Gender Transition For Dummies Cheat Sheet

Gender Transition for Dummies covers a huge amount of material about transgender and non-binary people and gender transition. This Cheat Sheet takes a closer look at gender-neutral language and intersex folks and the issues they face. It also contains some information about how to make bathrooms more inclusive.

Using gender-neutral language

Language is powerful! The ability to communicate with language allows humans to achieve incredible things, but good data also shows that language can make people feel excluded and less valued. Shifting to more gender-neutral language helps women and LGBTQ people feel respected and as if they’re important members of the team. And even though most folks have developed their communication habits over a lifetime, it doesn’t have to be superhard to make the shift. Here are some good tips:

Understanding intersex people

People who are intersex have bodies that don’t sort neatly into the category of male or female. They typically have one of about 30 naturally occurring biological variations. Some intersex folks are born with ambiguous genitals, meaning their external genitals are hard to put a label on, not that they have both male and female genitalia. Many others have completely typical genitals, though, and instead have atypical chromosomes or gonads (internal reproductive organs). Lots of these variations are incredibly subtle, and don’t change the person’s appearance at all. In fact, many people who have intersex traits don’t even know it themselves.

Today, it’s estimated that 1.7 percent of humans are intersex. This is the same prevalence as people born with red hair, so being intersex is at least as common as having red hair. Don’t be surprised if this number goes up in the future. As recently as ten years ago, it was thought that 1 in 2,000 people were intersex. So, the more you find out about this group, the bigger you realize it is.

In the past, the medical protocol was to perform surgeries on babies with atypical genitals, sometimes without consulting their parents. Intersex advocates have toiled for decades to try to stop this practice, and they’ve made some real headway. Several prominent children’s hospitals, including hospitals in Boston and Chicago, have voluntarily stopped doing these surgeries, and a California state senator has proposed a bill to ban this type of infant surgery three separate times. Things are improving, but a lack of knowledge means parents don’t always understand how to advocate for their intersex baby. This highlights how much there still is to discover.

It’s easy to confuse transgender people with intersex people, but they definitely aren’t the same. Most trans folks have a completely typical body, but have an internal gender that doesn’t match up with their body. For intersex folks, it’s not about that internal knowing that they’re a man, woman, or non-binary person; it’s about having physical sex characteristics that are different from the common definitions of male and female, even in subtle ways. Because of the unwanted medical interventions that are performed on intersex kids, some of them end up needing some of the same treatments that trans people seek out, but intersex and trans are two different categories of human beings.

How can you be an ally or friend to intersex people? Here are some ideas:

• Keep looking for information and share your newfound knowledge with others in your life.
• Don’t ask invasive personal questions, and let folks share their story with you in their own way.
• Advocate for some of the same protections for intersex people that trans folks value. Examples include backing laws and policies that enable ID documents with gender markers other than M or F, opposing laws that tie using the bathroom to the gender on a birth certificate, and supporting inclusive nondiscrimination policies.
• Jump in to support laws and policies that oppose harmful and unnecessary surgeries on intersex children who are too young to be involved in the decision.

Making Bathrooms Safer

You can help make bathrooms safer wherever you work, play, or gather with other people. We’re not talking about renovating the whole building, though! Even if your location has multiple-occupancy gendered bathrooms, inclusive signage can be used to let folks know they are safe and welcome to go to the bathroom in that space. Here are some ideas for how to ensure safety and access for everyone in the bathroom:

• Check your state and local laws. New Mexico has a law that requires New Mexico businesses and public facilities that have single-occupancy restrooms to mark them as gender-neutral, and available to any person regardless of their gender identity or sex. The city of Santa Fe has adopted a similar ordinance. If you have a protective law where you live, that makes it even easier to convince businesses to use gender-neutral signage, especially on single occupancy restrooms.
• ‍Support policies that follow the U.S. Department of Labor’s Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) guidelines. These guidelines state that “all employees, including transgender employees, should have access to restrooms that correspond to their gender identity.” OSHA’s best practices document (https://www.osha.gov/sites/default/files/publications/OSHA3795.pdf) contains some great language and helpful framing.
• ‍Encourage training for your group. Knowing more about transgender and non-binary people can help reduce folks’ anxiety about sharing bathrooms. Nothing does as much good as experience over time, but initial training can help answer questions and demystify the situation.
• ‍Advocate for or install new signage. Better bathroom signs can be as simple as the traditional signs with added language such as “You are welcome to use the bathroom that best aligns with your gender identity.” But signs can be even more affirming, such as this one spotted at a national LGBTQ conference: “Sometimes because of how people look, they aren’t allowed to pee. We can do better! This bathroom is for everyone. In this bathroom we request that no one will be stared at, questioned or asked to leave. Sharing a bathroom could feel new and different — thanks for helping make this space safe for everyone.” A college in southern Colorado hung signs on their multiple-occupancy bathrooms reading, “Do you feel like someone is using the ‘wrong’ bathroom? Please don’t: stare at them, challenge them, insult them. Do not purposely make them uncomfortable. Instead, please: respect their privacy, respect their identity, carry on with your day, protect them from harm. They are using the facilities they feel safe in. Please do not take this right away from them. Trans and gender-questioning students, you have every right to be here: in this facility, in this college, in this world. Your gender identity and expression are valid.”

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