Christian Prayer For Dummies
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Here are ten lines that may sound spiritual on the surface, but could have other not-so-spiritual meanings. Laughing at the foibles of yourselves and others is part of the cosmic joke, and spiritual efforts don’t get exempted!

“I am detached from all material possessions!”

“I am detached from all material possessions!”

This line may really mean “I’m flat broke and don’t have a penny to my name!”

“Make me one with everything!”

“Make me one with everything!”

This statement may really mean “Be sure to put onions, relish, catsup, and mustard on my tofu dog!”

“I am not my body!”

“I am not my body!”

This saying may really mean “So pass another slice of pie!”

“God bless you!”

“God bless you!”

This blessing may really mean “May God bless you with the self-control to not sneeze so loudly next time!”

“It must be your karma!”

“It must be your karma!”

This phrase may really mean “Don’t ask me for help!”

“Buy this new prosperity book!”

“Buy this new prosperity book!”

This statement may really mean “So the author can get some prosperity from you!”

“O Lord, my life is in your hands!”

“O Lord, my life is in your hands!”

This surrendering may really mean “What I tried didn’t work, and I’m in hot water!”

“I experience completeness within myself!”

“I experience completeness within myself!”

This lofty statement may really mean “Nobody likes me!”

“He who gives shall receive!”

“He who gives shall receive!”

This phrase may really mean “So, fork it over!”

“These words were channeled!”

“These words were channeled!”

This line may really mean “I don’t want to argue with you about what I just said!”

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