Recognize Your Cruel and Judgmental Self-Talk - dummies

Recognize Your Cruel and Judgmental Self-Talk

By S. Renee Smith, Vivian Harte

Part of Self-Esteem For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Negative thoughts you have about yourself reflect your feelings about yourself. But realize that these are just your feelings — they’re not the actual truth. Most people began to have these feelings and thoughts in childhood. As an adult, you’re ready to understand that they’re not necessarily an accurate picture of reality and that you can change them into more positive thoughts. These are the methods your mind uses to deceive you into believing you have little worth:

  • Reading other people’s thoughts to put yourself down

  • Predicting a negative outcome will be inevitable

  • Thinking only in extremes — “always,” “everyone,” “never,” “forever”

  • Blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault

  • Labeling yourself in a derogatory fashion — “loser,” “failure,” “ugly”

  • Focusing only on the negative and disregarding the positive

  • Telling yourself you “should,” “ought to,” “have to” do or be something