Amber Lea Starfire

Amber Lea Starfire is a writer and writing coach who has published two memoirs and several journaling how-to books. She has also developed a series of online classes and workshops that have helped hundreds of people journal and deepen their writing practice. Find out more at www.writingthroughlife.com.

Articles From Amber Lea Starfire

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4 results
What Is Reflective Journaling?

Article / Updated 02-01-2023

Listen to the article:Download audio Reflective journaling is a structured approach to journaling that focuses on finding meaning in life events by asking questions, such as “What happened?” “How did I respond?” and “How did this event change me?” Through the reflective journaling process, you can examine your thoughts, interpretations, and belief systems to become more self-aware and to grow from your life experiences. In addition, the reflective writing practice can improve your ability to challenge assumptions and think creatively. Exploring life with reflective journaling When you picture yourself journaling, you likely see yourself writing in a free-form fashion about thoughts, feelings, and whatever comes to mind. This unstructured technique, referred to as free-writing, is probably the most well-known of all journaling methods. People usually free-write without a specific purpose. Similar to going on a Sunday afternoon drive without having a destination, you’re just out to see the sights, and maybe you meander down some side roads on a whim. Your drive may be a fun and relaxing activity that provides perspective on your neighborhood and its surroundings, and might possibly lead to somewhere new and exciting, but that’s not the intention. Like that Sunday drive, free-writing may lead to meaningful self-discoveries, but is most often just an exploration of familiar inner roads. On the other hand, reflective journaling combines intention with exploration. This type of journaling goes on that metaphorical Sunday drive with a final destination in mind. You can still explore interesting sights and meander down those side roads along the way, but you arrive at a meaningful destination. Your trip fulfills a purpose beyond just getting in the car and driving. Reflective journaling is a therapeutic practice that can help you identify, grow from, and find meaning in your past experiences. And the new perspective you gain along the way can change the way you respond to people and events in the future. We create our life stories by making meaning of events that happen in our lives. Reflective journaling allows you to reconsider those stories, to deeply explore all sides of an event, and to confirm or even rewrite those stories. You can use reflective journaling to examine events in the distant past, or events that happened just yesterday. You can also use it to reflect on important topics in your life: relationships, life passages, parenting, and more. Fortunately, like most journaling methods, you can quickly get the hang of reflective journaling. And, with practice, you can turn it into a powerful tool to enhance your understanding of your past, increase self-knowledge and self-awareness, help you change how you respond in stressful situations, and even improve relationships. Defining reflection Before you dive into practicing reflective journaling, I want to make sure you understand what I mean when I say “reflection.” You can interpret the term reflection in a number of ways that apply to your reflective journaling practice. To reflect may include any or all of the following: To cause to change direction: “The glass reflects the light.” Reflective journaling can reflect light on, or bring insight to, related concepts, issues, and behaviors. For example, while reflecting on your relationship with your son, you suddenly see a similarity in your relationship with your father. Your reflective thinking bounces the light off the surface of your intended subject (your son) to a nearby subject (your father), which ultimately provides some insight into yourself in the process. To mirror back: “The still water of the lake reflects the trees along its banks.” Nothing provides self-awareness as effectively as a mirror. Reflective journaling gives you the opportunity to see your behaviors and attitudes mirrored back to you, simply through the act of writing about them as well as reading and analyzing your entries afterwards. And when you maintain an intention of remaining curious about yourself, you can use reflective journaling to understand yourself better and make purposeful change in your life. To make apparent: “Their work reflects their attitude.” You may have difficulty seeing patterns in your own life. However, writing consistently about the same issues from different angles can provide a work of reflection. Much like weaving a blanket thread by thread, then stepping back to see the patterns you created, reviewing journaling entries made over time can help you perceive behavioral patterns in your life. To consider or think carefully about: “They reflected on the many mistakes they had made.” This definition provides the most direct explanation of what you’re doing when you write reflectively in your journal. You simply write down the thoughts, emotions, and responses that you have while you consider your topic. Seeing the benefits of reflection Simply thinking or writing about your past doesn’t necessarily involve true reflection. Don’t play past events in your head over and over again, a practice called ruminating. This process doesn’t provide any constructive insights and can actually be unhealthy. Ruminating about your past can lead you to beat yourself up mentally about past mistakes and to dwell on regrets. Looking back in this manner can lead to sadness, anger, and depression. In contrast, reflective journaling, done with intention and purpose, provides a constructive outlet. You can get many benefits from considering past events introspectively and, in particular, thinking about your responses to those events. Here are a few potential benefits of reflective journaling. Reflection can: Help you make connections between experiences. These connections, in turn, help you to see the past from a new perspective. Looking back, you can express compassion and empathy to that past version of yourself and other people who played a role in hurtful events in your life.For example, a good friend did something that seemed like an intentional slight at the time. Upon reflection, you can now perceive their behavior for what it was: They had a lot going on in their life, felt overwhelmed, and couldn’t give you what you needed. They didn’t slight you intentionally, you now realize. This realization, then, opens the door to forgiveness and healing. Improve your critical thinking skills. One of the purposes of reflective journaling is to question assumptions you make about people and events in your life. An assumption is an unexamined belief or way of thinking that you’ve taken for granted. Assumptions guide conclusions and decisions you make, so becoming aware of and questioning your assumptions is key to critical thinking, resulting in improved self-awareness and better decision making. Show you how far you’ve come. Each day, you do the best you can, but you can’t easily tell if you improve much over time. When you reflect on past behaviors and relationships, and compare those behaviors and relationships with where you are today, you can see how much you’ve changed and grown. And if you realize that you haven’t changed much, that realization can spur you to make life course corrections. Give you the opportunity to reassess what you want in your life. Reflecting on where you’ve been and what you’ve experienced allows you to decide what you like or want in your life and what you don’t. It can inspire you to recommit to goals or change direction altogether.

