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Becoming successful isn't just about hoping and dreaming. You can plan for success by looking at where you are, where you want to go, and how you're going to get there.
You've got to be before you can do and do before you can have. In short, you have to be a person of character and do the right things, and then you can have the things you really want.
To make the "be, do, have" theory valid, believable, and usable, look at some examples in your own life:
1. Take a sheet of paper and draw two vertical lines to make three columns.
2. At the top of the left-hand column, write Be; in the middle column, write Do; and over the last column, write Have.
3. In the right-hand column, list all the things that you really want in life, whether it's an education, good family relationships, a beautiful new home, a luxury car, a trip around the world, better health — you name it.
4. Work your way down the center column of the page, identifying the things that you have to do in order to have the things listed in the right-hand column.
Say that you want a successful marriage. To do so, you must be willing to share your innermost thoughts and concerns with your mate. You must carry more than your share of the workload, encourage your mate when he or she is down, and defend your mate against criticism. You need to remember special occasions (which go beyond birthdays, Valentine's Day, and anniversaries). Be particularly helpful when your mate is having a "down day," is not feeling well, or has had a tough time on the job. Apply the philosophy that "you can have everything that you want out of this marriage if you just help your mate get what he or she wants." Everybody's list varies, because each of us has unique needs, however the formula remains the same.
5. Go to the left-hand column and identify what you have to be in order to do so that you can have.
To have a successful marriage, some of the things that you must be are faithful, attentive, loving, caring, helpful, empathetic, encouraging, persistent, committed, kind, thoughtful, considerate, and responsible. Not having all these qualities at this moment is okay, because they're all skills, and skills can be developed.
 | Regardless of what you want to have — whether it's a better education, more sales, a beautiful home, closer relationships with your children, or a handicap of ten on the golf course — you can use this basic formula. Just look at what you have to do in order to accomplish that objective, and then examine yourself and determine what kind of person you have to be in order to do so that you can have. |
Achieving success by expecting success
When you plan and prepare carefully, you can expect to have success in your efforts. When you recognize and develop the winning qualities that you were born with, the winner you were born to be emerges. When you plan and prepare to make a sale, for example, you can legitimately expect to make a sale. Although not all your expectations are going to come to pass, you give yourself an infinitely better chance of succeeding by taking the proper steps. Regardless of your goal — losing weight, making more sales, furthering your education, earning a promotion, saving money for a new home or an exotic vacation — you can expect to achieve your goal if you plan and prepare for it.
 | You also need to understand that the path from where you are to where you want to be is not always smooth and straight. The reason for the twists and bumps is simple, and it has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with the fact that not everyone is as interested in your success as you are. Some people may accidentally hinder your efforts; others who are in competition with you and have little or no integrity may try to sabotage your efforts. |
Keep in mind, though, that when you hit those roadblocks or even reversals, your character, commitment, and attitude are the determining factors in your success. You need to carefully review your plan of action, seek wise counsel, and be particularly careful to feed your mind good information. An optimistic, positive mind is far more likely to come up with creative solutions than a mind that dwells on setbacks and difficulties.
Choosing success
In a lifetime, you make literally millions of choices. Most choices, after you make them a few times, become ingrained in you. You know from past experience what works for you, so you repeat the process. You only get into trouble when you don't get good results but keep doing the same things over and over again.
You literally can opt to be happy or miserable by the choices you make. If you choose to be happy, you need to explore what makes you happy. Identify whether happiness is a sense of accomplishment when you make an A in school, achieve a specific weight-loss goal, make a difficult sale, complete a mini-marathon, win over the sourpuss at the checkout counter, or whatever. Accomplishments make you feel good, and you're happy as a result. After you determine what makes you happy, choose to do those things.
Success is a choice in all areas of life; the physical, the mental, the spiritual, the financial, the personal, the family-related, and the career-related. Success is progress you can enjoy every day as you pursue your objective of getting more of the things that money can buy and all of the good things that money can't buy.
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