In a successful marriage, both partners must be able to compromise and negotiate. Sometimes, the two of you can find a middle ground. If, for example, you want to spend your two-week summer vacation at the shore and he wants to spend it at a resort with a golf course, you can work it out in several different ways:

• You can both spend a week at the shore, then a week at the golf resort.
• You can each spend a portion of your vacation time apart.
• You can agree to go to the shore this summer, and to the golf resort next summer.

Figure out what's at stake for each of you — and defer to the partner whose needs are stronger. For example, if your wife has had a particularly stressful year, and you know that she finds spending time near the ocean relaxing, consider taking the kind of vacation she wants this summer.

In the long run, it's most important that the outcome of your disagreement doesn't leave one of you feeling like a loser. If you yield on an issue that's important to your partner, it's likely that your partner will do the same for you on another occasion.