Grief: Expert Guides and Resources

Complicated grieving is the technical name that grief professionals give to a grieving process that gets stuck at some point, making it impossible for the bereaved to successfully start or conclude the grieving process. This type of grief is often a sign of unresolved problems in the relationship between the bereaved and the deceased, making it more difficult than usual for the bereft person to grieve.

Mourning the loss of a loved one is a long, difficult process. This is true for the person grieving, as well as the loved ones of the person grieving. Unfortunately, loss is often misunderstood and comes with complicated, overwhelming emotions. The best thing you can do is to try to understand what is happening and how your life or the life of your loved one will be changed as a result of the loss.

Anticipatory grief is the name given to the angst and sorrow that accompanies the knowledge that your loved one almost certainly is going to die from whatever disease or debilitating condition he's suffering. The watchword of anticipatory grief is angst: You fear the loss that you know is coming more than you actually grieve it.

When a loved one dies, you might feel devoid of life, hope, or happiness. Expressing grief through personal rituals can ease the pain. A ritual is any ceremony that progresses in established steps. Although people generally think of ritual in the context of formalized religion, it need not be. You can (and probably do) make a ritual out of the smallest and most mundane acts in your everyday life, such as getting ready for work in the morning, preparing the evening meal, or getting ready for bed at night.

When you lose your spouse through death, you obviously get no say-so in the matter. This lack of control and utter helplessness is in strong contrast to the loss of a spouse through divorce, which, though it may be unavoidable, is still an act of will rather than a loss of control over one's destiny. Lack of control is the salient factor in the profound loss of any loved one.

Experiencing the death of a parent is traumatic at any age, but it's particularly harrowing for young children. With the death of a parent, young children are deprived not only of the guidance and love that that parent would have provided as the children grew up but also the sense of security that the parent's ongoing presence in the home would have bestowed.

The grieving process is a unique experience for each individual person. You may see different models of mourning as presented by various grieving professionals. These models provide people with ways of viewing and understanding their grief, but are by no means applicable to every person or situation. The grieving process is different for everyone.

Grieving is a difficult process in any situation. As someone suffering from the loss of a loved one, you may feel as though you are not handling the situation like you should or would like to. While people are generally well meaning, you will often get loads of advice about how you “should” handle your own grief.

There is no perfect manual that can give you a step-by-step set of instructions for how to help a loved one grieve a loss. However, there are a few general rules that may help guide you along the way. If you really want to support a friend or family member in grieving the loss of a loved one, stick to these dos and don’ts: Do listen to him as openly as you can.