4 Online Profile Tips for Daters over 50 - dummies

4 Online Profile Tips for Daters over 50

By Pepper Schwartz

Online dating for people over 50 has become normal. Most people have thought about it, and a lot of people have done it. You may have tried it yourself but found it daunting or had a bad experience and gave up.

Though online dating is for everyone, it’s for almost everyone, and one try doesn’t fully explore its possibilities. Online dating is, in most ways, the most efficient, best way to date a lot of people, and it’s particularly functional for older people.

Make sure your profile meets basic requirements

A good profile has two required parts: a description of the kind of person you are, including a section on your hobbies, passions, and outlook on life; and an appealing description of who you’re looking for.

In the first part, give some background information: married, divorced, with kids, and the like. You can talk about what kind of work you do, or did, and how you spend most of your free time. You can talk about your lifestyle and what kinds of things you’d like to share with someone. After that discussion, you can talk about who that someone might be.

Here you want to be careful. You want to be clear about who you’re looking for, but you don’t want to sound like you want the perfect human being and nothing less will do. This isn’t the time to give long lists of characteristics and physical attributes.

You want to prioritize your preferences and list the most important ones. If you write a laundry list of requirements, most people will be offended and think you’re arrogant (even though they may secretly have a pretty long list, too).

You want to say what’s most important to you and what’s preferable but not necessary. Help people know whether you’re looking for them, and save both of you wasted time and effort if they obviously don’t fit your most important priorities.

Show what’s truly important to you

One of the important things about these profiles is that they clearly show your personality and preferences and make a few statements that begin to tell the reader your priorities and values. You want to write about what’s important to you in the hopes that it will attract like-minded individuals and also that it will send people on to someone else’s profile if your profile doesn’t appeal to them.

Turning people away who wouldn’t be interested in you saves time — yours and theirs. The clearer you are about what’s important to you, the more likely you’ll attract the attention of someone you’d be very interested in and not someone who is totally on a different page in life.

Be specific about details of your experiences

Don’t be generic in the way you describe things. For example, instead of saying, “I like hiking,” say, “I love hiking in countries with historic sites. Last year I hiked to Stonehenge, and this year I intend to visit similar sites in Ireland.” Or, “My ambition is to hike some part of all the national parks because I’m never happier than when I’m camping in and walking through magnificent mountains.”

Be specific about experiences, even if you’re just describing your day-to-day life. For example, “My favorite kind of weekend day is to get up early, take a two-mile walk on one of my prescribed routes, go back and have an ultra-hot shower, and then meet a friend for coffee.

After that, it depends on the day, but it could be anything from fixing things around the house to going to one of the many blues or bluegrass clubs that are within walking distance of my place.”

Give off an air of confidence and positive energy

The more confident, friendly, and happy your tone, the more people will be drawn to you. Most people on dating sites are complete strangers to one another, and they’re looking for reassurance. They won’t think a lot of you if you sound depressed or angry; they want someone who is self-confident.

This can be a little tricky though; you want to sound self-confident but not arrogant. For example, “I started from nothing but slowly built up a business that now employs more than 100 people, many of whom, like me, came to the United States without speaking passable English.” That’s self-confident.

This, however, is arrogant: “I’m a very successful CEO, the first in my area of business to ever get the Sam Smith Award, and there have been a cascade of honors since then.” Hopefully, you can see the difference!

Part of how you sound depends on the words you use. Use bright, active words to describe your approach to life. Use evocative scenes to let someone see your soul.

“I’m always excited when I start a new continuing education class.”

“I’m such an avid sports fan that I have to be careful not to scare the people who sit near me when I scream with delight when we get a touchdown.”

“I’m a managing partner of an old, traditional law firm, so no one would know that I cry at sad movies, but I do, regularly.”