Judaism Articles

Article / Updated 03-29-2022

Passover is both the most-celebrated Jewish holiday of the year and the holiday voted most likely to elicit a groan. People groan when they consider Passover's dietary requirements. They groan when they think of all the preparations. They even groan when they remember how much they overate during Passover last year. But the real irony behind the moaning, groaning, and kvetching is that in some ways this is exactly what you’re supposed to feel at this time of year. Passover is a celebration of spring, of birth and rebirth, of a journey from slavery to freedom, and of taking responsibility for yourself, the community, and the world. However, strangely enough, none of this taking of responsibility gets done without groaning. It was with groaning that the Hebrews expressed the pain of their ancient enslavement in Egypt more than 3,300 years ago. It was with groaning that they called attention to their plight. So groan, already! The Torah states that Jews are to observe Passover for seven days, beginning on the 15th of the Jewish month Nisan (usually in April). The first night always includes a special seder (ritual dinner). Plus, traditional Jews outside of Israel don’t work on either the first two or the last two days of the seven-day period. Outside of Israel, Jews celebrate a second seder on the second night of Passover. You can think of Passover as honoring the renewal of the sun (it’s always on the first full moon after the Vernal Equinox), or a time to step firmly into springtime. You can also think of Passover as celebrating the Jewish people’s “birth certificate” and “Declaration of Independence.” Or you can think of it as memorializing something that God did for the Jews 3,300 years ago. However, to make any celebration or ritual truly meaningful, you must find a way to make it personal. Even Moses — and later the rabbis of the Talmud — recognized this when they instructed the Jewish people how to celebrate Passover. The key isn’t only to tell the story of the Exodus, or even to compare your life to the story of the Exodus, but to actually personalize the history: feel the feelings and experience the sensations of this journey. In this way, the Jewish people as individuals and as a people move forward. Everything a person does during Passover aids this process. Jewish people have four Hebrew names for Passover, each pointing to a particular aspect of the holiday. The most common Hebrew name is Pesach, which is usually translated as “passing over,” as the Angel of Death passed over the homes of the Jews in Egypt. (Killing the Egyptian first-born was the tenth plague, and it convinced the Pharaoh to release the Hebrews from slavery.) But there are three more Hebrew names for Passover: Chag Ha-matzot (“Festival of Unleavened Breads”), Z’man Cheiruteinu (“The Time of Liberation”), and Chag Ha-aviv (“Festival of Spring”).

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-14-2022

The Torah (the Five Books of Moses) is the essential book of Judaism and a manual for living. If you don't read Hebrew, study an English translation so you can understand and follow the basic principles to guide personal behavior and the Ten Commandments (taken from the Book of Exodus).

Cheat Sheet / Updated 02-22-2022

Understanding Judaism begins with looking at significant historical events that shaped the Jewish culture and learning the Hebrew alphabet, Jewish blessings, and Jewish words and phrases.

Article / Updated 01-26-2022

The Ten Commandments may be the most well-known part of the Torah. Interestingly, two versions of the Ten Commandments exist in the Torah: one in the book of Exodus and one in the book of Dueteronomy. The Ten Commandments according to Jewish tradition also differ from the Ten Commandments of various Christian denominations. The following Ten Commandments are from the book of Exodus in the Torah: I am the Lord your God. "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery." (Exodus 20:2) You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself an idol. "You shall not recognize other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth." (Exodus 20:3–4) You shall not take the name of God in vain. "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in vain." (Exodus 20:7) Remember and observe the Sabbath and keep it holy. "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male or your female servant, your animal or your stranger within your gates." (Exodus 20:8–10) Honor your father and mother. "Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you." (Exodus 20:12) You shall not murder. "You shall not murder." (Exodus 20:13) You shall not commit adultery. "You shall not commit adultery." (Exodus 20:13) You shall not steal. "You shall not steal." (Exodus 20:13) You shall not bear false witness. "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." (Exodus 20:13) You shall not covet your neighbor's wife or house. "You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor." (Exodus 20:14)

