Dating After 50: Finding Dates in New Places - dummies

Dating After 50: Finding Dates in New Places

By Pepper Schwartz

Copyright © 2014 AARP. All rights reserved.

When you’re beginning to date after 50, you could find strength in weak ties. The man who cleans your clothes may have the secret name you need. Or you could find a promising date through a student of yours, a client, or the woman who cuts your hair.

Ask people you know for names of possible dates

Much of what people accomplish in life happens through the suggestions of people who aren’t in their inner circle. You may see your hairdresser only occasionally, but she knows your life, at least on a superficial level. And if you tell her that you’re looking for dates, she may come up with some great suggestions about a friend or another customer.

Here’s an additional list of people you may mention your new mission to:

  • Your child’s teacher

  • The people you bike or run with

  • Colleagues

  • People you’re working with on a committee

  • People at a cocktail party

  • Distant relatives

  • Friends you know and keep up with through social media

  • The people who work at the stores you frequent

  • Anyone with whom you get into more than a five minute conversation!

Keep an eye out in public spaces

One of the places you find people outside your usual network is in public spaces. If you commute by train or fly a lot, check out people in the waiting room or airport and see whether they look good to you. Go sit by them and engage them in conversation by bringing up your day or talking about commuting or travel issues.

People who don’t want to be social will answer in brief sentences and turn away to their work or something else. If they do want to talk, you can express how difficult it is when schedules get fouled up because there’s no one at home to feed your dog, or something like that — something to give a hint that you’re single.

Ask the person if he’s planning the upcoming holidays with his family or some other question that may tell you whether he’s married or in a relationship. This isn’t always the case, but more often than not, people will tip you off as to their marital status on purpose or just because of the questions you ask.

These “stranger interviews” can quickly become flirtatious and build positive energy. Sometimes the person isn’t available, but the conversation is still fun, and you’re building your dating skill set!

Other times, the connection is fast and powerful, and you start dating. What you have to do, though, is be observant and pick out someone you may like to talk to, and then actually do it. Neither step is easy, but after you get the hang of it, you may like the challenge.