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When You're Angry: Aggression Do’s and Don’ts

Part of the Anger Management For Dummies Cheat Sheet

When you are trying to manage your anger and aggression, consider these do’s and don’ts for getting what you want while still keeping your cool.

Anger Do’s:

  • Do be competitive. All successful people are competitive. The trick is to know when and how to compete, and when to cooperate to succeed.

  • Do be forceful in pursing goals. Passion and drive are what fuel success. It’s not enough to wish; you have to be achievement-driven in what you do. Anger is an energy.

  • Do be persistent in getting what you want out of life. When you start something, stick with it. Don’t allow anger to distract you from your objective or cause you to give up prematurely.

  • Do be direct in your communication. Let people know how you feel about things – big and little. Don’t leave it up to them to figure out if you’re angry and why. Most importantly, don’t say you’re fine when you’re not.

  • Do be a determined person. That means having resolve and being unwavering in what you say and do. Determination is a trait people admire.

Anger Don’ts:

  • Don’t be confrontational. You won’t accomplish everything you want in life with a hostile, in-your-face attitude. People typically avoid confrontation, so they end up avoiding you.

  • Don’t be too intense. Don’t overpower those around you. It’s exhausting – for you and for them.

  • Don’t be impatient. Give people a chance to work with you on solving a problem. When you set off on a track, you may be first to come up with an idea, but you’re also first up a dead end. Never be afraid to step away from a challenge in order to see it more clearly.

  • Don’t be demanding. People are more cooperative and less defensive if you ask them to do something instead of ordering them around.

  • Don’t be domineering. Don’t beat others over the head with your opinions and ideas. Don’t always think you have to have the last word. Stop interrupting and try being more of an active listener.

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