By Charles H. Elliott, Laura L. Smith, W. Doyle Gentry

Part of Anger Management For Dummies Cheat Sheet

You can get what you want in life through appropriate behavior or attempt to do so with anger, aggression and obnoxious behavior. You’ll get more cooperation and succeed more often with the former approach. Here’s a list of a few anger do’s and don’ts to help you see the difference.

  • Do be competitive. All successful people are competitive. The trick is to know when and how.

  • Don’t be confrontational. You won’t accomplish everything you want in life with a hostile, in-your-face attitude. People typically avoid confrontation, so they end up avoiding you.

  • Do be forceful in pursing goals. Passion and drive fuel success. It’s not enough to wish for success; you have to work hard to get there.

  • Don’t be too intense. Don’t overpower those around you. It’s exhausting — for you and for them.

  • Do be persistent in getting what you want out of life. When you start something, stick with it. Don’t allow anger to distract you from your objective or cause you to give up prematurely.

  • Don’t be impatient. Give people a chance to work with you on solving a problem. Let time be your ally, not your enemy. Never be afraid to step away from a challenge to achieve a better perspective.

  • Do be direct in your communication. Let people know how you feel about things — big and little. Don’t leave it up to them to figure out whether you’re angry and why. And don’t say you’re fine when you’re not.

  • Don’t be demanding. People cooperate and get less defensive if you ask them to do something instead of ordering them around.

  • Do be a determined person. That means having resolve and being unwavering in what you say and do. Determination is a trait people admire.

  • Don’t be domineering. Don’t beat others over the head with your opinions and ideas. Don’t always think you have to have the last word. Stop interrupting and try being more of an active listener.