Emotional Health Articles

Cheat Sheet / Updated 04-12-2022

Identifying the symptoms of stress is an important first step to reducing tension in your life. Once you identify the signs of stress, use your imagination and the proven tool of progressive muscle relaxation to put your mind and body at ease.

Article / Updated 04-08-2022

People talk lots of hokum about life coaching. Life coaching television programmes, magazines and newspaper columns range in quality from the powerful and inspirational through to the downright misleading and dangerous. True life coaching isn’t about some guru telling you how you should live. Yes, you may be tempted to bask in the comfort of an expert who can fix your life, your fashion sense, your body flaws and your emotional angst. But these fixes are too often like an elegant sticking plaster. Changes don’t last, unless a real change has come from deep within you. True life coaching enables you to call on your very own inner guru, any time, any place, with or without the support of another human being. Think of yourself as a unique person Instead of thinking about your good points and bad points, consider the question: ‘What are my unique qualities?’ That’s a very different kind of question, even though to answer it you think about many of the same traits. The whole focus of the question is on what makes you uniquely you. It’s a lot easier to be confident about the positives and stay more objective about the rest. Seen from this perspective, everything about who you are is key to being your best self. Instead of worrying about your weaknesses, you can begin to think in terms of your opportunities to develop what you like about yourself and what works for you, and to change the stuff about you that gets in your own way. A character trait that you may think of as a weakness may turn out to be one of your biggest strengths, when you find out how to apply it in the right way. Two of the basic life-coaching truths support the idea that you’re already good enough – ‘You are resourceful’ and ‘You are already capable of much more than you know’. Don't worry; be happy! Happiness is no laughing matter; in fact, it’s a serious business! Take a moment to think about the reason behind all that you do. You set goals for better health, wealth, a great career and brilliant relationships. Why do you do all of that? Chances are, it’s because you believe that attaining these goals will make you happier, or at least enhance your current level of happiness. Even truly altruistic goals – where you make a contribution to the world and to others, perhaps at some personal cost – still contribute significantly to your feelings of happiness. The best goals make you feel happy by a combination of a great outcome that really motivates you and a process of getting there that is, at least in part, an enjoyable one. Even so, happiness can still be elusive and fleeting. Things that you think should make you happy sometimes don’t, and you can find true happiness in unexpected places.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 04-08-2022

Use the at-a-glance figures and tips in this Cheat Sheet to prepare yourself to make changes, take control, and fulfil your potential with life coaching.

Video / Updated 04-01-2022

When you find yourself in a stressful situation, having a simple dialog with yourself can de-escalate the situation, take away your anxiety and stress, and help you cope. You can teach yourself to talk through your stress, put things into perspective, and empower yourself to deal with just about any stressor. Download this audio script along with the companion script " Guided Muscle Relaxation"