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The Many Benefits of Keeping a Journal

Article / Updated 12-15-2022

The reason that so many people are drawn to journaling — and likely one of the reasons you’re reading this article — is because journaling is so very beneficial and in so many ways. These benefits have been proven and documented many times through decades of research. From school children just learning to write to elderly adults, journaling has been shown to improve emotional, mental, and physical health. It can unleash creativity and enhance productivity. It helps you clarify your thoughts and feelings and can help you make tough decisions. It’s all in the how and the why you use it. Emotional and mental health People who journal regularly report experiencing an enhanced sense of overall well-being. Moreover, many have gained tangible improvements to their emotional, mental, and physical health. The area that has been studied the most when it comes to journaling is emotional and mental health. You’ve probably heard that journaling is an inexpensive form of psychotherapy. Most sayings contain a seed of truth; in this case, the seed has grown into a tree. Studies conducted in clinical and educational settings since the 1960s have shown the following mental and emotional effects of journaling: Reduces stress and anxiety Boosts feelings of well-being Supports self-love and acceptance Improves the ability to cope with grief, loss, and illness Increases mental clarity I’m not saying that journaling should replace counseling or psychotherapy. Professional therapeutic services have benefits that journaling can’t provide. And it would be irresponsible of me to suggest otherwise. In fact, when combined with conventional therapy, journaling has been shown to increase the effectiveness of the therapy. Counseling and psychotherapy both focus on communicating thoughts and feelings in a safe environment. The counselor or therapist acts as a mirror and resource for the person being counseled. Like a mirror, they reflect your own words and emotions back to you so that you can see them more objectively. As a resource, they can provide guidance, wisdom, and access to additional resources. Journaling gives you a safe space to communicate your deepest thoughts and emotions. Similar to a counselor or therapist, it acts like a mirror, reflecting back to you, in your own words, your feelings, thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and behavioral patterns. When approached with curiosity and an open mind, journaling can help you become more self-aware and increase your ability to process and make meaning of life. Journaling also helps you tap into your inner wisdom, your innate guidance — that inner-self who knows what you really need and want and, when listened to, can help you shift your well-being in a positive direction. Physical health benefits Improved mental health may be reason enough to journal, but did you know that journaling has also been shown to benefit physical health? Dr. Ira Progoff, one of the first psychologists to study and document the effects of journaling, found that in addition to decreasing stress, anxiety, and fear, journal writing for just 15 to 20 minutes, three to five times a week, was correlated with increasing immune system function and decreasing blood pressure. The journal writers in the study went to the doctor less often and just felt better overall. A 2017 study published in Psychosomatic Medicine: Journal of Biobehavioral Medicine (Elsevier) found that those who kept journals during divorce had lower heart rates and higher heart rate variability — both indicators of good health. We can extrapolate from this that journaling could have the same benefits during any stressful loss or life transition. Other studies have shown that journaling improves overall memory function by enhancing the brain’s ability to intake, process, and retrieve information. And because of its positive effects on thinking, journaling has been used in educational settings to help students understand how to think more logically and analytically. Supercharging inspiration and achievement Because journaling is a safe and private activity, and lends itself well to delving into literally any topic or personal characteristic, it’s an excellent tool for exploring creative inspiration, practicing creative skills, and finding creative solutions to any kind of problem. Inspirational ideas have a tendency to blossom into projects. It follows that journaling is a natural (and effective) way to develop and manage your project-related goals and tasks. Have you ever awakened from a dream inspired by a groundbreaking idea? Or had a brilliant solution to a problem while performing a routine task such as doing the dishes or taking a shower? Creative ideas come to us at all times of the day and night — often when we’re thinking about