If a woman finds penetration painful during intercourse, the problem is probably vaginismus — not a vagina that is too tight. Vaginismus is a medical condition in which vaginal muscles involuntarily tighten up to the point where the woman will experience vaginal pain during intercourse. Sometimes, vaginismus causes the muscles to contract so tightly that penetration is impossible. The cause is almost always tension.

Although the size of the vagina is almost never an issue, some women may have a separate medical problem. A woman’s first course of action should be to visit a gynecologist.

Assuming that she gets a clean bill of health, then, once again, the treatment involves getting her to relax. What exactly she must do depends on what the other factors are. If she’s also never had an orgasm, then discovering how to give herself an orgasm through masturbation may be step one. If she’s already orgasmic, then her partner should get more involved in the orgasm-producing process.

When left untreated, vaginismus can be a very serious issue between a couple. This idea is especially true if the woman is a virgin, gets married, and intends to lose her virginity during the honeymoon. She and her new husband are both all set to start their sex life, but either she feels too much pain to let him continue or he can’t get in at all. This situation may result in bad feelings that, if left to fester, could destroy their marriage. Don’t be too embarrassed to seek treatment.

When a woman doesn’t produce enough natural lubrication, at any age, you can apply an artificial lubricant to allow for intercourse without vaginal irritation. Dryness won’t prevent penetration, but it can cause pain. If you think this might be the cause of your pain, the solution is as easy as visiting the local drugstore. Vaginal dryness is especially common in menopausal and postmenopausal women.