First Date Tips for People over 50 - dummies

First Date Tips for People over 50

By Pepper Schwartz

Dating again after 50 can be nerve-wracking if you have not dated in awhile. Ultimately, the first date’s success depends on how well you connect with each other, and that really depends on how well you communicate.

Communication is a combination of what you say, what you don’t say, how you listen, and what your habits and body language transmit. Communication helps build chemistry. All these things to remember may seem complex or even overwhelming, but the basic rules of communication are actually pretty straightforward.

Before your date, think about what to talk about and what to say or not say. If you don’t, you may bring up topics that create tension, disinterest, or even anger. You want topics that interest both of you, that are respectful, and that help you get to know — and hopefully like — each other better.

Much of who people are is defined by how they spend their days. Here are the principles to keep in mind when talking about work:

  • How you feel about your work and how you describe it says a lot about you. Think about what this listener would like to know about you: Are you disciplined? Hardworking? Imaginative? Say something that gives your date an idea of your work and shows good sides of your character.

  • Dates feel comfortable if you start out with what you like about your job. You can always add some criticisms later. If you get into a rant, you may come off as a malcontent. Complain with a close friend, not with a first date.

  • Figure out how to make what you do interesting to someone not in your field. Don’t use technical terms (boring). If you don’t work outside the home, talk about something you do that’s interesting and important to you.

    Are you on a board, do you run something for your church, or do you handle a complex web of duties related to your children’s school? Say things that give your date a sense of what you do on a regular basis.