©Oasisamuel / Adobe StockBut with so many sexual and gender identity terms, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, bigender, genderfluid, pansexual, and several others, it can get confusing. Read on to learn about these identities and other related terminology.
Agender
Being agender may be experienced as identifying outside the binary of man and woman, fluctuating between gender identities or feeling as though no gender identity fully encapsulates one’s experience. Agender experiences overlap with non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, genderfree, genderless, and gender non-conforming identities, and can often flux between multiple groups at once.Agender folx (learn about the term “folx” in the section below) may experience gender dysphoria (bodily or psychologically), pursue medical and hormonal transitions, go by any pronouns (to learn about pronouns, see the section below) they specify, and experience any form of attraction (sexual, romantic, emotional, aesthetic, etc.).
To learn more about being agender how agender folx describe their experiences, check out these sites: GenderGP — Article; Nonbinary Wiki; Gender Wiki.
Asexual & aromantic
Someone who is asexual doesn’t experience sexual attraction. Likewise, someone who is aromantic doesn’t experience romantic attraction. The two terms often come up together, but someone can identify as one, both, or neither. These terms have to do with sexual orientation, not gender identity.Some asexual people may still choose to engage in sexual activities, and others don’t want to. Some aromantic people may still find themselves with a long-term partner, or they may not want that. Everyone experiences these attractions to a different extent, and there are several more nuanced identities within the ace and aro umbrellas.
These identities can remind us of how baked-in the cultural messaging is that everyone wants a sexual and romantic partner. Allonormativity is the assumption that everyone wants a sexual partner, and amatonormativity is the assumption that everyone is seeking romance.
Bisexual
A person who is bisexual experiences attraction to more than one gender, including their own (if they identify with one). Bisexuality is not a gender identity, and therefore anyone can be bisexual — cisgender people, trans people, and people who don't conform to gender at all. It's also possible to be biromantic and asexual — biromantic people experience romantic attraction to more than one gender, but not sexual attraction. Bisexuals can use any pronouns, so ask if you're unsure!There is a lot of confusion surrounding bisexuality. Many people think bisexual means "attracted to two genders" due to the "bi" part, with the default being men and women due to cisheteronormativity. However, this is not the case — prior to being the label we use today, "bisexual" was actually used for intersex individuals, which is where the notion of "two" originated. Bisexuality is inclusive and doesn't exist on a binary, and bisexuals can and do date trans people — and some are trans.
Bigender
A person who is bigender experiences exactly two gender identities — sometimes at the same time and sometimes shifting between the two. This often refers to people who identify as both male and female but can also include non-binary identities as well. For example, a bigender person might identify as agender and genderqueer, or any other combination of two genders.Bigender people may use any set or pronouns — if you don’t know which to use, ask! They also may have any style of gender presentation, whether that is traditionally feminine or masculine, androgynous, or anything else. Sometimes bigender people shift their gender presentation based on which gender they feel more strongly day-to-day. Sometimes they don’t!
Bigender people may be any sexuality — being bigender is not the same as being bisexual. Some bigender people consider themselves trans, and some experience dysphoria and may choose to transition in some way. But this isn’t the case for everyone.
Cisgender
If someone is cisgender, that means their gender identity matches the gender they were assigned at birth. The term is often used to serve as an opposite of transgender. It’s usually safe to assume a cis man will use he/him pronouns and a cis woman will use she/her pronouns.Being cisgender is separate from sexual orientation. For example, a cisgender person can be lesbian, asexual, heterosexual, or any other sexual orientation.
We might associate the term cisgender with people who have never questioned their gender identity and have always lived as the gender they were assigned at birth. However, it’s always okay to question your gender identity and conclude that you do identify with the gender you were assigned at birth, ending up with a fuller understanding of what your gender means to you.
Folx
This is an alternate spelling of the word “folks” that’s intended to specifically signal inclusivity. The queer community often uses alternate spellings of gendered words to make them less or non-gendered, often adding an “x” to the word. While “folks” is already gender neutral, using the spelling “folx” instead specifically indicates that the queer community (see the section “Queer & Questioning” for what “queer” means) or other marginalized groups are included, very intentionally.For more information and discussion around its use and a few other similar words, check out this article.
