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Breaking the Gridlock for Confident Action

Part of the Confidence For Dummies Cheat Sheet

You may find yourself stuck in the X then Y gridlock scenario in which your conversation is all around ‘I can’t do X until I’ve done Y’. Lack of time, money, and energy are common reasons but not the only reasons people get stuck. Breaking the pattern involves breaking a job into smaller steps, like this:

  1. Put asidethe idea that you don’t have enough time, money, or energy – assume that the lack of any or all these elements is not the real problem.

    Imagine that you are rich enough in time, money, or energy.

  2. State your goal or dream in a positive way and write it down.

    For example, ‘I want to move to a cottage by the sea’.

  3. Ask yourself Question 1: ‘Can I do it today?’

    If your answer is ‘yes’, then everything is in place. Hey presto, your dream is complete! However, if your answer is ‘no’ – and this is the most likely scenario – then proceed to Step 4.

  4. Ask yourself Question 2: ‘What needs to happen first?’

    Break out all the separate tasks you need to do to accomplish your goal.

    In the example of the house by the sea, the tasks can divide into three main activities: researching the location, finding a more flexible job, and getting the family’s agreement.

  5. Loop around the questions in Steps 3 and 4 for each task.

    Ask yourself Question 1 – ‘Can I do it today?’ – and if the answer is ‘no’, then go on to Question 2 – ‘What needs to happen first?’ – until you arrive at a list of activities that you can either do today or that you’ve negotiated with yourself to do on a set date that you write in your diary.

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