Dating After 50: Advice from Friends or Family - dummies

Dating After 50: Advice from Friends or Family

By Pepper Schwartz

Copyright © 2014 AARP All rights reserved.

Your family and friends are going to be very interested in the fact that you’re dating after 50. Out of goodwill, and perhaps general nosiness, they’ll want to know who you’re seeing and what you’re doing. If your family and friends are like most people, they’ll all feel compelled to give you advice.

Whether that advice is good is a judgment you have to make. But here are some issues to ponder:

  • Are they projecting their needs and values onto you?

  • Are they making you feel stronger and better (good) or more worried and insecure (bad if it’s not justified)?

  • Do they generally have better insights than you do about situations?

  • Are they giving you advice about things that are none of their business?

If you feel that their advice is useful and helping you move forward, by all means take it. But if their advice isn’t welcome or useful, this is another time to draw boundaries. Thank them politely, and move on.

If that would be offensive to them, then just say you’re reading up on the topic and getting lots of information and advice, and you need to digest it. You can tell them that later on (by which you mean much later on, maybe never), you’ll ask for their advice.