something else entirely. In addition to using words to capture feelings and ideas, you can use your journal as a sketchbook to create mind maps, detail visual ideas, and express emotions through forms and colors. You can also use it to record those inspired dreams. Your journal is a place to capture ideas when they happen and then explore them in more depth later, when you have time. Because it encourages capturing ideas and self-reflection, journaling can help you with your creative process, whether your art is painting, music, or writing itself. One of your journal’s greatest gifts is that it can be messy and unformed, and that’s okay. In your journal, you can develop ideas privately, without the burden of having to “make something good.” Your journal gives you a place to practice without pressure. Because of its judgement-free nature, your journal can help you build confidence in your craft, as well as create a rich resource of ideas that you can come back to over and over again. Writing craft If you like to write, and you dream of becoming a better writer, your journal is a wonderful playground in which to practice. I think the biggest breakthrough for me as a writer — that moment I went from writer-wannabe to knowing I was a writer — came when I recognized that journaling was writing practice. And it was in my journal that I found my authentic writing voice. Consider the following truths about your journal. It’s safe and private, and nothing you write is open to criticism. You can write from your heart, and your inner critic and editor — that voice in your head that’s constantly belittling your writing and telling you that you’re not a real writer — isn’t welcome. Your journal is a playground, and you can put together words however you want in this playground. You don’t have to worry about spelling or punctuation, or whether your sentences flow coherently from one to the next. You can be as messy or neat as you want, and there’s no one to say otherwise. For example, you can use your journal to Brainstorm plots Develop characters Sketch a scene Practice dialogue Create poetry Explore points of view Piece together story ideas Writing is writing, whether it’s in your journal or in text or e-mail. The more you write from your heart — which journaling encourages and helps you practice — the more authentic all your writing becomes. Discovering your Self Every person has both an outer- and inner-self. The outer self is who you present to the world — you, on your best behavior. This is the self who holds back expressing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that others might judge negatively. The outer-self is mostly concerned with how you’re viewed by others, dressing and communicating appropriately so that you have a better chance of fitting in with your social and work groups. When I talk about Self with a capital S, I’m referring to your inner-self, that deep inner emotional/spiritual part of you — the person you really are on the inside. The part of you that contains inner wisdom. The you who’s creative and uninhibited, honest and vulnerable. The you who also has a dark side — who can be angry, depressed, or in pain — that you don’t always want to see. There’s nothing wrong with having these outer and inner expressions of who you are. It’s part of being human. But if your outer- and inner-selves aren’t both aligned with your core values, you can feel conflicted and stressed. For example, have you ever acted in a way or done something because of social (peer) pressure that you felt uncomfortable with or felt guilty about later? That discomfort is the tension between your outer- and inner-selves — between your words or actions, and what you truly value. Here are some ways that journaling can help you discover your Self and then assist you with aligning your inner and outer ways of being: Identifying inner conflicts and influences: Using writing to explore the tension and discomfort you feel in those conflicted situations can help you identify the influences in your life that don’t support your values. Increasing confidence: Putting your values and dreams in writing increases your confidence to live the life you want. Acknowledging your darkness: Expressing your darker emotions and thoughts on the page allows you to bring light, compassion, and healing to the part of you that you hide from the world (and sometimes yourself). Being your Self: The self-awareness you gain from journaling can help you align and integrate your inner and outer personas so that you can be your authentic Self in the world. When you have a strong sense of Self, you’re not easily swayed by others’ opinions or by groupthink — a forced or manipulated conformity to group ethics, values, and viewpoints. You’re self-aware; you have a sense of purpose and know what’s important to you. And you behave in ways that are consistent with your core values.