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

It isn't surprising that the Torah places great value on the family unit; after all, the Jewish people as a whole are considered to be a family, as implied by the phrase "the Children of Israel." Even though a few million people stood at Mount Sinai to receive the Torah, the entire group knew itself to be one large family, with all descended from Jacob, the patriarch. In a sense, the entire Torah is really the rules and history of one large family, but within the Torah you find many specific commandments designed to regulate the individual family unit. Be fruitful and multiply The Torah contains 613 commandments, and the first one found in the first chapter of the first book is the commandment to have children: "And God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply and fill the land and conquer it, and you shall rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the sky, and all the animals that move upon the earth'" (Genesis 1:28). Honor your father and mother Honoring your father and your mother is known in Hebrew as kibbud av v'em (kih-bood ahv vah-eem). It's one of the Ten Commandments, but there are other verses in the Torah that also concern themselves with how to treat your parents. They are as follows: "Honor your father and your mother in order that your days shall be lengthened upon this land that the Lord your God has given you." (Exodus 20:12) "He who smites his father or his mother shall surely be put to death." (Exodus 21:15) "He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death." (Exodus 21:17) "A man, his mother and his father shall he fear, and my Sabbaths shall he guard, I am the Lord your God." (Leviticus 19:3) Just married? Take a year off An unusual set of commandments in the Torah pertains to a newly married couple. The Torah teaches that a newly married husband shall be free for one year to rejoice with his wife: "When a man takes a new wife, he shall not enter military service, nor shall he be charged with any business; he shall be free for his house one year, and shall cheer his wife whom he has taken" (Deuteronomy 24:5). The wife's rights are just as important as the husband's The Torah protects the rights of wives in many ways. To mention just one example, Jewish law states that if a husband wants to change careers, his wife can forbid him to do so if it means that he will be away from home more often and therefore will not be able to make love as often as the wife would like. The Torah states, "If he takes a wife, her food, her clothing, and her conjugal rights, he shall not diminish" (Exodus 21:10). Steer clear of forbidden relationships According to the Torah, sexual relations are confined to being between a husband and wife. It's forbidden to have sex with another person outside of the marriage as well as to have sex with an animal. Here are the relevant verses: "And you shall not lie carnally with your neighbor's wife, to defile yourself with her" (Leviticus 18:20). Note that although the technical definition of adultery according to the Torah only pertains to the wife, tradition also forbids extramarital relations by the husband because, at one time, polygamy was a common practice. "And you shall not lie with any beast to defile yourself with it; neither shall any woman stand before a beast, to lie down with it; it is perversion." (Leviticus 18:23)

