into perspective, and empower yourself to deal with just about any stressor. Download this audio script along with the companion script " Guided Muscle Relaxation"

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Anger Management 12 Steps to Using Anger Constructively

Article / Updated 04-01-2022

Through appropriate anger management techniques, you can use your anger as a motivator to make positive changes around you. Constructive anger involves these two things: Deciding where it is you want your anger to take you. Arriving at that destination through a step-by-step process. Before you begin, remind yourself of the following things: I need to reason through my anger. I need to put my anger into perspective. I can’t do a thing about what has happened to provoke my anger. The situation that made me angry should be rectified. I need to find other ways to express my anger. Step 1: Decide how you want to feel after you get angry How you use anger is a choice. If you choose to use anger constructively you’ll generally expect that, after you finish expressing your anger, you will: Have a better understanding of the person with whom you had the angry exchange. Feel better about that other person. Feel closer to resolving issues between you and the other person. Realize that things were never as bad as you initially thought they were when you first became angry. Feel that both parties came away feeling like something good happened. Have less conflict in the future. On the other hand, if you choose to use your anger destructively, you should expect the opposite outcomes — more conflict in the future, more tension between you and the other person, and so on. Step 2: Acknowledge your anger A simple statement will suffice. What you want to do is give a heads-up to the other party in the conversation, letting them know that emotions are in play here and that the emotion you’re feeling is anger. It’s not enough just to acknowledge to yourself that you’re angry — you have to articulate that feeling to the person you’re angry with. Step 3: Focus your anger on the problem, not the person Focus on the issue that triggered your anger, not the person on the other side of that issue. When you begin to personalize anger, your anger will invariably turn vengeful. Step 4: Identify the source of the anger This step is an easy one. Why? Because the source of all your anger is you! All your emotions are a reflection of yourself. Right away, as you internalize the source of your anger, you begin to feel more in control of your anger. Now, the question is: Do you alter your expectations of that other person or do you clarify for them what those expectations are and what will happen if your expectations aren’t met? Step 5: Accept that the problem that made you angry can be solved Fixing problems is much easier than fixing people. What you have is a problem situation. Try to remain optimistic. Be open-minded. Don’t be afraid to try new solutions when the old ones don’t work. If you can’t think of any new possible solutions, talk to someone else about it and see what that person suggests. After you come up with a new strategy, use it the next time you’re in this situation. Step 6: Try to see things from the other person’s perspective Anger is so subjective that it’s hard to see past it, to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. But seeing the situation from the other person’s perspective is one of the most essential steps in using anger constructively. The easiest way to understand why the other person thinks, feels, or acts the way she does is to invite their input. If you don’t give the other person an opportunity to tell you where she’s coming from, you’re left to speculate — and odds are, you’ll guess incorrectly. Step 7: Co-op the other party Enlist the cooperation of the person you’re angry with in resolving the problem. The minute you begin to share the responsibility of resolving an anger-producing problem, the intensity of your anger decreases. Step 8: Keep a civil tone throughout What you say in anger isn’t what causes problems — it’s the tone in which you say it. If you can keep a civil tone to your conversation, you’ll find that actively listening to the person with whom you’re angry is easier — it’s also easier to get your message across to that person. Lowering your tone will in turn cause him to lower his. Step 9: Avoid disrespectful behavior Clearly, there are some things — gestures, behaviors — you need to avoid if you’re going to use anger constructively. Step 10: Don’t be afraid to take a timeout if you start to feel angry and resume the discussion later Don’t be afraid to say to the other person, “I think we’ve gone as far as we can with this issue right now, but I really think we should continue our discussion at a later date. Do you agree?” Some issues take longer to solve than others. This strategy only works if you actually do resume the discussion later. Otherwise, all your constructive efforts were in vain! Step 11: Make it a two-way conversation When it comes to addressing your anger in a constructive way, you have to let the other person have a turn, too. Vengeful anger and simply “letting off steam” don’t involve the other party except as the object of your wrath. You’re trying to do something different in this case. Step 12: Acknowledge that you’ve made progress Old bad habits like vengeful anger die hard. So, if you’re trying to begin using anger more constructively, it’s important to acknowledge when progress is being made anywhere along the way. Then ask the other person if they agree that progress has been made. You hope, of course, that they say yes. But if they don’t, that’s okay. Maybe they’ll change their mind in the future. (Most important, don’t get mad just because they don’t agree with you!)

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Stress Resilience For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-28-2022

Life isn't always easy, and how you deal with difficult situations can make or break your life. Achieving resilience doesn't require extraordinary ability. Resilient people see challenges as opportunities, maintain a positive outlook, find meaning in the struggle, and successfully adapt to adversity. If these skills don’t come naturally to you, you can develop them. Humans are innately wired to adapt to difficulty. The key is to be able to tap into this wiring by practicing behaviors, habits, and strategies that help us to thrive.

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Happiness Happiness For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-21-2022

Happiness is an important part of life — no less than anger, sadness, and fear. But how do you know if you're happy? Are you as happy as most people? If you have lots of money or a fancy title at work, shouldn't that be enough to make you happy? Discover how balancing your life is one way to achieve overall happiness.

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Anxiety Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-15-2022

Anxiety is the most common mental disorder, but it’s also one of the most treatable. Because anxiety can produce a wide range of symptoms, all sorts of techniques and therapies can be used to treat your anxious thoughts, behaviors, and feelings.

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Depression Depression For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-10-2022

Depression is a serious medical illness that is quite common but also quite treatable. First, figure out whether you’re just down in the dumps or truly suffering from depression, which can have a lot more symptoms than just feeling blue. If you’re depressed, know where you can find help. And know what you should and should not do to make yourself feel better.

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