If you’ve ever wondered whether your workplace is truly toxic or if you’re just “overreacting,” you’re not alone. The reality is, if work feels unbearable day after day, it’s not just a tough week—it’s a deeper issue. You may be working in a toxic work environment.
Toxic workplaces have real consequences for both employees and organizations. Even the U.S. Surgeon General has classified toxic workplaces as a public health crisis because of the damaging effects on mental and physical well-being, including depression, anxiety, lack of sleep, poor appetite, reduced morale, and so, so much more.
Signs you’re in a toxic workplace
While some toxic workplaces are openly hostile, others are more subtle, gradually wearing down morale and well-being. You might be telling friends and family about it, and if they haven’t been in an environment like that, they may not really understand what you’re going through, which can make you think it’s even more possible you’re being dramatic.
Here are some key warning signs to help:
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You’re afraid to speak up.
A healthy workplace allows employees to ask questions, share ideas, and admit mistakes without fear of embarrassment, judgment, or retaliation. But if you find yourself second-guessing every word, witnessing colleagues being punished for honesty, observing defensiveness against even the slightest suggestion, or feeling like silence is the safest option, that’s a red flag. You’re in an environment where psychological safety is a privilege instead of the standard, and that’s not healthy.
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The rules don’t apply to everyone.
If certain employees get away with toxic behavior because they’re high performers, or if some are held to unrealistic standards while others receive preferential treatment, you’re in a toxic workplace. Inconsistent policies create resentment and distrust - fairness and accountability should be non-negotiable.
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You’re experiencing gaslighting from your employer.
If your concerns are constantly dismissed, if you’re told you’re “too sensitive,” if talking to your manager or HR results in being made to feel like the problem, or if you’re told something will change but nothing does — that’s gaslighting. Employers who don’t care about the way people are treated are toxic, and these workplaces use these tactics to avoid accountability. The result is that you doubt your own experiences. Trust your instincts; if something feels wrong, it probably is.
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You’re tired, confused, and frustrated by work.
Sure, we all have bad days. You may come home feeling these things occasionally, and sometimes even for several days or weeks in a row, due to a big push to get something done or make something happen. But when you’re constantly, over long periods of time, complaining about feeling this way, you’re in a toxic environment. Your friends and family can attest to your patterns — if they’re hearing you complain regularly, listen to them when they tell you this.
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Your job is impacting your health.
Again, work stress is normal, but it shouldn’t make you physically ill. Chronic anxiety, headaches, insomnia, and digestive issues can all be linked to a toxic work environment. If your job is harming your health, it’s time to take it seriously.
How to document toxic workplace behavior
If you’re dealing with bullying, harassment, or a generally awful work environment, you’re going to need some documentation to back up your claims when it’s time to report the behavior to HR or leadership. Part of your role in soliciting HR or management’s help is to set them up for success to help you. Solid documentation increases your chances of actually getting the support you need.
Here are the steps for creating documentation and showing a pattern in the way you’re being treated.
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Write it down (every single time).
You need a pattern of behavior, not just a one-off complaint. Every time something shady happens, write it down ASAP. Include:
- Who was involved
- What happened (stick to facts, not feelings!)
- When it happened (date and time)
- Where it happened
- Witnesses (if any)
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Save any proof you can.
Toxic behavior isn’t always face-to-face. If you get nasty emails or texts, rude Slack messages, or questionable performance reviews, screenshot and save them. Keep these in a personal (but private) folder on your own device. Remember that if your company provided your laptop or phone, everything on it belongs to them, and you want to be sure they obtain the information only when you’re ready to provide it.
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Keep it objective.
When writing down incidents, avoid emotional language. This is an emotional situation, but the emotions will make it harder for HR to help you.
Bad Example: She’s just super critical all the time, and it’s hard to work with her.
Good Example: On April 4, she said, “You’re so dumb” to me. I’ve also witnessed five other people cry after having meetings with her on Sept 20, Sept 26, Nov 10, and Mar 7.
The more neutral and fact-based your notes are, the harder for someone to dismiss them as just a misunderstanding or conflict.
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Track the impact on your work and well-being.
Toxic behavior affects your mental health, performance, and job satisfaction. Keep notes on:
- Missed deadlines or errors due to stress
- Anxiety, sleep issues, or burnout
- Productivity issues or team conflicts
Example: “After repeated criticism from my boss in front of my team, I have developed anxiety about presenting ideas in meetings.”
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Report it.
Once you’ve got a strong case, it’s time to take action. Decide who to report to by first reviewing your corporate policy handbook, as it will outline the complaint procedure. Most policies offer a variety of options so you can be comfortable with the right person, including HR, your manager, or another manager or leader.
5 ways to deal with an angry boss
Angry bosses. They overreact, intimidate, and make your work life miserable. But like it or not, they’re still in charge. How do you stand up for yourself without making things worse? You can’t fight fire with fire, and staying silent doesn’t work either. Instead, try this five-step approach the next time your boss goes nuclear:
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Listen (even when it’s hard).
When your boss is yelling, shaming, or having an emotional meltdown, your first instinct is to defend yourself. Don’t. Instead, let them vent for a moment. Make eye contact, nod, and show you’re listening. This gives them a chance to cool down and actually helps you regain power — they’re the one out of control, while you’re the one in control.
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Acknowledge their feelings.
Angry people want to be heard. Show them you get it by saying something like, “I can see you’re really frustrated about this.” If they’re clenching their fists or turning red, you can even point it out: “I can tell from your tone and body language that this really upset you.”
Fun fact: Some bosses don’t even realize how intense they’re being. Calling attention to their body language might snap them out of it.
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Repeat what they said (without the sting).
Summarize what your boss just said, but leave out the insults. If they bark, “This is unacceptable! You clearly have no idea how to handle customer complaints!” you can reframe it as: “I hear that you're frustrated with how I handled that customer issue. It sounds like you’d prefer I check with my team lead before going to IT next time. Is that right?” This keeps the conversation productive instead of a blame game. Once again, you have the power and control when you respond this way.
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Own it (even if you don’t want to).
Nobody wants to apologize to an unfair boss or say they made a mistake when they really didn’t. But sometimes it’s the fastest way to move forward. If you made a mistake, own it: “I see now that wasn’t the right way to handle it. I apologize. Next time I will X, Y, and Z.”
Even if you didn’t do anything wrong, a simple “I understand why that was frustrating, and I’ll do better next time” can defuse the situation.
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Ask how to improve.
Turn the conversation toward solutions. Ask: “What would you like me to do differently in the future?” If they shrug or give a vague answer, suggest something yourself: "Would you prefer I check with my team lead first in situations like this? I really want to be sure we’re focusing on the future.” Then, document whatever they say. Send a follow-up email confirming your understanding. This protects you and keeps things clear.
What If Nothing Changes?
If your boss is constantly angry and none of this helps, take it up the hierarchy. Talk to HR or a higher-up and ask for their assistance. Your request is likely to be more successful if you share the solutions you have already tried. You might say, “My boss can sometimes get really angry and explode. In those situations, I’ve tried A, B, and C, but it doesn’t seem to help calm them down or stop them from doing it. I’m coming to you because I obviously need guidance on next steps. What do you suggest?”
You can stand up for yourself without making things worse. Keep challenging bad behavior when you see it because the more people push back, the more likely your boss is to change.
