It's certainly hard for a child who is overweight — getting teased or called names, or being the last person picked for the kickball team. It's difficult for the parent, too. No parent wants to see his or her child left out of social events or hurt. If your child is overweight, you can help. But remember, the goal of weight control in children is just that: control, not weight loss. Instead of trying to help a child reduce his or her weight, let height catch up to weight by maintaining a slow rate of weight gain. The only exception is if the child's health is in danger because of the extra weight — and that's a decision to make with a physician.
Nurture a positive body image
Children learn by watching grown-ups. If you show your children good eating habits, they're more likely to follow your example. If you're constantly dieting and criticizing your body, they learn to disrespect theirs, too.
Let your children know that they are loved and perfect just the way they are. Help them to learn that people come in all shapes and sizes and that their outsides have nothing to do with their insides.
Encourage physical activity
Sure, getting physical helps balance calories. But it also helps develop coordination and self-confidence. And habits that start now are more likely to follow your child into adulthood. Here are some ideas:
- Take walks together after dinner.
- Plan nature walks, hikes, and canoe trips for the whole family.
- Encourage your child to join school or community athletic programs — but only if he or she enjoys the activity. If it's not fun, the child won't do it, and it won't engender lifelong habits. Volunteer to coach or, at the very least, go to games and practice sessions.
- Take up sports that the whole family can do, such as inline skating, cross-country or downhill skiing, and backpacking.
- Get a rope and start jumping. Stage a family tournament.
- Teach children to ride bikes and swim at an early age. Dust off your bike, too; put on your suit and get into the pool with your kids.
- Turn off the TV. Better yet, unplug it. And limit computer and video game time.
Honor your child's body
As a parent, your job is simple — in theory, anyway. You must provide the what, when,and where food is eaten. Your child's job is to decide whether he or she eats and how much. Whether your child is normal, underweight, or overweight doesn't matter. An overweight child should not be treated differently from other children.
A parent's responsibility is to:
- Provide healthy food choices. When you plan a snack or meal, make sure that it includes protein, carbohydrate, and a little bit of fat.
Serve foods that are good sources of fiber, such as vegetables and whole grains, often. These foods have fewer calories than fiber-free foods that are high in fat and sugar, such as pastries and ice cream.
It's also important to provide children with food regularly but not constantly. Children need to eat about every three hours; younger tykes may need to eat even more frequently. For adolescents who can eat more at one time, four hours between meals is fine.
- Manage the environment as much as you can. What food you serve and when you serve it are important. Where is the third leg of a parent's responsibility. Following are some tips for establishing a good meal-time environment:
• Limit eating to one or two rooms in the house — preferably the kitchen and dining room.
• Insist that children sit while eating.
• Eat your meals together as a family as much as possible. Keep the TV off and books and toys out of sight to encourage conversation.
• Sit and eat with your child. You create a healthy social environment and serve as a role model, too.
- Be a good example. Eat the same foods that you expect your child to eat. If you want him or her to drink low-fat milk, you should have some, too — not a soda.
- Never use food as a reward or punishment. This approach will backfire. Studies on children and their parents show that when food (such as dessert) is given as a reward for eating another food (such as a vegetable) or food is withheld as a punishment for not eating vegetables, children decrease their desire to eat the vegetables.
- Remember that it's a child's responsibility to decide whether to eat — not yours. A child may not be hungry at one meal but may make up for it and eat heartily at the next. Trust his or her body to decide.
- Let a child decide when to stop eating. People are born with an innate sense of knowing when to eat and when to stop. Offering advice (such as "I think you've had enough") or regulating the amount of food that a child is allowed to eat teaches distrust and fear of hunger, and may leave a child powerless and unable to take responsibility for his or her own body.
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