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

Judaism, a religion that focuses far more on deeds than on beliefs, is a practice, too. Because Judaism is a set of practices, it's called a Way of Life. These practices, particularly when they are vehicles through which an individual connects more consciously to God, are called mitzvot (mitz VOTE; plural of mitzvah). The word mitzvah means "commandment," or "religious act." Mitzvot consist of ritual as well as ethical acts, and they follow from the codifications of principles from the Torah. Some practices fall under the category of minhag (custom), like wearing the head covering (kippah or yarmulka). Undoubtedly the most famous mitzvot are those called "The Ten Commandments" or the "Decalogue." The Bible never refers to them specifically as "commandments," perhaps because they were seen as so basic and fundamental to the community. (The ten principles, when numbered according to Jewish tradition, differ slightly from the Christian numbering.) For traditionalists, the answer to the question "Why perform mitzvot?" is easy. They say the commandments of the Torah represent the Will of God. However, even traditionalists make exceptions in life-threatening situations, when one is required to let go of the mitzvot and save life. The exceptions to that exception are the mitzvot prohibiting idolatry, murder, and adultery (or incest.) Going to shul/synagogue/Temple You may have heard people talk about "going to Temple" to pray or worship. However, most Jews don't call the house of worship "Temple," preferring instead to reserve that word for The Temple in Jerusalem (the one that was destroyed by the Babylonians in 586 B.C.E., rebuilt and then destroyed by the Romans in 70 C.E.). Some Reform congregations still use "Temple," but it's becoming rare. Today, English-speaking Jews tend to call the Jewish place of worship a "synagogue." Many people also use the Yiddish word shul (from the German word for "school"). Every synagogue is different in physical style, attitude, and even practice. You can find similarities, however, such as where the Torah is kept and what sorts of clergy you'll find there. In every synagogue you usually find the following three items: The Aron Kodesh is the ark that holds the Torah scrolls. In Western countries, it's always on the east wall (so, facing it, you're facing Jerusalem). The Ner Tamid is the "eternal light," which often burns above the ark. This symbolizes the menorah from the ancient Temple. The bimah (a raised platform), where the Torah is read and the service is led. Synagogues, for the most part, reflect the sanctuary style of the dominant culture. For example, many synagogues in the Middle East look almost like mosques, and those in England tend to look more like churches. However, you rarely see statues of animals or people in a synagogue because of the commandment "Thou shalt not make graven images!" (One notable exception is the often-seen "Lion of Judah," the insignia of the ancient Kingdom of Judea.) Who's who at shul Many people behind the scenes help make worship services run, but the focus is usually on two people: the rabbi and the cantor. The rabbi While a rabbi is not necessary to conduct religious services, most congregations do employ one. The rabbi is also an educator, a counselor, and the officiator at life-cycle events like baby-namings, Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremonies, weddings, and funerals. It generally takes over five years of post-graduate work to become a rabbi. The cantor In a traditional synagogue, the cantor (chazan in Hebrew) actually leads worship services. In most other synagogues, the cantor performs solo musical prayer selections and leads community singing. Cantors bring great musical and liturgical depth to the community. There are specific training programs for cantors, usually associated with the various rabbinical schools. A brief guide to what's kosher The word kosher is so well-known that it's become part of the common English language, meaning something that's allowed, legal, or proper. However, in Judaism, kosher almost exclusively relates to food: what Jews are and are not allowed to eat. The Jewish dietary laws are called kashrut, and they're so complex that whole volumes have been written on them. Following is a sampling of these rules: Animals with cloven hooves that chew their cud are kosher, including cattle, sheep, goats, and deer. Other mammals, like pigs, camels, and hares, aren't kosher. Not only are they not to be eaten, but no products that derive from them are kosher. Certain procedures must be followed to ensure a humane slaughter. For example, the animal's throat must be cut by a trained ritual slaughterer, using a single slice of an extremely sharp knife that has no nicks. Certain parts of animals aren't kosher, like the sciatic nerve in the hindquarters. Unfortunately, not only are these parts difficult to remove, they also include some of the choicest cuts, which is why it's rare to find kosher filet mignon, rump and sirloin steaks, leg of lamb, or London broil. Seafood is kosher as long as it has fins and scales. Shellfish like lobsters, oysters, shrimp, octopus, clams, and crabs are forbidden. Some fish, like swordfish and sturgeon, have scales that are questionable, so they're usually considered not kosher. Domesticated fowl — chicken, turkey, quail, Cornish hens, doves, geese, duck, and pheasant — are kosher, but birds of prey (like eagles and hawks) are not. All reptiles, insects, and amphibians are not kosher. Note that some food additives and colorings are made from insects, so those items are prohibited, too. Kashrut laws extend to any item that Jews eat, or that touches the food that Jews eat, so you may even hear of kosher aluminum foil or plastic bags, which ensure that the manufacturer used only kosher organic oils in the process of pressing the foil or making the bags. Similarly, most hard cheeses contain rennet, which is often obtained from the stomach linings of non-kosher animals, making the whole cheese non-kosher. The reasons behind kosher Everyone loves to conjecture why or how these laws came about. Some say they're for health reasons — because under-cooked pork can carry disease, for example — but this explanation is unlikely. Here are a few possibilities to chew on. First, maintaining specific dietary regulations strengthens and defines the integrity of a group. A community that shares requirements for eating tends to stay together. Similarly, eating practices can help identify the line between one tribe and another. For example, some scholars believe the prohibition against eating pork resulted from the desire to be different from the neighboring tribes. Kashrut also forces Jews to be forever thoughtful of what they put into their bodies. Many meditative traditions encourage mindful eating, but Judaism turns it into a law. In this way, Jews show that humans can make choices from free will rather than catering to every desire. Kashrut is a discipline, a practice, that many Jews believe elevates eating to a religious ritual. Jewish tradition recognizes that all life is holy, and no animal should be killed carelessly or painfully.

