Dating After 50: What Do Your Friends Think? - dummies

Dating After 50: What Do Your Friends Think?

By Pepper Schwartz

Copyright © 2014 AARP. All rights reserved.

Your good friend’s reaction to your date can be tricky. You need feedback from someone, and your close friend knows you well and has an opinion about who’s good for you and who’s not. So this person is important for a reality check.

On the other hand, if the verdict isn’t what you want to hear and you’re going to date this person anyway, the feedback may be difficult to absorb and may put a crimp in your friendship or affect social situations that involve your close friend and your date. Consider describing to your friend what you do and don’t want to hear from the beginning. For example:

  • What do you think are her strong points?

  • What do you think may cause some incompatibilities?

  • Please don’t comment on her looks or her clothes. I just want observations about how you think I seem when I’m with her.

  • Please don’t compare her to my ex. I know the situation is completely different, but even if you think it’s similar, I just don’t want to discuss that right now.

Never tell your date that someone in your inner circle doesn’t like her, and never reveal any specific comments from a friend (or anyone else), unless it’s a rave review.

If your date knows about some negative remarks and you become serious, knowledge of this remark may seriously impede any friendship your date may have started with your friend, and she may even refuse to spend social time with your friend.