Gay
Gay is often used as an umbrella term to describe anyone in the LGBTQ+ community who experiences sexual and/or romantic attraction to someone of the same gender. However, it’s also sometimes used to specifically refer to men who are attracted to men.Gay people can have any gender identity and use any pronouns. This is a broad term, so it’s always good to ask if someone identifies as gay or if they prefer a different term, such as lesbian or queer.
Gender identity & presentation
The term gender identity refers to a person’s internal sense of who they know themselves to be. Terms for gender identity aim to capture people’s relation or lack thereof to the social constructs that their culture aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth.Gender presentation (also called gender expression) is the way in which people show their gender, including physical appearance, clothing, hairstyles, mannerisms, and more.
One’s gender identity and gender presentation are separate from sexual orientation or romantic attraction (or lack thereof). People can be of any gender identity and present however they choose while experiencing any variety of attractions and using any variety of pronouns.
Genderfluid
A person who is genderfluid does not experience a fixed gender — that is, their gender changes over time. These changes may happen over months or years, or a person may experience several genders during the course of a single day.Genderfluid people may identify as any combination of genders that they shift between — male, female, agender, bigender, or any other identities. They may use any sets of pronouns, and some people may ask others to change the pronouns they use for them based on what gender they are feeling at a given time.
Some genderfluid people consider themselves trans, while others don’t. They may also consider themselves nonbinary, but they are not automatically either.
Gender nonconforming
Gender nonconformity involves a person's rejection of a culture's gender norm expectations. The term usually refers to gender expression or presentation (how someone dresses), behavior, preferences and/or roles that don't conform to the gender norms for an individual's gender assigned at birth.Gender nonconformity is about how you "show up" in the world, instead of your gender identity. Anyone of any gender can be gender non-conforming.
Examples of gender nonconformity in American culture cultures could include a man wearing eyeliner or being a stay-at-home dad, or a woman wearing a suit on her wedding day or pursuing a career instead of motherhood.
Genderqueer
Genderqueer can be used in two ways: It can be used as an umbrella term similar to “nonbinary” (though this is less common than it used to be), or it can describe an individual’s gender experience. When it is used to describe an individual, genderqueer generally means someone who doesn’t identify with the gender binary. They might identify with multiple genders, no gender, or something that is difficult to define (thus “queer”).Genderqueer people may identify as trans, but not all do. They might use any pronoun, so it is best to ask.
Jacob Tobia, a fairly well-known genderqueer person, American LGBT rights activist, writer, actor, producer, and television host, shares five things to know about being genderqueer in this video.
Intersex
Intersex refers to people who, for a variety of different reasons, do not fall neatly into either the male or female binary sex categories. Male and female as sex categories refer to a culturally-agreed-upon collection of primary (genitalia and gonads), secondary (breasts, facial hair, etc.), and genetic (chromosomes) sex characteristics and markers.Some people know they are intersex from birth. Others may find out at puberty, when our secondary sex characteristics begin to come in. Still others may not know until well into adulthood, especially if they have an intersex variant that affects internal organs or chromosomes.
Not all intersex people identify as LGBTQ+. Some people find community with LGBTQ+ people because they are intersex, some do because they have another identity that falls within the community, and others do not find it useful or aligned with their experience.
Lesbian
A lesbian is someone who experiences and prefers sexual or romantic attraction to women and between women. However, a non-binary person can also consider identifying as a lesbian. Some lesbians also refer to themselves as gay. Regarding pronouns, just ask the person.Nonbinary
Nonbinary, sometimes shortened to NB or enby, is an adjective describing a person who does not identify exclusively as a man or woman. Non-binary people may identify as being both a man and a woman, somewhere in between, or as falling completely outside these categories.Nonbinary can also be used as an umbrella term encompassing identities such as agender, bigender, third gender, genderqueer or gender-fluid. Some might also identify as transgender, but not all non-binary people do.
