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When you bring your kitten home, he may be confused and scared — he misses his mommy. From now on, you are his mommy. Mimicking the things that mom did to make him feel comfortable and safe will bring you together quickly. Think about what a queen (that's the mother kitty) does for her kitten. She grooms, plays, teaches, and disciplines — the things your mom may have done for you.
 | Doing these things for and to your kitten help him to look at you as the mom cat he can depend on. That way, you're less like a scary giant stranger who stole him away from his real mom. |
Dining together
Your kitten's mom sat with her through every meal. Of course, she had to — she was nursing. Take a cue from the queen. Don't just dish out a bowl of food and walk away. Occasionally, sit down beside your kitten and visit with her while she eats. Talk to her. You can tell her about your day, and she won't complain that she's too busy to listen.
Treating him like a special kitten
Bonito, in Spanish, means pretty; bonito is also a kind of fish. Your kitten will think you're pretty great if you occasionally treat him to some dried bonito flakes, which you can buy at any pet supply store. To your kitten, bonito flakes taste like fish-flavored air; you only need to share a couple of pieces to get across the point that he's pretty special.
If your kitten isn't crazy about the fish flakes, then try a lick or two of turkey baby food, but make sure it doesn't contain onion powder. Neither the bonito flakes nor a dab of baby food will fill him up, so you don't have to worry about spoiling his dinner or adding too many calories. Two quick cautions: Don't overdo the baby food (you don't want to deal with diarrhea), and don't keep the bonito flakes in a spot where you don't want the kitten to hang out, like around the computer keyboard. He'll never leave you alone.
Offering her a little (cat)nip
Most kitties just love a little catnip. Even big cats, like lions and tigers and pumas (oh my!) respond like kittens to the stuff. But enjoying catnip is an acquired taste, and young kittens usually don't respond. Although most kittens don't react to catnip until they're about 6 months old, some get turned on as early as 6 weeks. Some kitties get sleepy, and others become wired. Your kitten may experience euphoria for 10 or 15 minutes. Catnip isn't chemically addictive like a drug. But like candy, it sure is fun.
| You don't have to go out and spend a fortune on catnip toys. One of the favorite toys around our house is an old sock filled with bulk catnip (which you can get at any pet supply store). The sock takes seconds to make — just stuff the catnip in and tie a knot in the end. After your kitty is done playing, seal the toy in a plastic bag: The catnip will stay fresh and appealing longer, and he won't grow bored with it. |
 | You may have seen some cats writhe in unadulterated joy when you serve up the catnip, while others trot past without a clue. Somewhere around a quarter to a third of cats don't have that gene that lets them enjoy the pleasant chemical reaction to catnip. That doesn't mean these cats must go without plant-induced euphoria. Kittens and cats who don't respond to catnip usually respond to honeysuckle toys. Dampen the toy to release the aroma. |
Massaging your kitten
Even before feeding her baby, the mother cat licked and massaged her kitten to stimulate his first breaths and his blood flow. You can make him feel like his mother is giving him a gentle massage again.
Wait until your kitten is relaxed. Then start the massage with slow caresses. Alternate moving with your full palm along broader areas like his back and sides. Using the pads of your fingers, stroke slowly under the chin and around the cheeks. Work your way under the neck, along the back, and even out to the tip of the tail.
| Try to establish a daily massage routine at the same time and place — and follow the same massage pattern. For example, each morning while coffee is brewing, take four minutes for massage before your day gets too busy. |
Grooming with a soft brush
Your kitten's mother used to groom her kittens until they were squeaky clean. But you probably don't want to give the kitten a spit bath to make her feel the way mamma did. Use a very soft cat brush instead. Make slow strokes beginning at the tip of the nose, brushing over the whiskers up to the ear. Keep the emphasis on working slowly. Next, run the brush from the tip of the chin right down to the chest. Caress along the shoulder and the length of the back. This gentle grooming not only bonds the two of you together, but it also gets her accustomed to brushes and handling.
Sleeping with your furry friend
Your kitten felt very safe as he curled up against his mom's giant body. So sleeping with you is a reminder of sleeping with his mom. Before he can go to your slumber party, though, he needs to be grown up enough to find his litter box on his own. Don't sleep with your kitten until he reaches about 4 months. By this time, he should be big enough to avoid you when you roll around and competent enough with the litter box that you can trust him for the night.
Disciplining with love
Bonding with your kitten doesn't mean that she gets her way all the time. Sometimes, she's going to test the boundaries. But never hit your kitten. When she's veered off the path of appropriate behavior, do what her mom would do — hiss. However, hisses are effective only if your kitten is right beside you. If your kitten is across the room, make a loud noise: Clap your hands, stamp your foot, shake a soft drink can full of pennies, and say "No" in a strong voice. Praise her by saying "Thank you!" or "Good girl!" when she does something right. When she's focused on something inappropriate, distract her with a toy. Gentle correction and distraction, instead of screaming and hitting, shows your kitten the rules without teaching her to fear you. Everyone's happy and that can only bring you closer together.
Going fishing with your kitten
Nothing excites a kitten like the opportunity to chase after something and kill it. You can appeal to that aspect of your kitten's personality and also wear him out before bedtime with a "chase the prey" game.
Hang a toy mouse from the end of a stick, then cast the toy across the room like you would if you were going fishing. Then when kitty reaches the lure, start reeling him in. Don't reel too quickly. He needs to be able to catch that prey in his paws and know that he's the mighty hunter.
Making the bed
What most people look at as a tedious chore could turn out to be the high point of your kitten's day. Drop the sheet or bedspread on top of her and then tease your kitten with your fingers. Those tantalizing moving things become prey she can overpower and kill. Or, reverse the game. If she's sleeping on top of the comforter, slip your hand underneath and run it back and forth. Making the bed is another one of those fun games that use up kitty's predatory energy, and because a blanket or bedspread covers your digits, your kitten won't associate your naked fingers with prey.
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