ETF-Trading Websites for Suckers - dummies

By Russell Wild

Market timing services are popping up all over the Internet. Why not? ETFs are hot. They are in the news. They sound so impressive. And there is a sucker born every minute.

Please, please, don’t fork over your money assuming that you’re going to get the secrets to instant wealth by trading ETFs. It won’t happen.

Following are just a few examples of the countless websites hoping to lure you in with big promises. There is no way to list them all, so be wary:


    Cost: $359/year for the “Platinum Plan”

    Direct from the website:, LLC is a financial service for investors and traders who want to increase their portfolios in the most non-stressful and effective way possible in both bullish and bearish markets! We have developed a market timing system that uses technical analysis for trading the popular Exchange Traded Funds (ETFs) — DIA, SPY, and QQQ, which has produced outstanding gains!

    Outstanding gains for whom?

    We are the home of the most honest, concise, credible (unbiased and zero-hype), low-risk, and one of the most effective financial websites on the Internet today!

    Glad that the hype is unbiased. The biased hype is so annoying.

  • Market Polygraph

    Cost: $816.65/month for investment professionals, but “only” $52.30/month for U.S. private investors.

    Direct from the website: Marketpolygraph provides proprietary market timing research to private and professional investors who receive decisive trading signals for specific exchange traded funds (ETFs). Our simple and direct market timing research entails only minutes of follow-up effort every month and represents the singular requirement for realizing exceptional investment returns.

    Only minutes a month, eh? It takes longer than that each day just to boot up your computer.

  • K.T. Short Term Trading Signals

    Cost (from the website): The yearly subscription fee is $250 for Combo MID term and short term OPEN. $250 for Combo MID term and short term CLOSE. And for $350, you get the Combo MID term and short term OPEN + CLOSE.

    Got any idea what any of the above means? Feel like hurting your brain by trying to find out.

    Direct from the website: The objective of all our short term trading models is to achieve unsurpassed all weather performance.

    Good objective.