Managing Childhood Anxiety For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Anxiety is a feeling that is rooted in the emotion of fear. Anxiety is protective, necessary, and part of being a human. But when worries and fears become all-consuming or irrational, anxiety has the power to pull children away from the things they love and want to do. If this happens, normal anxiety becomes an anxiety disorder. This Cheat Sheet covers types of childhood anxiety, when to seek professional help, and how to provide support at home and on the go.

Types of childhood anxiety

There are different types of anxiety disorders in kids, mostly determined by age and the specific trigger. Regardless of the type of anxiety a child may have, all anxiety has the same biological difficulty with fear interpretation and response.

• Specific phobias: A child has a specific phobia when they have an intense, lasting fear of a specific thing — like dogs, the dark, or thunderstorms — that’s much bigger than the actual danger and makes them want to avoid it no matter what.
• Separation anxiety: Kids with separation anxiety feel really scared or upset when they have to be away from their parent or caregiver, even if they’re safe and everything is okay.
• Generalized anxiety: Generalized anxiety is when a child worries a lot about many different things — like school, family, or the future — even when there’s no clear reason to be so worried.
• Social anxiety: When a child feels really nervous or scared about being judged, embarrassed, or watched by others, especially in social or group settings, they may have social anxiety.
• Panic disorder: Panic disorder is when a kid has sudden, intense bursts of fear called panic attacks, where their heart races, they feel dizzy or can’t breathe well, and they worry something terrible is happening — even if there’s no real danger.

Anxiety disorders are caused by multiple factors, not just your influence as a parent. There are plenty of families with both anxious and non-anxious kids — who have the same parents! Your child’s anxiety is never something to blame yourself for, but it is something you can acknowledge and support.

When to get professional help for anxious children

If your child’s worries and fears continue to escalate or interfere with what they love to do, it may be time to seek out professional help. The following are a few questions to ask yourself if you think your young child may need professional help for anxiety:

• Is my child’s worry or fear happening more often or lasting longer than expected for their age?
• Is anxiety getting in the way of everyday life — like school, sleep, play, or family time?
• Does my child avoid certain people, places, or activities out of fear or worry — even things they used to enjoy?
• Does my child complain frequently of stomachaches, headaches, or other physical symptoms with no clear cause?
• Is my child unusually clingy, tearful, or irritable when separated from me or other caregivers?
• Does my child seek constant reassurance and struggle to feel better even after being comforted?
• Have their fears become more intense or spread to other parts of their life?
• Are their reactions out of proportion to the situation, like panic over small changes or meltdowns during transitions?
• Am I changing my family’s routine or behavior often to help my child avoid anxiety triggers?
• Do I feel stuck, unsure how to help, or that my efforts to calm or reassure them aren’t working anymore?

If you answer yes to several of these questions, it’s a good idea to check in with your child’s pediatrician or a mental health professional who specializes in working with children. Early support can really help build resilience and healthy coping tools.

Anxiety is common and treatable in young children. If you have any questions or concerns about your child’s mental wellness, connect with a healthcare provider you trust.

Finding therapy (and maybe medication) for anxious kids

After a child is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, the next step is determining how best to bring their symptoms into remission. A comprehensive anxiety medical plan includes three parts: therapy, home support, and (sometimes) medication. Your child’s health provider will prioritize these areas for you. This section covers therapy, medication, and supplements.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the gold standard for the treatment of childhood anxiety. Therapy helps kids build healthy brain pathways so they can manage their fears in a healthy way. Kids don’t have to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder before they connect with a therapist for help about worries or fears. If you’re thinking about connecting with a therapist, talk to your child’s healthcare provider.

A variety of medications can be used to safely and effectively treat childhood anxiety. Medications are reserved for very specific behaviors and not recommended to all children with anxiety. If your child’s doctor recommends medication as part of your child’s comprehensive treatment plan, it’s normal and expected for you to have lots of questions. The following are a few questions you should be sure to ask:

• What specific anxiety symptoms indicate that medication is necessary?
• What are the potential benefits and risks of this medication for my child?
• Are there nonmedication treatments we should try first or alongside medication?
• What side effects should we watch for, and how can we manage them?
• How long does it take to see improvements, and how will we track progress?
• Is this medication meant for short-term use, or will my child need it long-term?
• How do we safely adjust or stop the medication if needed?
• How will you be following my child’s progress?

There is some evidence that enhancing nutritional support can improve anxiety symptoms. Around the world, supplements are regulated in a variety of ways, making generalized advice difficult. Most kids will get all the nutrients they need from a balanced diet. However, there are a few nutritional elements to ensure your child consumes regularly. These include foods with iron, magnesium, omega-3s, and vitamin D.

If your child doesn’t eat these types of foods regularly, your child’s doctor may recommend a supplement. Talk with your child’s doctor to see what they recommend.

Providing support at home for an anxious child

Providing predictable and stable support at home is one way to support your child with anxiety. Making a decision to prioritize restorative sleep, routine exercise, and healthy nutrition will buffer anxiety’s negative effects. In addition, making an effort to provide routines, screen-time boundaries, and time for unstructured play will add ease to your child’s day.

When your child starts to show anxiety symptoms, be prepared with ways to support your child through the moment. The following are fast ways to stop anxiety in its tracks:

• Validate. Let your child know their feelings are real and understood. This builds emotional safety and reduces the intensity of their fear.
• Use firm touch. When stress hormones are raging, grounding techniques like firm touch help an anxious child stay connected to the moment.
• Co-regulate. Choose your favorite coping skill, like deep breathing, and start modeling how you use it to calm down. Encourage your child to join in when they are ready.
• Problem-solve. Anxious kids need help to find alternate ways to deal with stress. Walk through the problem at hand, allowing them to come up with solutions to solve the issue.
• Distract. Shift your child’s focus away from the fear or worry and give their brain something else to think about or do.
• Stimulate the nervous system. Maneuvers that calm the nervous system help to decrease many of anxiety’s symptoms. Simple and effective examples include putting ice cubes in their hands to hold or offering a strongly flavored gum to chew.
• Give a task. Asking your child to do a task when they are anxious keeps the thinking brain engaged, making emotion modification easier.
• Move. Decrease stress by moving your body. Take a walk outside or do a few jumping jacks.
• Stay calm yourself. Kids model what they see. When you stay calm in times of stress, they will more quickly calm themselves.

How to make a calming kit for anxious kids

One way to help your child — especially on the go — is to pack a few items that can help to comfort and distract them during anxious moments. Find a few ideas here:

• Fidget toy or stress ball: This gives the child something to squeeze or manipulate, helping release nervous energy and focus their hands.
• Calm-down glitter jar or snow globe: Watching the swirling glitter settle can slow breathing and provide a visual cue to relax.
• Headphones with calming music or white noise: This can help to block out overstimulating environments and offers soothing sounds to regulate mood.
• A small stuffed animal or comfort object: These items can provide a sense of security and emotional grounding, especially for younger kids.
• Scented item: Calming scents like lavender or chamomile can activate relaxation through the sense of smell.
• Mini coloring book and crayons or a doodle pad: Creative expression can distract the brain from anxious thoughts and calm the body through focused activity.
• Bubbles or a pinwheel: These items encourage slow, controlled breaths in a fun and visual way.
• A short affirmation card or reminder note from a parent: Phrases like “You are safe” or “You’ve done hard things before” can build confidence and reassurance.
• Healthy snack or gum: Chewing or having a small snack can be grounding, especially if anxiety is tied to hunger or overstimulation.

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