We are each responsible for our own feelings. People react in different ways to the same events, so our reactions are not inevitable – they are the result of our history and tendencies. Other people do not make us feel particular emotions (although they may intend or try to).

Think of a recent emotional reaction that you didn’t like and reflect on it:

  • If you had a different reaction what kind of person would you be?

  • If you had a different reaction (think of one or two) how would the other person react to you and then what would happen?

  • Trace your original emotional reaction back to the earliest experience of it that you can remember and write about that event and ask yourself the previous two questions again.