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Journaling By Hand vs. Computer

Article / Updated 12-07-2022

Many people assume that journaling is always done by hand. For me, the primary advantage of journaling by hand is that your journal and writing instruments are inexpensive and portable. However, there are disadvantages, including that your journal might not be safe from prying eyes, loss, or natural disasters. Consider the following advantages and disadvantages for both analog and digital journaling before you decide for yourself. The pros of analog journaling There are many reasons that journaling by hand is preferred by the majority of journal keepers. Some of the most compelling reasons include Memory and comprehension: The sensory-motor coordination involved in handwriting activates more parts of the brain than typing does, while also slowing cognitive processing. The benefits of this increased brain activity include improved memory and deeper comprehension of concepts.When journaling by hand, these benefits may enhance your ability to gain insights while journaling reflectively. Stress reduction: The very act of writing by hand can reduce stress. This stress reduction occurs, in part, because you have to slow down your thought processes while you write, giving it a meditative quality. Simplicity: A paper journal is simple. It’s cheap, portable, and doesn’t depend on batteries. Enjoyment: For those who prefer the tactile feeling, writing on paper can be a more enjoyable experience than journaling on an electronic device. The cons of analog journaling In spite of its popularity and benefits, there are also reasons that journaling by hand might not be your ultimate choice. Analog journaling is Messy: For those who write slowly or whose hands tend to cramp or smear ink (I’m thinking of us lefties), writing by hand can be messy and sometimes painful. Not versatile: You can’t include multimedia, such as audio or video recordings, and attaching pictures is complicated. Also, it’s time-consuming and challenging to search for specific content, create a backup, or convert the contents to another format. Hard to edit: It’s difficult to make clean corrections, and copying and pasting requires additional tools. Less private: From a privacy perspective, analog is less safe than digital. Even if you lock your notebook in a safe, your journal is subject to being found and read by someone else. So you need to rely on the integrity of those around you. Not physically safe: An analog journal is also less safe from loss or disaster, such as fires and floods, while a digital journal can be easily backed up to the cloud or another device. The advantages of digital journaling Check out the following list of advantages to digital journaling: Ease of use: A digital journal can be easier to organize and manage than a paper one. Physical safety: Because it can be stored in multiple places (in the cloud, as well as on a hard drive), your digital journal can be safe from loss and natural disasters. Privacy: Definitely a pro of the digital journal. You can password protect and double authenticate access to it. Access: If you carry a smartphone, your digital journal is available to you everywhere you go, making it easy to add notes throughout the day, whereas, you might not always want to tote your paper journal around. Versatility: You can include digital multimedia in your journal entries: audio, video, images, and so on. Speed: If you type quickly, or use speech to text technology, it can be easier to pour out your thoughts and emotions onto the page because you don’t have to slow down as much. Editing capabilities: You can freely correct errors, copy, paste, and rearrange your writing. Therapeutic value: Exploring your thoughts and emotions through digital entry — including typing, speech to text, and using a digital pen — can provide the same therapeutic value as handwriting. The disadvantages of digital journaling The following list outlines reasons you might not prefer digital journaling: Linear thought dominates: The primary disadvantage to digital journaling is that keyboarding tends to encourage linear, rather than associative/creative thinking. However, that disadvantage may be overcome by using a digital pen, combined with a handwriting or drawing application. Expense: Digital journals require a device, such as computer, smartphone, or tablet, all of which cost more than a paper notebook. Energy: A digital journal requires power from some source, such as batteries (and you need the ability to recharge those batteries). Emotional distance: Because of the technical nature of typing and working within software limitations, digital journaling can distance you from your emotions when compared with writing by hand. Risk of loss: If you don’t back up your journal to the cloud or a hard drive, you run the risk of losing all of your journal entries forever if something should happen to the device on which it’s stored. Not tactile: Journaling on a computer or other digital device might not feel as pleasurable, from a tactile perspective. Figuring out what works best for you Read through the lists in the preceding sections. Do any pros or cons stand out for you? Maybe there’s just one item that’s a deal clincher — the enhanced privacy of digital journaling, for example. Or the ability to copy and paste. Or perhaps you don’t like computers and love the tactile feeling of pen on paper. Whichever method you use, the choice is deeply personal. If you’re still not sure which mode to use, I recommend starting out with the one that seems easiest. You can always switch — or even blend modes — later on.

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Journaling For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Cheat Sheet / Updated 10-25-2022

Journaling, in the most basic terms, is the practice of recording life events. However, journaling also entails delving into thoughts and emotions by using writing and visual forms of expression for personal growth and development. This Cheat Sheet outlines how to get started in journaling, including the benefits of the practice, different methods of journaling, and how to get into the habit of keeping a journal.

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