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

While some religious traditions forbid divorce, Judaism does not. In the Torah, divorce is viewed as a common and acceptable occurrence (Deuteronomy 24:1–4), and although the Talmud teaches that the "altar in heaven weeps" on the occasion of a divorce, there's no requirement that a husband and wife continue their marriage if they're miserable together. A Jewish marriage has two levels: One is spiritual, and the other is down-to-earth and quite practical. The practical aspect of marriage is reflected in the fact that Jewish marriages are finalized by a contract. The contract is mostly about the rights of the parties and the terms if a divorce occurs. Yes, when a Jewish couple gets married, they sign a document that has a lot to do with what happens in the case of a divorce. When a divorce occurs, the marriage contract is fulfilled and then destroyed, severing both the spiritual and the physical connections between the two people. Here are some rules of divorce according to the Torah: A man may not divorce his wife concerning whom he has published an evil report (about her unchastity) before marriage. "And they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver, and give them to the father of the woman, because he has brought an evil name upon a virgin of Israel; and she shall be his wife; he may not divorce her all his days." (Deuteronomy 22:19) A divorce must be enacted by a formal written document. "When a man takes a wife, and marries her, then it comes to pass that she does not find favor in his eyes, because he has found something unseemly in her, then he writes her a bill of divorce, and gives it in her hand, and sends her out of his house." (Deuteronomy 24:1) The topic of divorce provides a good example of how the Torah can't simply be read literally. Deuteronomy 24:1 makes it seem as though only a husband can initiate a divorce. The fact is that the Oral Torah explains how both husband and wife have rights and responsibilities in a marriage, including the right to go to a Jewish court to request that the marriage be dissolved. A man who divorced his wife shall not remarry her if she married another man after the divorce. "Her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife. After that she is defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not cause sin in the land which the Lord thy God gives you as an inheritance." (Deuteronomy 24:4)

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

In Jewish tradition, the way to find the path to God is to study the Torah. In addition to all its teachings about behavior and ritual, the Torah is also the main source for information about the nature of God. By studying the Torah and seeing the way in which it describes God, students begin to understand some of God's nature. God exists eternally According to the Torah's view of existence, God is the source of everything, and God is eternal — He is, He was, and He will be. The first of the Ten Commandments, "I am the Lord thy God," is the commandment to recognize God's existence. This simple statement is at the core of all Jewish belief and everything that the Torah represents. God isn't a "He" The Torah is written in Hebrew, and its references to God often use the masculine form. As in English, the use of male pronouns often has no relation to gender; for example, people talk about "mankind" when they really mean "humankind." In the Torah, God isn't a male, and any effort to conceive of God as a male is limiting and therefore is forbidden according to the tradition of the Torah. Using gender-specific pronouns in reference to God is merely a linguistic limitation. God is a single entity A prayer known as the Shema (sheh-mah) is recited twice a day in Jewish life, and its words come from the Torah. Its lead sentence, which is best known among Jews, is Shema Yisrael Adonai Elohaynu Adonai Ekhad (sheh-mah yis-rah-ehl ah-doe-nahy eh-low-hay-new ah-doe-nahy eh-khahd; Hear O Israel, the Lord our God the Lord is One). In other words, the daily ritual among Jews establishes and repeats the view of God as One. God is everywhere — yes, everywhere Jewish teachings describe God as omnipresent. With the idea that God is everywhere and both near and far, it's important to make a distinction between the Torah view of God and pantheism. The point of view of the Torah is that everything resides in God, whereas pantheism is marked by the notion that everything is God. One way that God is described in Jewish liturgy is Aviynu Malkaynu (ah-vee-new mahl-kay-new; our Father our king). This phrase implies that God is both near and far. Your father is close and familiar; you can sit on your father's lap and touch his cheek. A king, on the other hand, is someone whom you may never see in your lifetime. God stretches out His arm, but He has no arms Students of the Torah constantly confront a seeming contradiction within the text. The Torah makes it clear that no person can conceive of God, and yet at times it describes God in human terms. A famous image from the Torah is of the "outstretched arm of God." The Torah says, "I am God, and I shall take you out from under the burdens of Egypt. I shall rescue you from their service. I shall redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments" (Exodus 6:6). An outstretched arm is a very concrete image. Yet it's forbidden by Jewish law to conceive of God in any concrete way or to limit God with any image. So how do you reconcile this image? An important principle of Torah study is that "the Torah speaks in the language of man." This notion, repeated so often in commentaries on the Torah throughout the centuries, is a reminder that people use finite images to grasp the infinite, knowing full well the impossibility of the task. These human concrete images make suggestions, but Torah literature throughout the ages warns Torah students to beware of the ways in which concrete images can get in the way rather than clarify.