Article / Updated 04-01-2022

Through appropriate anger management techniques, you can use your anger as a motivator to make positive changes around you. Constructive anger involves these two things: Deciding where it is you want your anger to take you. Arriving at that destination through a step-by-step process. Before you begin, remind yourself of the following things: I need to reason through my anger. I need to put my anger into perspective. I can’t do a thing about what has happened to provoke my anger. The situation that made me angry should be rectified. I need to find other ways to express my anger. Step 1: Decide how you want to feel after you get angry How you use anger is a choice. If you choose to use anger constructively you’ll generally expect that, after you finish expressing your anger, you will: Have a better understanding of the person with whom you had the angry exchange. Feel better about that other person. Feel closer to resolving issues between you and the other person. Realize that things were never as bad as you initially thought they were when you first became angry. Feel that both parties came away feeling like something good happened. Have less conflict in the future. On the other hand, if you choose to use your anger destructively, you should expect the opposite outcomes — more conflict in the future, more tension between you and the other person, and so on. Step 2: Acknowledge your anger A simple statement will suffice. What you want to do is give a heads-up to the other party in the conversation, letting them know that emotions are in play here and that the emotion you’re feeling is anger. It’s not enough just to acknowledge to yourself that you’re angry — you have to articulate that feeling to the person you’re angry with. Step 3: Focus your anger on the problem, not the person Focus on the issue that triggered your anger, not the person on the other side of that issue. When you begin to personalize anger, your anger will invariably turn vengeful. Step 4: Identify the source of the anger This step is an easy one. Why? Because the source of all your anger is you! All your emotions are a reflection of yourself. Right away, as you internalize the source of your anger, you begin to feel more in control of your anger. Now, the question is: Do you alter your expectations of that other person or do you clarify for them what those expectations are and what will happen if your expectations aren’t met? Step 5: Accept that the problem that made you angry can be solved Fixing problems is much easier than fixing people. What you have is a problem situation. Try to remain optimistic. Be open-minded. Don’t be afraid to try new solutions when the old ones don’t work. If you can’t think of any new possible solutions, talk to someone else about it and see what that person suggests. After you come up with a new strategy, use it the next time you’re in this situation. Step 6: Try to see things from the other person’s perspective Anger is so subjective that it’s hard to see past it, to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. But seeing the situation from the other person’s perspective is one of the most essential steps in using anger constructively. The easiest way to understand why the other person thinks, feels, or acts the way she does is to invite their input. If you don’t give the other person an opportunity to tell you where she’s coming from, you’re left to speculate — and odds are, you’ll guess incorrectly. Step 7: Co-op the other party Enlist the cooperation of the person you’re angry with in resolving the problem. The minute you begin to share the responsibility of resolving an anger-producing problem, the intensity of your anger decreases. Step 8: Keep a civil tone throughout What you say in anger isn’t what causes problems — it’s the tone in which you say it. If you can keep a civil tone to your conversation, you’ll find that actively listening to the person with whom you’re angry is easier — it’s also easier to get your message across to that person. Lowering your tone will in turn cause him to lower his. Step 9: Avoid disrespectful behavior Clearly, there are some things — gestures, behaviors — you need to avoid if you’re going to use anger constructively. Step 10: Don’t be afraid to take a timeout if you start to feel angry and resume the discussion later Don’t be afraid to say to the other person, “I think we’ve gone as far as we can with this issue right now, but I really think we should continue our discussion at a later date. Do you agree?” Some issues take longer to solve than others. This strategy only works if you actually do resume the discussion later. Otherwise, all your constructive efforts were in vain! Step 11: Make it a two-way conversation When it comes to addressing your anger in a constructive way, you have to let the other person have a turn, too. Vengeful anger and simply “letting off steam” don’t involve the other party except as the object of your wrath. You’re trying to do something different in this case. Step 12: Acknowledge that you’ve made progress Old bad habits like vengeful anger die hard. So, if you’re trying to begin using anger more constructively, it’s important to acknowledge when progress is being made anywhere along the way. Then ask the other person if they agree that progress has been made. You hope, of course, that they say yes. But if they don’t, that’s okay. Maybe they’ll change their mind in the future. (Most important, don’t get mad just because they don’t agree with you!)

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-28-2022

Life isn't always easy, and how you deal with difficult situations can make or break your life. Achieving resilience doesn't require extraordinary ability. Resilient people see challenges as opportunities, maintain a positive outlook, find meaning in the struggle, and successfully adapt to adversity. If these skills don’t come naturally to you, you can develop them. Humans are innately wired to adapt to difficulty. The key is to be able to tap into this wiring by practicing behaviors, habits, and strategies that help us to thrive.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-21-2022

Happiness is an important part of life — no less than anger, sadness, and fear. But how do you know if you're happy? Are you as happy as most people? If you have lots of money or a fancy title at work, shouldn't that be enough to make you happy? Discover how balancing your life is one way to achieve overall happiness.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-15-2022

Anxiety is the most common mental disorder, but it’s also one of the most treatable. Because anxiety can produce a wide range of symptoms, all sorts of techniques and therapies can be used to treat your anxious thoughts, behaviors, and feelings.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-10-2022

Depression is a serious medical illness that is quite common but also quite treatable. First, figure out whether you’re just down in the dumps or truly suffering from depression, which can have a lot more symptoms than just feeling blue. If you’re depressed, know where you can find help. And know what you should and should not do to make yourself feel better.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-09-2022

Self-compassion is a resource that every person possesses. When you encounter difficulty, when you fail at something, fall short in your efforts, or make a mistake, you may find that you hear the voice of an inner critic berating you for being imperfect. The key to finding a way through these inevitable challenges that life hands you is to be able to deploy the practice of self-compassion as soon as you are aware that you are struggling or suffering in some way. With steady and persistent practice, you can navigate more smoothly through the periodic storms that we all encounter in life.