There are several pronouns used in the nonbinary community. These include:
- She, her, her, hers, and herself
- He, him, his, his, and himself
- They, them, their, theirs, and themself
- Ze/zie, hir, hir, hirs, and hirself
- Xe, xem, xyr, xyrs, and xemself
- Ve, ver, vis, vis, and verself
Pansexual
Pansexuality is usually defined as experiencing sexual attraction to all gender identities or being attracted to someone regardless of their gender identity. Its use and visibility has increased in recent decades alongside the understanding of gender as existing beyond a binary of woman and man.Often this term is used interchangeably with bisexuality, but there is a distinction between the two. Bisexuality is typically defined as attraction to more than one gender (not restricted to woman/man binary). Pansexuality is typically considered to be under the umbrella of bisexuality since it’s distinguished by an attraction to someone despite their gender.
Omnisexuality is another term sometimes used by folx who wish to emphasize that gender is important to how they find someone attractive.
To learn more about being pansexual, check out these sites: Stonewall Org — Pansexual Misconceptions; Them — Article; Very Well Mind — Definition Page; Bisexual Resource Center.
Pronouns
Pronouns are grammatical terms used to reference a person in place of a proper noun. A few examples are “she/her/hers,” “they/them/theirs,” and “he/hers/any. There’s no limit to how many pronouns an individual may be comfortable using. There’s also no definitive list of pronouns and many are still being created as our collective understanding of gender identity and expression evolves. Some people prefer going by their name only. Other folx may alternate between pronouns.Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time, haven’t asked in a while, or feel unsure how to address someone, it’s best just to ask! You can try to say things like, “What pronouns do you use?” or “Can you remind me what pronouns you use?” Sharing your pronouns (like in your email signatures or as part of your greetings in phone calls and meetings) is a great place to start as well.
For more resources and information, check out these sites: University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee — Pronouns Resource Page; The Center — Resources.
Queer & questioning
The Q in the LGBTQ+ acronym refers to queer and/or questioning. Queer is another umbrella term that can include any LGBTQ+ identity. People who use this label often use it to mean they fall outside of the cultural norms of binary gender and heterosexuality. Some may also use this label when they hold more than one LGBTQ+ identity.It has become more popular mostly among younger folks who have been reclaiming the label “queer” as it has been used as a slur in the past. Because of this, not everyone in the community feels comfortable identifying as queer. Before using this term to describe a person or group, it’s good to ask if they like to use this label or not.
The term “questioning” can apply to anyone who is questioning or exploring their gender identity, sexual orientation, or both. It often refers to youth, but it can apply to anyone, as it’s not uncommon for our identities to shift throughout our life. Someone who is questioning may be wondering for the first time if they fit into the LGBTQ+ community, or they may be exploring different identity labels or pronouns.
Transgender
Transgender (sometimes shortened as “trans”) is an umbrella term describing individuals whose gender identity differs from the one assigned to them at birth. Non-binary individuals (and those who may identify otherwise outside of the gender binary) may also consider themselves as part of the transgender spectrum.Assigned gender is the medical term used to describe the assumed gender of a newborn child based on their primary sex characteristics (genitals). One’s gender identity does not indicate how one’s gender is expressed, nor what sexual attraction an individual may or may not experience.
Transgender people can experience any sexual orientation and romantic attraction (or lack thereof) and may use a variety of pronouns. As always, when you’re unsure what pronouns someone goes by, it’s best to ask. To learn more and for further resources, check out these books and sites: The Trevor Project Resources; Trans Lifeline Resources.
Two-spirit
Two-spirit is a term used by some indigenous peoples in North America and refers to a person who identifies as having both a masculine and feminine spirit. It is an umbrella term which can be used to describe sexual orientation, gender, and/or spiritual identity. If you see a “2” or “2S” in a longer version of the LGBTQ+ acronym, this is what it stands for.The term “two-spirit” was coined by Elder Myra Laramee in 1990 as a way for Native American and First Nations peoples to refer to their experiences with non-Western and non-binary gender, sexuality, and spiritual selves. It is a translation of the Anishinaabemowin term niizh manidoowag, or literally “two spirits.”
People who fall under the umbrella term “two-spirit” may use just that label or may also use other culturally-specific terminology for themselves. Not every LGBTQ+ Native American or First Nations person is two-spirit.
Unlike the other terms discussed in this deck, “two-spirit” is a closed identity. This means that not everyone can use this term to describe themselves. Because of its cultural significance, only Native American and First Nations people may be and use the term two-spirit.