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

Even though the Torah is mainly about God, it's also important to remember that the Torah's author is God. Although the first line of the Torah says, "In the beginning of God's creation of heaven and earth . . .," it's God who is speaking. God chose Moses to receive and write down a divine message, which is why the Torah is also known as the Five Books of Moses, but the Torah emanates from God. God reaches into the human world with the Torah. Jewish tradition teaches that God didn't create the world out of nothing. God's creation is an emanation of divine light that God sculpted into all that exists. God is not just "in" everything. Rather, everything is God. This is, of course, a paradox. On the one hand, people live their lives feeling separate from God, but at the same time, Jewish tradition teaches that on the deepest level everything is God. In studying the Torah, you'll often encounter paradoxes. Many spiritual teachers teach that when you encounter a paradox, it usually means that you're going in the right direction. The endless struggle to grasp and understand what is meant by God is both the most important activity of life and, at the same time, an impossible task. The study of Torah is the way in which Jews participate in this paradoxical struggle. Some of the ideas that students of the Torah struggle with include: Humans are created in God's image. God has many names, but no name can possibly be adequate. God exists. God has no gender. God is unique; nothing is like God is any way. God is everywhere. God is, was, and will be; God transcends time. God is beyond human comprehension. The Torah is mainly God's communication to people about how to behave. Most of the Torah is directed toward the Jewish people, although it also contains instructions for all other peoples of the world. But for reasons that only God knows, the Jewish people are given extra burdens and responsibilities. God chose the Jewish people, but in no way does this status of being chosen by God imply superiority. People have responsibilities to God and to each other, and the Torah is filled with instructions about how to fulfill both. Regarding a person's relationship to God, the Torah stresses Connecting with God through God's commandments Having faith in God Maintaining trust in God Accepting direction from God Understanding that God directs everything that occurs Struggling to comprehend God Communicating with God through prayer

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

Judaism honors and celebrates the major stages of life with rituals, including the bris (circumcision for boys), Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, weddings, and funeral rites. The cutting edge ritual After a child is born, he or she is greeted by parents, family, and community, and is given a name. Often, a rabbi says special blessings over the child in synagogue, too. For boys, this process is combined with a short ceremony called a brit milah (many American Jews call it by its Ashkenazi pronunciation, "bris." Brit milah means "covenant of circumcision" The Bible (Genesis 17:10) says that Abraham made a deal with God: Abraham's wife, Sarah, will bear a child (Isaac), and their descendents will possess the Promised Land. In exchange, God wanted Abraham and every male child to be circumcised. Given that Abraham was 99 years old at the time, it's impressive that he agreed to this deal. But agree he did, and ever since then Jewish parents have continued the covenant. The bris is a rite of passage, unconsciously for the child (who is obviously in no position to make a covenant), and deliberately by the parents of the child. Some rabbis teach that the bris is a symbol of taking control over animal nature — an obvious reminder that men can control sexual urges and lustful appetites. But ultimately, it's important to remember that the brit milah connects a boy to hundreds of generations of men before him, each of whom had a bris on the eighth day of his life. Thanking God for little girls While blessings are often said welcoming both girls and boys in the synagogue, the lack of a more intimate celebration and naming ceremony for girls has historically meant that the birth of a girl has appeared less notable. The Reform movement introduced a home naming ceremony for girls, too, and more recently this ceremony has become common practice in Conservative and even some Orthodox communities. The ceremony can include the child being passed from one family member to another, blessings over wine and the baby girl, the naming, and often a symbolic ritual that takes the place of the circumcision. For example, the parents may wash the baby's hands and feet, or immerse her body (not head) in water. Bar and bat mitzvahs Jewish tradition says that when girls turn 12 and boys turn 13, they take on new responsibilities in the community. In traditional congregations, this is the point at which boys are expected to start performing daily prayers in a minyan (prayer group). There are fewer external changes for girls, though they are expected to learn the ways of keeping a home. Even though in today's world no one expects these teenagers to suddenly become adults after the ceremony, it's important to honor this change with ritual. In Judaism, every boy is automatically Bar Mitzvah at age 13 and a day, and every girl is Bat Mitzvah at age 12 and a day. The traditional Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony requires study and discipline on the part of the boy or girl. They must learn enough Hebrew to read from the Torah and master enough Jewish history and law to understand the context of what they're reading. To prepare, kids take classes and often work one-on-one with their rabbi, cantor, or teacher, focusing on their portion of the Torah. Get me to the chuppah on time In Judaism, weddings are profoundly holy acts, as important as living and dying. In fact, the marriage ceremony is so sacred that it's called kiddushin ("sanctification"). Most weddings include eight basic symbols and rituals: the marriage canopy (or chuppah), the wine, the rings, the seven blessings, breaking a glass, the marriage contract (ketubah), the bedeken (the veiling before the ceremony), and the yichud (when the newly married couple spends a few minutes alone after the ceremony). Following are a few highlights: The marriage canopy: Also called a chuppah, the canopy is held over the heads of the bride and groom. The chuppah is a symbol of a new home being created. Breaking the glass: Probably the most well-known Jewish ritual is the custom of stomping on a glass (wrapped in a napkin, as a safety measure) at the conclusion of a Jewish wedding. Traditionalists say the shattered glass refers to the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. Others view the breaking glass as a reminder that even at a time of great joy, shattering losses are also important parts of human experience. Whatever the case, as soon as the glass is broken, everyone in attendance shouts "Mazel tov!" Marriage contract: The terms of the ketubah, or marriage contract between bride and groom, are negotiated long before the wedding — much like today's prenuptial agreements. While in recent years more liberal Jews have taken to writing their own ketubot — usually focusing more on the spiritual and interpersonal aspects of their relationship — the traditional ketubah long used by Orthodox Jews is clearly an unromantic legal document that spells out the financial obligations of each partner. Stepping through the valley Judaism is very clear on what you do immediately after someone dies. First, upon witnessing or hearing about a death, Jews traditionally recite a blessing: Blessed are You, Eternal One our God, Universal Ruler, the True Judge. You may also hear people use a shorter version: "Blessed is the one true Judge". Then, everything done between death and the funeral focuses on respecting and honoring the person who has just died, as well as preparing for the funeral and burial. Judaism believes that the funeral should happen as quickly after death as possible — preferably the same or next day, although the funeral is often postponed a day or two if family must travel from out of town. Also, funerals aren't held on Shabbat or other holidays. It's also traditional for the body not to be left alone, and people take turns being a shomer ("guard"), reciting Psalms next to the deceased until the funeral. Sometimes people are paid to serve as a shomer. Much of the focus in Jewish tradition regarding death revolves around returning the body to the earth in a consecrated Jewish cemetery as quickly and naturally as possible — a respectful appreciation that death is a natural part of life. Just before the funeral, close relatives of the deceased observe the rite of k'riah, making a small rip — in a tie, a coat, a blouse, or perhaps the sleeve of a dress — as a symbol of grief. Many Jews pin a black ribbon to their jacket and then tear that. The point is that Judaism doesn't want you to just show up; it wants you to really show your grief, without regard to vanity or decorum, and the k'riah is like ripping open a bag of grief to allow the tears and strong emotions to fall out. At the end of the funeral, when the casket is lowered into the ground, the closest family or friends throw the first dirt over it, often using a shovel or even their hands. By forcing the mourners to actively participate in the burial, to hear the earth landing on the casket, Jewish tradition ensures that people recognize the reality of death and helps them begin the process of letting go.